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Rude deputy head teacher

(22 Posts)

MNHQ have commented on this thread.

Lisa0911 Thu 12-Oct-17 11:17:55

My children deputy head teacher is so rude always ignored me when i say hi and every morning she stands at the main gate greetings parents but when she sees me , she will walk away and always greets other parents first doesnt to me and when i greets she ignored . Since september i now decide to use the back door so i wont see her again and today she was at the back door talking to my little girl how lovely her hair was , i say good morning twice she just ignored me and turn her face but i heard her saying hi to other parents . I dont know what i done to her it is possible for me to complain or just ignored it ?

RedSkyAtNight Thu 12-Oct-17 11:48:57

Unless you've specifically done something to irritate her (been "that" parent), is it possible you are being oversensitive? Staff cant' possibly greet every parent and tend to (rightly) focus on the children.

Not sure how or what you could complain about? (She'd simply say she didn't see you or was speaking to someone else). Is being said "hello" to really that important to you? Have you had cause to deal with her over an important issue - if she ignores you/is rude to you then, that's when to get annoyed!

HeadmasterIsShit Thu 12-Oct-17 11:51:51

Fucking hell I just posted on AIBU for our rude headmaster..... you're not west London are you? hmm
I doubt you're over sensitive... keep on saying Morning till she acknowledges!
Bunch of idiots teaching our children!

MiaowTheCat Thu 12-Oct-17 11:59:51

One of ours comes across as a bit "off" initially - but looking at it more rationally and over the longer term - it's just her manner, she's very very calm and reserved compared to most of the staff in the school (and usually concentrating on the kids over parents).

Notonthestairs Thu 12-Oct-17 12:06:11

Unless it affects your daughters education (unlikely) I'd let it go.

PigletWasPoohsFriend Thu 12-Oct-17 12:09:37

Bunch of idiots teaching our children!

Well aren't you a delight.

If you think that. Hone ed. Simple.

PigletWasPoohsFriend Thu 12-Oct-17 12:10:11

*Home Ed

Iamagreyhoundhearmeroar Thu 12-Oct-17 12:11:59

Bunch of idiots? If you’re paying for the privilege, you need to rethink who the actual idiot is.

PigletWasPoohsFriend Thu 12-Oct-17 12:12:54

Iamagreyhoundhearmeroar

Good point.

HeadmasterIsShit Thu 12-Oct-17 12:18:43

Iamagreyhoundhearmeroar
Heads, deputies who endorse a shitty behaviour in front of our kids are idiots!
And not acknowledging a simple mornding is plain stupid!

Iamagreyhoundhearmeroar Thu 12-Oct-17 12:22:21

So take your dosh elsewhere...

irvineoneohone Thu 12-Oct-17 12:23:04

Don't get you either, Head. Paying 6k a term and still sending your dc to the school where you think the teachers are idiots.

PigletWasPoohsFriend Thu 12-Oct-17 12:35:06

Heads, deputies who endorse a shitty behaviour in front of our kids are idiots!

Parents who pay 6k a term and think they can dictate the rules of a school are idiots.

HeadmasterIsShit Thu 12-Oct-17 12:37:17

Piglet you're the idiot for not reading MN guidelines for other threads!

PigletWasPoohsFriend Thu 12-Oct-17 12:39:32

No. I'm not an idiot. I also don't think paying a ridiculous amount of money gives me the right to throw my weight around.

HTH

Feenie Thu 12-Oct-17 12:53:28

It's not against MN guidelines to refer to other threads, Headmaster. You're getting confused with starting a thread about a thread.

brilliotic Thu 12-Oct-17 13:04:27

Funny as this thread is, I don't get how it is ever NOT rude to ignore a (clear, friendly) 'good morning'!

Even if the person addressed is mid-conversation with someone else, they can acknowledge it by manner of a smile, eye contact, a nod in your direction.

Totally ignoring is rude and, if done repeatedly, verges on bullying IMO.

As to why they may be doing it:
- do they think you are addressing someone else? There are usually lots of people around, lots of greetings being called at drop-off/pick up times.
- are you actually not clearly and loudly greeting them? Perhaps you are mumbling, hesitant, waiting for them to greet you first? (Because when you are worried that someone you greet might just ignore you, leaving you standing there like an idiot, most people would tend to reduce the risk of looking like an idiot. If you only mumble a greeting, then if nothing comes back, you can pretend that no greetings have been exchanged at all, rather that you have been slighted by ignoring.)
- Does the person have a reason to expect you might want to talk to them, and perhaps have reason to not want to talk to you right now, so is avoiding giving you any 'availability for talking' signals?

And what can you do about it? I think in the first instance I'd just make a point of clearly and loudly greeting them every time you see them.

If they still regularly fail to acknowledge you in any way, I might take to saying loudly to my child/a random bystander something like 'Oh wow, Mrs X must be terribly busy, they don't even have time to respond to friendly greetings!'

sirfredfredgeorge Thu 12-Oct-17 14:14:49

Even if the person addressed is mid-conversation with someone else

If someone is mid-conversation it is rude to interrupt them unless essential, a good morning is not essential. So no that doesn't work as a statement, unless what you actually want to say is rudeness should always be allowed as long as it's not from a head teacher.

soapboxqueen Thu 12-Oct-17 16:31:42

There is the possibility that she is hard of hearing. Voices don't carry as well outside. Next time you go in, walk right up to her and say hello or pretend like you have a question. If she ignores you when your are stood right in front of her, then there is an issue and you can ask what is going on.

FlissMumsnet (MNHQ) Thu 12-Oct-17 18:17:08

Ahem......flowers

jamdonut Sat 14-Oct-17 10:25:04

I'm. "Just a TA", and I say good morning to people as they come in. Occasionally , I forget names, or faces, or I am preoccupied with thinking about what I've got to get done, imminently.
I also have a hearing impairment, for which I wear hearing aids. Sometimes, depending on people's proximity to me, I don't hear things.
Staff have a lot on their minds, as well as keeping an eye on the children. Unless she has reason to be a bit wary of you , I wouldn't take it personally.

Out2pasture Sat 14-Oct-17 20:53:26

Just book a meeting and ask. Honestly maybe he thinks your an old neighbor who ran over his cat 10 yrs ago.

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