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Teacher row

(118 Posts)
Wedny1 Fri 03-Mar-17 19:12:42

My 9 year old teacher called my son a disgrace for talking in line am I being over the top but isn't that a bit harsh I've told him I'm not happy and am going to take the matter further

Scabetty Fri 03-Mar-17 19:16:30

You are being ridiculous. Why was he talking and how many times had she asked the line to be quiet?

Mumtobe12 Fri 03-Mar-17 19:18:34

As a teacher I think calling any child a disgrace is not really on.

Theimpossiblegirl Fri 03-Mar-17 19:29:31

I'd not be happy if my child didn't shut up in the line to be honest. If they complained about being told off I'd tell them to behave then. Unless it is completely unjust (not very likely) I'd leave it.

Make sure you have all the facts before you go storming in. Sometimes kids need to be told off and then take responsibility for their behaviour rather than having mummy complaining.

MollyHuaCha Fri 03-Mar-17 19:30:20

This is the reason so many teachers pack it all in - a culture of 'I'm going up to the school to give them a piece of my mind'. Sorry OP, I know you're unhappy at DC being referred to as a disgrace, I'm sure the teacher did not mean to cause great offence, but I think you should just leave it. You wd also prob find it a disgrace if the teacher didn't get any actual teaching done because all the pupils were talking over her and not listening.

(My reply is not meant unkindly, it's great you are listening to yr son. Maybe chat to him about what he could have done to avoid this situation happening in the first place?)

Wedny1 Fri 03-Mar-17 19:35:34

I'm not being ridiculous thanks very much and I agree if he was talking in line it's wrong and maybe the teacher should have said he was disappointed in he's behaviour but a disgrace?? A disgrace is someone that does something very wrong not a 9 year old boy that's talking in line !!!!

VintagePerfumista Fri 03-Mar-17 19:37:59

Have you asked the circumstances of the telling off?

I would if I were you, before going all guns-a-blazing.

You'll probably find the teacher has quite a different slant on your son's behaviour.

Wolfiefan Fri 03-Mar-17 19:39:14

I agree with Vintage.

Scabetty Fri 03-Mar-17 19:41:41

If you go in all guns blazing you will be talked about in the staffroom as more than just ridiculous. Tell your son to show some respect and to put his hands up to being wrong not run to mummy.

Scabetty Fri 03-Mar-17 19:43:29

His behaviour was disgraceful therefore he is a disgrace. Maybe he will learn from this.

LadyPenelope68 Fri 03-Mar-17 19:45:26

By 9 years old they are more than old enough to know they need to stand in line without chatting, particularly if something like going into assembly, so yes, I'd say perfectly ok to use the term disgrace.

irvineoneohone Fri 03-Mar-17 19:49:53

I feel like some people tend to respond to what teacher said or done rather than think about what their dc's behaviour was like.

I am foreign so I am not sure why the word "disgrace" is not appropriate at this instance, but if it was my ds, I would be more cross with ds to make teacher say that in the first place.

rainbowdash888 Fri 03-Mar-17 19:53:26

You should be looking at your sons behaviour not the teacher calling him a disgrace. It's a totally acceptable thing to say to a child who is behaving poorly, which your son was. I'm not sure you'll get very far with the school- they will almost certainly support their member of staff.

BigcatLittlecat Fri 03-Mar-17 19:54:22

Find the other side of the story before you go in guns blazing! It probably wasn't the first time the teacher had spoken to him on this occasion! Its parents like you that make teaching so difficult! Why would you try to undermine the teacher? I'm really interested to know.

Amaried Fri 03-Mar-17 19:56:44

Yabu
Don't think you are teaching him anything useful by not supporting the teacher.

MollyHuaCha Fri 03-Mar-17 19:57:25

There are also different ways that it could have been said:

1. Teacher v angrily singles out one child and bellows "JOHN SMITH! You are a DISGRACE, boy," <face reddens as rage builds further> "You heard me, an ABSOLUTE DISGRACE".

2. "Hey, you lads at the back!"
<teacher has raised eyebrows in attempt to drum home the point that he has asked the pupils five times already to be quiet, but John Smith keeps chatting in defiance>
"John, come on, we're waiting!"
<John ignores teachers' request and still mumbles away to friend>
"John, come on, that's not like you... you're letting down the class and being a disgrace"

jamdonut Fri 03-Mar-17 19:57:41

Did she call him a disgrace, or say his behaviour was disgraceful ?
I'd find out first, if I were you. There's not really anything wrong with the latter, and quite honestly I think it would be just a bit ridiculous to complain, even if it was the former. Do you think he's been damaged by it?

RebelRogue Fri 03-Mar-17 20:00:54

First you need to find out if 1. Those were the exact words used and 2. Were they specifically aimed at your child. If not...happy days,no problem.If yes,and this is the first time and no other issues I'd just keep it in mind for further reference in case anything else happens AND tell child off for talking in line.

mugglebumthesecond Fri 03-Mar-17 20:01:07

Ouch. I think I would be upset too as it's not the language I'd use with my own children.

However, it's probably a good thing we are not privy to all teachers' comments throughout the day. I guess managing 30 x 9 year olds you're going to get to a point when you have to be firm.

I think you do need to let this go, though it's upsetting.

Floggingmolly Fri 03-Mar-17 20:01:32

Tell him to stop talking in line. That should solve your dilemma quite nicely.

kittybiscuits Fri 03-Mar-17 20:02:26

No it's not acceptable OP.

ShouldIBuyOrShouldIGo Fri 03-Mar-17 20:03:20

Go into school on Monday and demand to see their policy. Ask for a detailed list of adjectives used by staff during verbal reprimands and veto those you feel too strong to be applied to your snowflake. Do not let your child back until this has been resolved....

kittybiscuits Fri 03-Mar-17 20:04:27

Some proper twat comments on here as well!

longdiling Fri 03-Mar-17 20:08:36

It's not a word that would particularly bother me but if it does you then fair enough. Where I think you've fucked up is telling him you're not happy with his teacher and that you'll take it further BEFORE getting the teacher's side of the events. You've successfully taught him that his mum won't allow his teacher to challenge his behaviour - not really a great lesson to teach him. Would you want the school to undermine your parenting like that?

PerspicaciaTick Fri 03-Mar-17 20:15:48

If the school community are taught not to talk when they are lining up and the rest of the school community had managed to control themselves and not talk in line, then your DS was a disgrace to the school community. He disrespected the rules, he disrespected his teacher and was presumably trying to involve one of his classmates in his poor behaviour.

He is 9 years old and is presumably well aware of the rules around lining up.

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