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Sports Day - HT called our children spoilt babies

(94 Posts)
wibblypig1 Thu 13-Jul-17 21:02:35

Hope someone can advise as I'm really cross.

DS1 yr2 - school sports day last week. It was loads of hanging around, everyone was getting bored and tired. One race, then a delay, one more race - delay - it took hours to get through everything. The usual PTA members kids won loads of medals each - some 3 gold medals per child, whilst my DS (who isn't competitive or particularly athletic/sporty) won nothing.
The next day, HT took assembly. Asked all kids to stand up who didn't win anything. My DS stood up with a handful of others, mainly reception kids.
They were told to stay standing up if they'd cried at not winning. I can't make out if he stayed standing or not. The HT then toldvthose standing up that they were nothing but babies and acted very spoilt.

Is it just me or was this totally unnecessary?

There's loads of nepotism in the school, the same kids in the newsletter winning awards for "most caring" and getting photos of them on the classroom windows, the best parts in plays etc - all PTA kids or TA's kids. It's really got me cross. Please help me reason this out. DS bust a gut and was so sad at not winning (we'd told him there would be no negative repercussions - now I feel like I've been made out to be a liar).

OP’s posts: |
NellieFiveBellies Thu 13-Jul-17 21:05:29

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Polly2345 Thu 13-Jul-17 21:07:22

That's appalling. I'd report the head to anyone I could - the govenors? The LEA? I'm not sure who you report a head to. They shouldn't be teaching.

SugarMiceInTheRain Thu 13-Jul-17 21:08:11

That is awful shock sad

user789653241 Thu 13-Jul-17 21:08:46

This doesn't even make sense.What the children winning on the sports day got to do with PTA.

StarHeartDiamond Thu 13-Jul-17 21:09:02

Well. First thing I'd do is check the facts of the situation. "babies and acting very spoilt" doesn't really fit with crying because you lost a race, surely it shows you cared about winning? confused

So find out exactly what happened. If it is close or exactly like your ds has described then you've probably got a lot of stuff to say and I wouldn't be shy about saying it (if it was me).

If you ds has got things mixed up try to untangle exactly what was said because the message he got was not positive, far from it. Etc.

Anditstartsagain Thu 13-Jul-17 21:09:04

I would raise hell and make sure my child knew I will never let anyone bully or humiliate them. What a fucking arsehole.

NukaColaGirl Thu 13-Jul-17 21:09:22

I'd be going fucking nuclear about this. What the actual fuck was the HT thinking?!

Polly2345 Thu 13-Jul-17 21:10:13

Have you asked any other parents what their kids have said about it? Is there any chance your DC has misunderstood what the head said? I'm nor accusing him of lying I just can't quite believe a head would say that!

disneyprincess87 Thu 13-Jul-17 21:10:36

confused I can't imagine any HT who wanted to keep their job actually doing this!
You need to go into the school and find out what happened.

Pallisers Thu 13-Jul-17 21:11:45

They were told to stay standing up if they'd cried at not winning. I can't make out if he stayed standing or not. The HT then toldvthose standing up that they were nothing but babies and acted very spoilt.

How awful. Any school I was in, there would be a stream of parents in the HT office the next morning. Even if my child wasn't standing, I'd be complaining about this.

HemiDemiSemiquaver Thu 13-Jul-17 21:13:01

that sounds bizarre!
I dont' really see how the PTA could have engineered certain children winning races - surely that's more transparent than other forms of selection at school. But regardless of whether anyone won or not, that's incredibly cruel to talk about it like that, to single out children who didn't win, to berate them for crying. Unbelievably cruel. If that is really the correct story (and I would be checking that), something needs to be said. I'd leave out the nepotism angle, but just go for sportsmanship, kindness, participation, all those things that people say sports day is supposed to be about.

zzzzz Thu 13-Jul-17 21:14:24

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Ca55andraMortmain Thu 13-Jul-17 21:14:28

Were you there when this happened? Or is this info coming from Ds? He might be telling you what he got from what happened rather than what was actually said. I really can't imagine a head teacher standing.up in assembly, in front of all of her staff as well as the kids and forcing children who had cried at not winning to identify themselves, much less calling them names. Obviously if that is what happened you should certainly speak to the HT about it, but I would do everything possible to find out for sure of his version is accurate before you go in guns blazing.

Also agree with pps- on sports day the fastest/most athletic kids will win regardless of who their parents are.

BewareOfDragons Thu 13-Jul-17 21:15:53

If that really happened, and you have to confirm that somehow before you go any farther, I would formally complain and find my child another school.

mrz Thu 13-Jul-17 21:16:06

*"*^*I dont' really see how the PTA could have engineered certain children winning races*^ *"* perhaps you're only allowed on the PTA if you have an athletic child/future Olympian

Quokka12 Thu 13-Jul-17 21:16:20

This is nonsense - how did a PTA or TA parent engineer their child to be better at running or sack race or egg and spoon. Equally no head spends their time shaming reception - older kids maybe if their behaviour was off.

JeffreySadsacIsUnwell Thu 13-Jul-17 21:18:33

Bloody hell. Letter to Chair of Governors. There will be a complaints procedure policy somewhere on the school website; it almost certainly says complain to teacher first, then HT, then chair of govs. However, if you're complaining about the HT, then I think going straight to chair of govs is probably sensible. If you suspect they'll leap to HT's defence, make an appt with the class teacher, ask them for their version, then write to the HT and get ready to write to the chair of govs immediately upon receipt of reply - which probably won't be until at least Sept if ever. If no satisfaction from HT, raise it with the LA and/or OFSTED

Does the school have a culture of bullying?

Autofillcontact Thu 13-Jul-17 21:19:36

I would find out whether this happened first- speak to the form teacher and other parents?

If it did you'll need to follow the governors complaints procedure but this would be very serious

wibblypig1 Thu 13-Jul-17 21:20:10

Thank you for your replies.

I've heard it off a couple of older children, so I'm assuming they're not all wrong. The HT definitely got all children who didn't win and who cried at not winning to stand up in front of the rest of the school, then said they were babies and acting "spoilt" - my DS doesn't even use the word spoilt (neither do we) so I just can't see how he'd have got it wrong, and the PTA help organise the sports day. I don't know how or why but the main PTA kids were walking around with 3 medals each.

OP’s posts: |
Autofillcontact Thu 13-Jul-17 21:20:25

If the complaint is about the HT it's standard that it goes to the governors

wibblypig1 Thu 13-Jul-17 21:23:21

Sorry, to those questioning the story, this had initially come from a bright year 6 child, plus another child in another class then confirmed by my DS upon further questioning. He didn't tell me at first.

OP’s posts: |
wibblypig1 Thu 13-Jul-17 21:24:38

There is a strong culture of nepotism in the school, as confirmed by mothers of older kids.

OP’s posts: |
Gazelda Thu 13-Jul-17 21:31:11

I'd be more than cross! I'd be contacting the chair of Governors and making arrangements to transfer DC to another school.

JeffreySadsacIsUnwell Thu 13-Jul-17 21:31:58

My post is based on the assumption that the OP is certain that the DS's story is correct, btw!

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