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Child going back to nursery then repeat p1 help?!?!

(90 Posts)
user1122 Mon 06-Feb-17 15:58:29

Ok so this is a complicated one and long one!!
My little boy started school last Aug, I know in my heart he wasn't ready but listened to people around me and sent him, it's the biggest mistake ever, he is so unhappy, he has anxiety and is really struggling emotionally, his teacher is not caring and understanding, she has said it's my anxiety that's causing him to feel this way, he pleads with me everyday not to take him to school, he fakes illness, bed wets and tells me lots of things that he hates about school and the teacher is the main one!
We are moving house in 2 weeks so we thought this will be a fresh start for him and hopefully a more positive teacher and school
Unfortunately the new school has space for his older sibling but not him p1 is full, iv contacted council and nothing can be done, so they can offer a taxi to his current school but this will be extremely upsetting for him, he will struggle with the changes and getting put into a taxi with a stranger is a very scary thought!
So I spoke to current head teacher and she suggested putting him to nursery in new school and let him re start p1 in Aug, the more iv thought the more I think it would work, I have a list of pro's and cons and this is honestly what I think is best, I know it sounds crazy
So the council are telling me this hasn't been done before ,
Does anyone know where I stand with this,
Please bare in mind he has just turned 5 last week

trixymalixy Mon 06-Feb-17 16:05:34

Doesn't sound crazy to me. Just because it hasn't been done before doesn't mean it can't.

My friend deferred her DD a couple of days before she was due to start in p1. They weren't happy about it, but it was the right decision for her DD.

user1122 Mon 06-Feb-17 16:07:55

I wish I had done it then! I feel there is so much damage being done to his wellbeing right now!
I should point out we are in Scotland so not sure if it's different for England

Tomorrowillbeachicken Mon 06-Feb-17 16:47:54

If it can be done, do it. It takes just one child to do it to be a trail blazer

user1122 Mon 06-Feb-17 16:51:44

They all just keep telling me it's not been done but I find this hard to believe if I'm honest, I just want them to make a decision and stop passing the buck , I move next weekend so pressure is on!

Boiled7Up Mon 06-Feb-17 17:08:53

The problem is that it is the council's decision, not the HT's, as I believe was pointed out to you in your original thread.

The HT can be happy with it and there can be spaces, but by law a teacher must cater for your little one in his own year group.

So far into P1 I don't think you can walk away and request a re-start.

user1122 Mon 06-Feb-17 17:23:56

I understand it sounds like a weird thing to do but I have to make a change to something as when we move he will not cope with the taxi situation so he moves to surrounding school , home schooled or finishes the school year at nursery, these are my options, as he could still be at nursery I don't see this as a massive decision, I think he doesn't legally need to be in school until the Aug after he turns 5
I don't think home school would help his social anxiety and the disruption of changing schools twice would be extremely difficult for him
So not sure what I'm left with but if any of you have a better solution I'm all ears 😊👍🏻

Boiled7Up Mon 06-Feb-17 17:30:55

It doesn't matter that he could still be in nursery. You chose to send him to school.

Surely moving to a new house, going out of school and into a new nursery and then new school would be equally disruptive?

Your other options are moving them both to another school with places or keeping him at his current school with familiar carers (you? granny? grandpa?) taking him and picking him up.

Or paying for a private nursery to take him.

user1122 Mon 06-Feb-17 17:37:42

No as the new nursery has 8 kids he grew up with and familiar teachers that he knows

Boiled7Up Mon 06-Feb-17 17:41:22

That doesn't add up. Are you moving back to somewhere you left? How can you be far enough away to warrant a taxi journey to the current school?

Are there no private nurseries you can call? Childminders?

user1122 Mon 06-Feb-17 17:47:00

When the kids were younger I worked as a childminder in the next village with my mum, so as I was working we were in and out of the nursery and school they went to pre school with kids from this village,
It warrants a taxi as it's their duty to give a child a place at the school in the village they live in, as they are unable to do this they offer a taxi until a place comes available, I know it all sounds mixed up
I genuinely don't want to do any of this but feel my child is so un happy I have to take some kind of action
I know I made a mistake by sending him to school I am constantly reminded of it everyday when I take him to school crying and trying to reassure him it will be ok

Boiled7Up Mon 06-Feb-17 17:53:47


You keep saying the teacher is 'uncaring'. Be more specific. What is he struggling with?

