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At your school, what is the punishment for...

(24 Posts)
Logans Sun 01-Oct-17 16:58:56

At your school, what would the punishment or consequences be for a Year 4 child hitting another child (hitting the same child each time, always unprovoked and witnessed by teachers) for the third time, sometimes hard enough to leave a bruise?

And what about for a fourth or fifth time?

Also, if you were the parent of the child being hit, would you expect to be told what punishment the other child was receiving?

exLtEveDallas Sun 01-Oct-17 17:01:16

First hitting offence is loss of break times etc
Second is isolation
Third is fixed term exclusion

We would only tell the other parent that we were 'dealing with it', they wouldn't know how.

MyDcAreMarvel Sun 01-Oct-17 17:01:51

No I would not expect to be told the consequences for another child, that would be inappropriate.

GertiesEyebrow Sun 01-Oct-17 17:10:41

Having been on both sides:

Parental meeting. Talk with children/parents about the reasons why and what they could have done instead.

When both children are ready they sit down and talk it through. No forced apoligies but a recognition of what happened and why.

The child who hits is given intense support eg one on one help to work through the impact of their behaviour eg they write the consequences through such as no one wanting to play with them etc.

More emphasis on reward charts etc.

Stopped playtimes/toys removed eg if they hit someone with lego then they don't get to play with the lego because they can't be trusted.

Children kept apart.

It's a restorative justice school with lots of emphasis of being a good community member. It isn't an authoratarian school.

In my experience though, it doesn't tend to be completely one sided most of the time eg my 6 year old hit someone and they said it was unprovoked. She gave him a black eye but it turned out he'd kept pulling her coat and she'd tried to push him away because he wasn't listening when she said stop it. Teachers didn't see that but on my daughters insistence they asked the boy and he agreed that is what happened.

GertiesEyebrow Sun 01-Oct-17 17:10:55

What do you want to happen?

GertiesEyebrow Sun 01-Oct-17 17:12:07

exLtEveDallas
A 4 year old would be put in isolation and excluded for hitting 3 times? Really?

GertiesEyebrow Sun 01-Oct-17 17:18:24

Sorry. I thought it said 4 year old, not year 4.
Need to find my glasses.

SandBlue Sun 01-Oct-17 17:19:23

Just asked my 8 yr old y4.
He's not sure, but reckons it will involve the head. Poss temporary exclusion for prolonged occourances.
I reckon the parents (both sides) would be involved. But neither should be told the name of the other from the school (obviously the kids are likely to tell you). You shouldnt hear what punishment has been given to the other child.

catkind Sun 01-Oct-17 20:40:37

As parent of hit child I wouldn't expect to know consequence for the other child. You could ask what school are doing to prevent your child getting hurt again though. Sounds like hitting child could have serious issues - just hitting out like that in front of a teacher sounds very out of control.

BubblesBuddy Sun 01-Oct-17 21:00:21

Look at the behaviour policy and sanctions. It should be clear what is happening to the poorly behaved child. If the child has SEND though it may not be quite so easy.

Logans Sun 01-Oct-17 21:47:01

First hitting offence is loss of break times etc Second is isolation Third is fixed term exclusion

That is definitely more extreme than our school.

Logans Sun 01-Oct-17 21:47:55

No I would not expect to be told the consequences for another child, that would be inappropriate.

ISWYM and agree that I can't really expect to be told.

Logans Sun 01-Oct-17 21:48:57

Gerties I think what you describe may be more similar to our school.

Logans Sun 01-Oct-17 21:51:04

He's not sure, but reckons it will involve the head. Poss temporary exclusion for prolonged occourances .I reckon the parents (both sides) would be involved. But neither should be told the name of the other from the school (obviously the kids are likely to tell you). You shouldnt hear what punishment has been given to the other child.

Interesting that it'd involve the Head. Sounds like the approach at your school is harsher than at ours too.

musicalmama Sun 01-Oct-17 21:59:38

Secondary school in Scotland.

