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How bad is it for DS to not do his homework (reception)?

(40 Posts)
BellaGoth Sun 17-Sep-17 12:29:49

Not been a great start to school. DS is being assessed for autism / sensory processing disorder. I had meetings with the SENCO in July and was filled with optimism, but none of the info was passed on to the class teacher and his behaviour quickly deteriorated.

He's got a book (no words) which he's supposed to look at, plus two worksheets for his first two letters. He did one of the sheets but is refusing to do the other. He had a quick look at the book but really wasn't putting any effort in.

Pretty much all of today so far has revolved around not doing this homework. Everyone is in a foul mood. I'm struggling with anxiety anyway and I can't think straight. How awful would it be if he doesn't do the rest? Part of me thinks he's so little for all this pressure, but on the other hand I worry that if I don't set him up with good habits now we're going to have 14 years of fighting over homework.

OP’s posts: |
Lottey90 Sun 17-Sep-17 12:31:01

Start as you mean to go on.

SureIusedtobetaller Sun 17-Sep-17 12:36:52

Not awful at all. I'm a teacher. Not worth spending your whole day stressing when he is probably really struggling with being in school at the moment. I'd ask to meet with sendco and teacher together and put a plan together that is appropriate for him while he's waiting diagnosis. This will be better for them, him and you so they should be happy to do it. He probably needs extra visual prompts, warnings before activity changes and I personally think homework is a step too far. Read him a story or do some cooking with him, it will be just as valuable.

Stradbroke Sun 17-Sep-17 12:40:11

Oh god don't do it. Seriously. It doesn't help and just adds stress.

My DS has always had trouble with homework and tbh I just have up in primary as all it was achieving was us falling out and him getting stressed.

He has just started secondary and homework is on negotiable. He is getting on with it. Still doesn't like it but at 11 it's ok. At 4 not so much.

Dinosaursdontgrowontrees Sun 17-Sep-17 12:40:22

For goodness sake he's 4! Let the poor love play.

insancerre Sun 17-Sep-17 12:43:49

There is absolutely no value to homework in reception
It is totally unnecessary

Yika Sun 17-Sep-17 12:45:17

Completely agree that at reception age homework is valueless and counterproductive. I wouldn't do it.

QuackDuckQuack Sun 17-Sep-17 12:45:43

It really doesn't matter. Plenty of schools don't give homework other than reading. Do you read books with him? You could substitute the letter sheets with something like playing on an app (we like Hairy Letters).

It definitely isn't worth ruining your weekend for.

Whatshouldmyusernamebe Sun 17-Sep-17 12:46:59

Don't worry about it. My son is year 2 and if he does it he does it but if he doesn't I don't stress. Even when he does it he doesn't remember to hand it in.

JeffJarrett Sun 17-Sep-17 12:48:03

10 minutes of weekly homework used to take DS around 60 with a meltdown, I made him do it to not let him have control of everything, though it was horrific (he has ASD, ADHD and I strongly suspect ODD but haven't gone for diagnosis of this). School were very understanding and it wouldn't have been an issue if he hadn't done it though. Reading books ended up the same way, and they were 100+ pages at the end.

He's in year 6 at a special school now and doesn't get any at all. I must admit it's a huge relief but I am dreading the change of high school when I assume it will be back.

Callamia Sun 17-Sep-17 12:48:54

Right now, it's more important that your son likes school, and sees it as a place that is non-threatening. If that means not doing all of the homework, then fine. You can try, and make it available to do (ie. be positive about it as something you can do together), but not force it if it's going to make him miserable about school and learning.

He's only in week one or two, and it's all new and probably overwhelming. I hope your assessments for SPD and ASD are useful - setting up a classroom/school relationship that works for him too is the most important thing.

pilotswife Sun 17-Sep-17 12:49:26

Don't even think about it ! Let the teacher know and just enjoy your afternoons together. Homework for primary students - especially those who struggle is nuts.

BellaGoth Sun 17-Sep-17 12:51:15

Yes we read, he has at least 3 books at bedtime which he loves.

quack screens are a bit of an issue for us so tend to avoid where possible, would have been a good idea though.

