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Advice please - child trying to touch willies etc

(14 Posts)
notturningintopowerranger Fri 24-Mar-17 11:09:01

Hi there

My son is in reception at a nearby school and was there for nursery. There have been issues from day one, he was being bullied by a kid - I'll call him P and this took the form of pushing, hitting and kicking. The teacher would not confirm if this was happening and I did not feel my child's needs were taken seriously. A while ago my child came home saying P had licked another child's penis in the playground. Recently I am hearing from all parents that P has been asking to see their child's penises or showing them his, touching kids inappropriatley and physically attacking other children. This has made me certain that my child was telling the truth about the incident in the playground. It is out of control. The school reported to children's services but no further action was taken.

Another perent went in to school to collect their child at lunchtime last week and there were children (quite literally) climbing the walls, the teachers screaming at them, coats all over the floor, some inside with no supervision. She said it was like a zoo. It's insane!

My child is in the extra needs group, but the teacher has always told us that everything is going completely fine for him - we don't need to worry at all. I only found this out by seeing on the timetable he is on the list of kids they take out for extra support...!

We applied for a school closer to us, which is an excellent but oversubscribed school. He is first on the list, but a place may not come up for some time, we just don't know. I have just got my youngest in to this school and he will be starting in september. I have friends to help with school run so not too worried about logisitics.

My question is this: should i take my son out of the first school and put him into another school nearby while waiting for excellent school? This would make logisitcs even easier as they're in the same direction. They have a place he could start now. However, I would then want to move him to the excellent school as soon as a place came up which would mean another move. Should i homeschool until he gets a place? Should i leave him at the zoo school until a place comes up?

He is very angry and upset, and I feel I'm not protecting him by leaving him there. I am really worried, and don't know what to do. Home schooling would be a bloomin' nightmare as I work, but maybe I could give my son a boost until he starts at the excellent school. I just don't know what is for the best.

skal Fri 24-Mar-17 17:00:02

The downside of moving schools too often is much lower than leaving him in such a place. If I were you, I would take my child out of such an environment immediately! It will take you some time before you undo the damage anyway.

Tomorrowillbeachicken Fri 24-Mar-17 17:09:25

I'd remove my DS immediately and either HS or put him into another school. That school has major safeguarding issues.

Mehfruittea Sat 25-Mar-17 16:34:08

If you are able to, HS would be the best option so that you can provide continuity within the changes. Are you happy that you could meet his needs in the short term?

Elizabeth1970 Sat 25-Mar-17 20:03:14

Has this child got additional needs?

temporarilyjerry Sun 26-Mar-17 15:47:50

How is that relevant, Elizabeth? This behaviour in such a young child is concerning and school has a responsibility to safeguard OP's child.

AndKnowItsSeven Sun 26-Mar-17 15:51:10

I would home school him rather than move twice. The school is not meeting their duty of care.

Berthatydfil Sun 26-Mar-17 15:57:52

The child's behaviour sounds worrying - he could be exposed to inappropriate things at home or worse.
The school should have referred this to social services.
However this is separate to they way they are managing the teaching and learning in the school and general behaviour.
Up to you whether you think moving will be too disruptive. I guess you won't know how long you will be waiting for a place in the other school.
At the very least you should make an appointment to go in to discuss your child's progress take it from there.

notturningintopowerranger Sun 26-Mar-17 20:17:47

Thanks for responses. I don't and really I shouldn't know if the child has additional needs - it's not any of my business.

I understand that these things happen in any school, but it is the schools absolute denial that there is an issue that is making this very upsetting. There is one teacher and two TAs per class, and two classes in the unit (just early years). That is enough to supervise this child closely each playtime but the school have not prioritised him or other children's safety.

My son told me today that not a day goes by that this child doesn't hit him. I'm really fed up. There's no way he can go back!

Home schooling is not ideal at all - I would be exhausted as I work nights, but yes I feel I could meet his needs, even though it's very daunting. I would spend a lot of time outdoors doing science stuff over the summer and it sounds quite nice actually. We have so many tantrums after school because my kid feels powerless I think and I'd love a chance for these to stop.

Darthvadersmuuuum Sun 26-Mar-17 20:28:48

Please don't take you DS to school in the morning notturning. The school are failing in the duty to safeguard him. If, as you say, you have the luxury to hs, you can take the time to nurture him and repair the trauma this other child has caused. I'm not blaming the other child - he is also being failed!

Darthvadersmuuuum Sun 26-Mar-17 20:30:30

Ok so it's not so much a luxury to hs if you work nights but if you can manage it temporarily it would be the most preferable option imo.

Elizabeth1970 Sun 26-Mar-17 21:21:15

How would you sleep if you work nights and then have a child to care for?
I asked about additional needs just as an explanation maybe of why the other child is behaving like this - but it is slightly irrelevant and I would be storming in to see the head in the morning to discuss what they are doing to protect your son
I would also contact the LEA ASAP

shirleycartersaidso Sun 26-Mar-17 21:24:44

I'd be removing my child and trying to figure something else straight away.

VimFuego101 Sun 26-Mar-17 21:34:49

I would call the NSPCC for advice regarding the child's behavior, since the school have been unhelpful. I would also complain to the governors and ask how they plan to ensure your child's safety. Maybe a complaint to OFSTED if that doesn't work (or at least once your child has a place at the new school).

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