This would result in exclusion the first time if it was enough to leave a bruise. Exclusion for a few days or until end of the week if mid week. But I'm thinking along the lines of a punch in the face during class time for no reason. The child would definitely be in isolation for any times they crossed paths with their victim during shared classes.

AuditAngel Sun 01-Oct-17 22:04:50

At DS's secondary, he was hit by another child. I was told it was "boys being boys", but I pointed that excuse only washed when the actions were going both ways (previously verbal/pushing and shoving). As this was always DS as victim, it amounted to bullying. The teacher listened to my point and agreed, said the parent's would be called in for a meeting. Was not advised further on consequences

Logans Sun 01-Oct-17 22:09:31

Yes, I do suspect the child hitting has some mild SEN. At the least, the child is certainly very unhappy and also very young or immature for their age. I don't think the child is just being naughty, I think there are almost certainly some issues so I don't imagine it will be very easy for this child to alter their behaviour.

I have looked at the school policy and it does give details about the escalation of punishments (normal sort of stuff really, such as writing an essay reflecting on behaviour, various detentions etc) however it doesn't say what sort of offences would lead to each sort of punishment.

What do you want to happen?

I really have no opinion on what the school should be doing, except that I'm concerned that whatever they are doing is not effective enough as I'm pretty sure this child will repeat the behaviour.

I suppose I was trying to work out how many times the child will need to behave this way before they are suspended / excluded! I may be overly cynical, but I worry that as it's a fee paying school and the child has 2 siblings at the school it may be a very long time!!

Logans Sun 01-Oct-17 22:10:30

This would result in exclusion the first time if it was enough to leave a bruise. Exclusion for a few days or until end of the week if mid week. But I'm thinking along the lines of a punch in the face during class time for no reason. The child would definitely be in isolation for any times they crossed paths with their victim during shared classes.

In Secondary and a punch to the face I could definitely understand that!

Logans Sun 01-Oct-17 22:12:25

At DS's secondary, he was hit by another child. I was told it was "boys being boys", but I pointed that excuse only washed when the actions were going both ways (previously verbal/pushing and shoving). As this was always DS as victim, it amounted to bullying. The teacher listened to my point and agreed, said the parent's would be called in for a meeting. Was not advised further on consequences

I can totally imagine our school viewing it as "boys will be boys"!! Yes, I agree it's different when it is one way.

m0therofdragons Sun 01-Oct-17 22:26:56

I wouldn't expect to know punishments but we were in a similar situation with dd (she was reception and youngest in the whole school and a year 2 boy kept kicking and punching her when she refused to play with him). My angle was to ask what the school was doing to ensure dd's safety.

It got pretty bad at one point and I asked for a meeting before i wo

m0therofdragons Sun 01-Oct-17 22:30:13

Argh cat posted!

I refused to take dd to school unless they could convince me she was safe. It's my job as a parent to protect my dc and I was unable to do so and was in fact knowingly putting dd at risk just by sending her to school. After that meeting, where I stayed calm and had clear expectations that they would keep dd safe, it never happened again. They actually changed lunch break times so they were never on the playground together.

Logans Tue 03-Oct-17 15:21:48

Changed break times, wow. I can't see that happening in our school.

Very good point about asking what they are doing to ensure the child is safe. I'll definitely be asking that!

Logans Thu 05-Oct-17 00:45:24

Bump for more responses

BubblesBuddy Thu 05-Oct-17 17:02:41

As you are an independent primary, I would go and see the Head because the school is not keeping your child safe. An independent school can ask a child to leave if they cannot meet their needs. They do not have to accept Send children. They also may not wish to allocate extra resources to this child as a state school would.

A school behaviour policy should give some examples of behaviour that would be sufficiently serious for a short term exclusion or permanent removal. However most independent schools ask pupils to leave but the formal process must be in the policy. Writing an essay is just stupid! Ask how they are going to prevent your child being hit. Ask what supervision will now be put in place to avoid the situation arising again and ask for assurances that your child will be able to learn in a happy and stimulating environment and not one where they are fearful. See what they say.

Also look at some better behaviour policies. The one you quote is out of the Ark! Try and see what a good school would do.

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