OP’s posts: |
frogsoup Sun 17-Sep-17 12:57:09

'Start as you mean to go on' is ridiculous advice. He is FOUR. On that kind of reasoning, why not get him cooking his own tea and filling in a tax return hmm Oh and only 7 hours of sleep, that's all you'll get once you are a grown up. Honestly, homework in reception is nonsense. I never did any and still managed three degrees!

OrSoItSeemsThatWay Sun 17-Sep-17 12:57:53

I said in reception DS would not be doing any homework. Luckily his school were very well balanced about it, and said that they set it because some parents really pushed for it, but they wouldn't insist. I don't believe any should be given in reception (infants overall, in fact) other than reading and told the school that would be my approach with DS. I'd advise you to do the same.

SisterhoodisPowerful Sun 17-Sep-17 13:02:34

Research is pretty clear that homework does not have any real impact on educational attainment. It's far more important that he reads/ gets read to books he enjoys, including comics, than it is to force him to read school books that don't interest him. You can sneak in basic maths & reading cooking together or counting money for bus fare. Even watching cartoons and talking about them is good for learning. There are lots of great art videos on YouTube if that interests him.

Stressing both of you out is counter-productive. At his age, fun is important, especially if waiting for an assessment.

BellyBean Sun 17-Sep-17 13:24:47

Agree no mileage in forcing the issue. Any chance you could channel something he does like to meet homework objective? Make the letter from playdo or Lego? Bake biscuits and ice with the letter?

BellaGoth Sun 17-Sep-17 13:31:43

belly he does know both letters (by pure chance they're both in his name). So he can recognise them. It's just the writing of them that isn't great.

OP’s posts: |
oldcrownie Sun 17-Sep-17 13:43:17

Absolutely don't do it. As others have said right now he is still settling in to school it would be highly inappropriate to get into battles over homework. In early years schools and nurseries have to share with parents how they can help their child at home. This is a good thing. Bringing books home to share, activity ideas, suggested apps or websites are all great when presented as an optional extra. If presented as statutory homework then that is just crazy and wrong.

MrsDeaconClaybourne Sun 17-Sep-17 13:43:28

Def don't do it. Homework should be fun in reception and help with engaging with school - it's not doing that if it's upsetting him. I'd put a quick note in the planner or speak to his teacher to say you tried so she knows it wasn't just that you didn't bother.

VforVienetta Sun 17-Sep-17 13:46:19

I agree with ^^ - there's little point in forcing homework on a 4yo, esp one with ASD.
My 6yo DS is still waiting assessment, but we barely did any homework during Reception, maybe 30% during Y1, and have high hopes to do better during Y2 but frankly I won't force him.
Yours may be different, but with my son if you push something he just pushes back harder.

Bobbybobbins Sun 17-Sep-17 13:48:50

Don't do it. Homework should be fully differentiated including for children with different SEN. It's more important that he isn't put off school altogether and to have a fun relaxing weekend in my opinion.

ilovesushi Sun 17-Sep-17 14:12:23

It's fine. Do what is right for him. Sounds like you both have a lot going on at the moment. No need to add more pressure. My DS has SEN and I usually attach a small note to his homework if we have modified it in some way. I am guessing the school will set him up with an IEP (individual education plan) and you will meet up with his class teacher at least once a term to discuss his needs. If the teacher is reasonable they aren't going to insist on him doing the homework to the letter.

CruCru Sun 17-Sep-17 17:03:27

It's incredibly early to set homework, particularly for Reception. It sounds like this homework is taking over your weekend (which it shouldn't). Set yourself 15 minutes (set a timer on your mobile). Once the 15 minutes is up, stop. Write a note to the teacher to say that this is what you got done within the 15 minutes. Then leave it for the rest of the day.

SheRaaarghPrincessOfPower Sun 17-Sep-17 17:08:39

In reception DS did the homework if he wanted to, and I helped him if he needed it, but I never stressed about pushing him to do it..

We absolutely did do reading though, as much as he wanted. Even now in year 4, I'll just remind him about homework if he's forgotten and provide materials if needed, but otherwise it's down to him.

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