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Does your school support shy children to make friends?

(5 Posts)
LaserShark Tue 14-Feb-17 20:52:19

DS1 is in Year 1 and really struggling socially. He is a hardworking, eager to please little boy who is doing so well and is so positive about school except for break and lunchtimes. In the first term things were fine and he had a little group who all played together, however, the group has fragmented into pairs and he has been left on his own. He now spends breaks and lunches walking around feeling sad, apparently, and trying not to cry.

We are doing our best to encourage him to talk to other kids and initiate games or ask to join in, but he has never been able to do this - he is very keen to play with other children but he is very shy and always waits to be approached. I'm sure he can't be the only child to be like this, but it seems like the kids are pretty much left to it at breaks and lunch in a big playground/field with the whole school out at the same time so it sounds fairly overwhelming. I have talked to his teacher and been told midday supervisors will watch out for him, but that doesn't seem to be happening. I want to speak to her about any strategies that might help him to make friends, but I don't know what they would have the capacity to do really. Is there anything on your schools which helps? Or anything that anyone can recommend I can do to help him?

He goes to a drama group at the weekend which I hoped would boost his confidence and he does love. He goes to Beavers and seems to get on great there - as it's structured activities it is easy for him to get involved and for his shyness to melt away. It's just breaking my heart to see him come home from school sad every day because he feels so lonely. The school are fantastic at teaching and making great progress and recognising achievements and efforts, which is great, but I would gladly sacrifice a couple of book levels for support in developing social skills!

I work and only have one day off a week so I'm not at the school gates every day and can't do much in the way of play dates after school, which would probably help. I'm also not very adept socially which obviously exacerbates the problem!

smellyboot Tue 14-Feb-17 23:24:07

Chat to the teacher or TA. Our school are big on this and help children to play with others and teach the more outgoing children to include everyone. Lots of schools have things in place like buddy benches and playground buddies

ClarenceOddbody Wed 15-Feb-17 21:28:57

Can you talk to his teacher again OP? They might not realise it's still an issue? I do know what you mean about them having capacity to do things like this but in the end, they would want him to be happy at school, surely. He sounds like a lovely little boy btw.

LaserShark Thu 16-Feb-17 06:52:32

Thanks, I have spoken to his teacher again and she had some really good ideas and obviously genuinely cares so am feeling much better. They have just introduced a playground buddies scheme as well, which sounds great. Thanks for the replies!

ClarenceOddbody Thu 16-Feb-17 07:15:07

Oh that's good, and sounds promising. I think most primary school teachers do really care about things like that, so it was good that you mentioned it again. It's awful to think of them being sad at playtime isn't it? I was interested to hear about Beavers being good for getting him involved - something I'm looking into ATM. Good luck with it all.

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