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Part time schooling advice please

(13 Posts)
Hfdmousey Tue 18-Apr-17 21:14:34

Here's the back ground story, My ds has just be given a place in our first choice school which is where my elder ds also attends, so a school I am familiar with. My eldest in an early Jan baby and loved nursery and did well there in his peer group, my youngest is a early March baby has attended the same nursery but hasn't done so well constantly being kept back in classes each time his peers moved on so when turning 3 he was with newly 2 year olds. Since Christmas he has been in the preschool section and back with his peers I'm told he plays well and joins in and has a lovely time the only issue now is he's not pottty trained and shows little signs of grasping it yet poos on toilet no problem very rarely has dirty nappy, but has no control over wees will go for one at times but wets pull ups regularly have tried him in pants but he will wet and just sit there doesn't even want to be out of wet items boarding in lazy if nothing else! So he has to go to school in September I don't feel he's ready the potty training is a huge worry as is the fact that it we have a busy few days he reverts to napping. This is leading me to look at the part time school attending after a friend surgested it, something which is done at the school though frowned at a little the last years intake seemed to have a few that have done it. I was looking to propose that he attends 3 days a week mon, wed, fri so to have a rest day after each day there. Has any one done this or can anyone offer advice on my situation ? so this is so long just trying to cover issues so not to drip feed 😃

GreatWhites Tue 18-Apr-17 21:53:29

If you are concerned about him being 'kept back' from his peers I cannot understand why you think keeping him off half the week will help him. He will miss a lot, especially the chance to form relationships with his peers.

Toilet training could be done over the summer.

I genuinely don't think part time is the way to go here.

Campfiresmoke Tue 18-Apr-17 22:24:31

Lots of children are still having trouble with wetting themselves when they start school - really don't worry. You have plenty of time to get him sorted by Septmber. If he still is having lots of accidents justspeak to the teacher so they know to encourage him to go often and send in lots of spares each day. He isn't young for his year group so I wouldn't go part time personally. From what you have said I would think he would benefit from being with classmates his age who might bring him on a bit although obviously you know your child better than anyone.
For what it's worth my son was terrible at toilet training a no was still having day time wetting age 6 in Year 2! He just didn't seem bothered then it suddenly just clicked. I think he became more socially aware. Try ERIC website for advice.

Hfdmousey Tue 18-Apr-17 23:02:36

Sorry I'm not concerned that he was being kept back, i made the point that he was kept back as nursery felt he needed it as every time the class moved up they felt he wasn't ready to go with them
!

2014newme Wed 19-Apr-17 14:38:52

They do phonics daily so if you want him to go part time do mornings rather than in one day our another or he will be perpetually behind in learning phonics and reading which if he's already struggling will be unhelpful

PathOfLeastResitance Wed 19-Apr-17 17:13:11

I agree with previous posters that in this case it doesn't sound to me like part time would be beneficial but if you decide to go for it then I would suggest that the pattern of days that you are proposing will make it very hard for him to settle.

BarbarianMum Wed 19-Apr-17 22:24:49

You can request part time but it's the school who says which pattern of days that equates to. At ours it's mornings only. Not realistic to expect school to accommodate and teach a range of children all on different part time schedules.

Tumtetum Thu 20-Apr-17 12:28:51

Assuming you are in England, your son does not need to be in school until the term after he turns five - so with a March birthday that would be the summer term, after the Easter holidays. Therefore for the first two terms of school, September until Easter break, you can choose to send him part time. The school cannot do anything about it and nor can they dictate to you what days he has to go in. I'm not saying that's the best way to go about it, but that is your legal right. For the sake of getting on well with the school I would suggest you discuss it with them and try to come to some sort of agreement (e.g. if they are really pushing mornings, you could agree four mornings with one day completely off, or similar). But don't let them tell you that it's up to the school, because it isn't.

