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My childs said hes been hit by a helper!

(12 Posts)
beckyweymouth Fri 03-Mar-17 19:34:26

My child has autism and gos to a main stream school. He came come today and told me he was hit over the head twice hard with a book in front of the class and it hurt hes told me its happend more then once and also that the helper won't let him drink water . He suffers migraines and needs to drink water regularly. I think the school will deny this (they havent been helful in the past) just at a loss on what to do?

i immediately rang the school but only the receptionist was there to speak to . After saying that there has been an incident that i which to speak to the head about she pressed me for details and the name of the helper and said she will get someone to speak to to me monday.he has this helper every morning so not sure im comfortable sending him to school with her untill iv spoken to someone about this.when i asked him what the helper said to him the terminology he used was not something iv heard before which makes me 100% believe him.

Littlefish Fri 03-Mar-17 19:50:00

I think you've done exactly the right thing arranging to speak to the headteacher. I have to say though that I think the chances that a Teaching Assistant has hit your child over the head with a book, twice, in front of the rest of a class of children (and presumably the teacher), without you being contacted immediately, are extremely small.

Scabetty Fri 03-Mar-17 20:09:11

You have done the right thing.

beckyweymouth Fri 03-Mar-17 20:28:48

Well he said it was in class so agree that someone must of saw . Just cant shake the comment he told me she said to him after she done it .the have been incidents with him being hurt by other pupils which i was only made aware of by other parents which i guess makes me fell uneasy. There also ment to write a dairy each day on how hes doing which has only been written in 6 times this year . He finds it hard to talk about whats happening at school.

MrsKCastle Sat 04-Mar-17 09:48:30

I would not send him in until you have spoken to the HT. You need to be able to trust the school. It seems like a very bizarre story in that if a TA had actually done this, in front of a class of children, it would be considered a serious incident and should be dealt with accordingly. In the schools that I have worked in, you would have been contacted as soon as the HT became aware.

Is there any way your DS could have misunderstood or misinterpreted what happened? E.g. on at least two occasions I have 'hit' a child in my class, both times when they came up behind or next to me and I turned or moved my hand without knowing they were there. Do you know any other parents that you could call and ask them if their children had seen it?

Letseatgrandma Sat 04-Mar-17 09:58:55

If this has happened then obviously it is totally unacceptable and I would imagine the TA will lose their job.

As the previous poster has said though, I have also 'hit' children at work. One boy had come up and was standing right behind my shoulder as I turned and sharply moved my arm-I had no idea they were there and they got a bash to the eye. Obviously it was an accident! Back when I was an NQT, in the days when we'd ring a huge heavy playground handbell at the end of playtime, the headmistress managed to bash a boy over the head with a bell as he appeared from nowhere under her arm!

Obviously get the facts.

You mention the communication book has only been written in 6 times this year. In my opinion these books are very useful tools when used properly. Do you write in it daily? If not, maybe it would be a good idea-to let the school staff know what's going on at home. If the school staff aren't using it-maybe you should have mentioned it-at October, Christmas, February half term?? I'm surprised it's got to 2/3 through and only just been raised as a problem. If it should be used daily-then both home/school should be doing so. I would go in and suggest that it's used properly from now on -by both parties.

Witchend Sat 04-Mar-17 10:25:40

Dd2 told me one of the teachers shouted at her and hit her once.

In her mind this was true.

The reality of the situation was she was running in the corridor, teacher was bending down facing the wrong way and dd2 ran into her. Teacher said "dd2, you shouldn't be running in the corridor".

This was seen by a couple of parents I trust.

Boiled7Up Sat 04-Mar-17 10:56:33

I think it's very possible she has jokingly tapped him on the head and he hasn't been unable to understand- hence using the word 'hit'.

It happens. Don't go in all guns blazing. My infant children are not allowed water in class either. All it takes is a calm word and it will be sorted out.

Helper or TA, coincidentally?

jamdonut Sat 04-Mar-17 14:27:27

Please just ask calmly.
A child told her mother I'd pulled her hair...What actually happened was, we were on a school trip. The children wear high-vis jackets when we are out. When they put their coats back on to go home the child in question was all bunched up and had her hood under the jacket. I pulled the hood from out of the jacket for her, but must have caught her hair too!
Mum was ,apparently, very calm when she asked the teacher ( I wasn't in the vicinity when she did this). Luckily, the Teacher remembered seeing me do this, and asked the child if this is what had happened, which she agreed was the case.
I was mortified when the teacher told me about it afterwards! It was just something so innocuous...The mother actually agreed that she didn't think it would have been on purpose, but had to ask.

So OP, don't go in all guns blazing. It's quite possible it wasn't done to be hurtful, or unkind, especially if it was in view of others.

Lilybensmum1 Sat 04-Mar-17 14:42:10

Sounds like you are doing the right thing, for perspective though my 8 yr old DD said that her teacher had shouted at her and made her cry she was devastated, and very convincing, I spoke to the teacher and he said yes he does have occasion to shout mainly at the boy but he certainly didn't shout at my DD, turns out that he was raising his voice at the whole class and my DD took it personally, I just explained to him my DD hates raised voices and has minimal experience with male teachers.

That said physical violence Is something else and If your DS is upset it needs addressing, I hope you get to the bottom of it, clearly we trust these people to care for our most precious thing so we need to know everything is okay.

Littlefish Fri 10-Mar-17 15:22:38

beckyweymouth - did you manage to resolve this?

Userone1 Fri 10-Mar-17 15:31:23

My son has autism. He also has sensory processing, as if often the case with autism. He can often misinterpret touch as harder or more painful that it actually is. Hence he often finds it difficult to understand others motivation in situations. A teacher could pat my ds's head and he would swear blind she hit him!

At home my ds is fine with touch. In school he is extremely defensive of touch.

I have no idea if your ds has sensory issues, just maybe something to bear in mind,

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