I genuinely think you're onto a hiding to nothing trying to get a council to accept him back into their nursery for the next 4.5 months. I don't think you can see it as an option.

- Can you homeschool him? Nothing formal. Gentle sounds and numbers, following instructions, personal care.
- Can he go to a private nursery?
- Are there any childminders who could take him?

WallisFrizz Mon 06-Feb-17 17:54:41

He's a very average age for a school starter, why is he struggling so much? What is he finding so hard? You say how he is struggling but not the reasons.

Boiled7Up Mon 06-Feb-17 17:55:29

Not in Scotland Wallis. Our cut-off is February.

user1122 Mon 06-Feb-17 18:00:44

He is struggling emotionally, he has anxiety and finds school stressful as he is not in control
If he gets scared or upset at school she won't comfort him even just hold his hand,
He is scared he gets into trouble , so makes me wonder how she is reacting in class to make him feel this way, when doing homework he says she won't like this cos I'm so bad at it and I'm terrible at everything
He isn't struggling with the work but I worry this will happen if it continues
He tells me he is ill every morning , he bed wets and has nightmares
There are lots of things that worry him
It's very hard to watch your little person feel this way and I can't do anything to help
I thought going to nursery would be more beneficial than home schooling as Atleast they are teachers ?

Boiled7Up Mon 06-Feb-17 18:06:05

What do you do at home to help him? Did nursery have to put in any additional methods?

For example, would he be reassured by having a timetable and knowing exactly what is coming up? How does he find control usually?

Have other children spoken about the teacher? It is very unusual to have a dragon in infants. Most infants teachers are Miss Honeys.

FWIW, I have seen children cry for their mum every morning of p1 and brighten up as soon as mum leaves.

OhPuddleducks Mon 06-Feb-17 18:08:31

That must be really hard for you OP. I bet you're worried sick for him. But, if you send him back to nursery and then start in p1 again in aug, is it a short term solution or are you hoping he'll be fine thereafter. What happens if he doesn't like his p2 teacher? Or his p6 teacher? I think you need to weigh it up. If the problem is the teacher or you aren't sure she is being caring enough, you need to raise this with the school and ensure they are aware of how he and you feel. And if the teacher isn't taking your concerns on board or is telling you that your anxiety is disrupting him, you need to take it to a different/higher teacher. Yes, you could send him to nursery and restart in August and you may want to do that anyway, but if it were me I would want to get to the crux of what the issue is in this class, with this teacher in case history repeated itself later down the line.

user1122 Mon 06-Feb-17 18:36:42

The teacher is a dragon, she has caused a lot of controversy in the upper school so they thought this was a great idea to put her in P1 very unfortunate for the p1s as they are so small 😢

Amaried Mon 06-Feb-17 20:50:14

Honestly I'd keep him home until he starts reception in the new school again. Give him a chance to forget about the stress of his school experience so far..

littledinaco Mon 06-Feb-17 20:59:16

Agree with amaried.

tobecontinued2000 Mon 06-Feb-17 21:06:04

Are you in a position to keep him at home for the time being and home school? Does the nursery have a place for him?

user1122 Mon 06-Feb-17 22:13:40

The nursery has a place for him, I could him at home but felt if he was in nursery Atleast he was still in official education, being at home he would love but would worry he would get too comfortable with that and expect this to happen every time things get tough at school

Lucked Mon 06-Feb-17 22:19:59

What council is it? Is it the same council for both schools?

If they offer deferments, and I think all do to Jan/Feb birthdays, then they surely have to concede that there will be people who do or don't make use of that who make a mistake.

For what it is worth my boy is older than yours and will start school in August. In your situation I would push for it but be prepared for a fight.

user1122 Mon 06-Feb-17 22:27:19

It's fife council, yes same for both, push for him to be put into nursery Lucked?

FreshStart2017 Mon 06-Feb-17 22:29:41

If it was me I'd be putting my ds back into nursery and start him P1 in August, at least he'll be one of the older ones so might cope better.

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