Incidentally my daughter went part time and it caused no problems with friendships whatsoever. There was a very occasional comment or question by another child about why she went home at lunchtime/didn't go in every day, but nothing that upset her. She did a gradually increasing mix of half days, no days and full days and didn't find this confusing. By the summer term she was going full time. The way I did it is I wrote to the school before she started (so about this time of year) setting out what I wanted to do and why, then had a discussion and we agreed it.

There are always people who foresee all kinds of problems if you do anything outside of the norm. What they don't consider is that almost all children start full time and many, many children find that difficult - just have a look at all the threads on here! Having a gentler start to school worked brilliantly for my DD - it might do for your son too.

Hfdmousey Thu 20-Apr-17 22:24:51

Thank you tumtetum for sharing your experience yes we are in England and I did mention my wishes when we looked around the school and I was told that it was possible and that others have done this certainly for the first term but I could go again and speak to the early years teacher to get more information and express my wishes as my eldest son is at the school. As I said above they have had a few start partime this year and both of my friends daughters have gone part time in previous years at first in the one day in one out patten both got on just fine. I am with you I don't see why every one is so negative about it as you rightly say he doesn't have to go legally till the last term of the school year after Easter and if they did termly intakes like when I was little he wouldn't start for a year from now! he is a very bright boy but gets tired and grotty very easily after a few busy days, we've had a awful day with him today as we've been on days out the last couple of days. In the term time weeks he does one day nursery 10.30 till 3.30 one day at home then nursery again then 2 days at home we don't do much in the term time, my concern is that he's going to get so tired going full time he won't learn well and be disruptive as he misbehaves when tired. This is why I think part time would be better for him I would rather him do less time at school but really be learning then be full time getting told off because he can't deal with it before people jump on me he goes to bed at between 7.30 /8 and wakes at 7 so he gets a good nightly sleep. I posted on here hoping to see how many people do exercise there right to go part time but I would appear very few people do and more still don't agree with the idea at all 😕

2014newme Fri 21-Apr-17 07:14:30

Bring bedtime forward to 7pm.
Your son goes to bed at the same time as my 9 year olds, no wonder he's knackered poor thing!

WhiteHartLane Fri 21-Apr-17 10:29:17

Hfdmousey I started school aged nearly 5 in 1987 and staggered intakes were the norm. Nowadays it is practically unheard of (in my area anyway) and I don't know of anyone who has delayed their child's start.
My DS is 4 in July so will start Reception in September. He is still so little and easily tired. Ideally I would have liked to defer his place until next Jan but the pre-school he attends seem very against the idea, stating he will suffer socially if he doesn't move up with his peers (he has a speech disorder) so I am now going down the part-time route. He will attend 3.5 days a week at least until Jan 2018.
I don't disagree with spring / summer borns starting in September however, some are more than ready and shouldn't be held back by their birthdays.

Littlefish Fri 21-Apr-17 17:34:30

I'm am early years teacher, and fully support part time attendance when it's appropriate. However, I would suggest he attends every day, mornings only so that he sees the other children every day, and is part of any phonics teaching, which tends to happen in the morning.

Hfdmousey Sat 22-Apr-17 00:28:07

Thank you for that it's nice to know I'm not the only one wanting to part time school and to have the knowledge that some early year teachers do support it if it's right for the child I have spoken to the local authorities education placement department today they have confirmed he doesn't legally have to attend till Easter term and that I can ask for him to go partime but it is a discussion I need to have with the school. the difficulty there is we have a new head teacher starting September so will not know her feelings on the matter till then if it comes down to her decision, we currently have two acting heads at the moment one is leaving in July, the other staying on and going back to his deputy role I have spoken to him on various occasions about things for my eldest son so I think I will speak to him when they go back next week even if we don't sort out the minor details to know he can go part time will be a huge weight off my mind then if he does surprise me like every one thinks he will I can reverse it and send him full time I just think it's easier to set this up now and be wrong then send him full time and get to Christmas wishing he went part time as I can't see them letting him go part time once he has started as full time .

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