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What do I make of this report?

(27 Posts)
m0therofdragons Sat 04-Feb-17 12:01:21

Dd1 is year 4 and as usual her report shows she's achieving above national expectations across all subject. Clearly that's great.

However, in behaviour she is below expectations for working with staff / other dc / attitude and behaviour. Previous reports have always be exceeding in these areas and I can't see how this has changed as they've not raised it with us and dc is the most amenable dc ever, she just does what I ask with no back chat and is really good (I have 3 dc and dd2&3 are far less agreeable so I don't think I'm using rose tinted glasses). Dh and I complained about the teacher last term but not in an aggressive way just a "we're a bit unhappy about ..." approach. Teacher seems to now hate us and refuses eye contact at pick up. It feels like this report is more about dh and I annoying him than anything dd has done.

Dd also was chosen as one of 4 dc in the school for an activity in Dec as she was a "role model" for behaviour.

I'm completely lost where to go with this. I never teacher bash but I'm struggling with this guy.

MissClarke86 Sat 04-Feb-17 12:04:03

I'd ignore it unless they approach you with specific issues, and hope for s teacher you have a better relationship with in September.

It could be low level stuff like talking when she shouldn't be etc.

What were your concerns about the teacher?

Allthebestnamesareused Sat 04-Feb-17 12:11:20

If your daughter has picked up on your and DH's displeasure with the teacher (perhaps if you have discussed it at home without even realising she is hearing) maybe she is playing him up a bit as she realises that she may get away with it a bit more because the teacher will get the blame?

Again nothing serious behaviour, maybe just chatting or answering back. You have already assumed by your OP that is possibly teacher at fault rather than child (although you do accept you may be wrong).

Perhaps just a quick word with the teacher could sort out what is actually happening. My otherwise "perfect" child went through a little rebellion in year 9 but has settled back into my nice again (phew!)

TheTroubleWithAngels Sat 04-Feb-17 12:13:35

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

m0therofdragons Sat 04-Feb-17 12:15:15

I approached school in the summer - dd is an anxious dc with high standards for herself but she'd become emotionally closed off from me and I was a bit worried. I asked if school, with their experience had any ideas. They came up with really helpful advice which we agreed I'd do at home and they'd follow through at school. Not big intervention just little things. Dd's new teacher met with me and head told him what the plan was. Teacher immediately said he didn't really get that part of the book and thought there were better ways. Head said, let's try this and see first.
I did everything at home and dd is happy, growing in confidence, our relationship is strong - she comes to me when worried now. Teacher has ignored plan and treated her like Sen. It feels like me saying she was struggling emotionally has led him to jump to she's autistic. She's not. It's really frustrating.

m0therofdragons Sat 04-Feb-17 12:17:15

Dd had no idea I was meeting with the school. If her behaviour has dropped significantly (which report suggests) why pick her as a role model and why wait until report to raise that? It's very mixed messaging.

abbsisspartacus Sat 04-Feb-17 12:18:28

For primary school I would just ride it out they change teachers every year anyway

m0therofdragons Sat 04-Feb-17 12:21:05

Thank you, I think that's really good advice. We're not going to change teacher's methods. I'm just worried he's actually doing more harm.

Nemesia Sat 04-Feb-17 12:24:39

Usually soon after we get a report there is a parents evening and a chance to raise concerns with the teacher, is this a possibility?

MrsKCastle Sat 04-Feb-17 12:24:49

I would ask to meet with the teacher. Approach it by saying that you see from the report that there are concerns and you'd really like to know more in order to better support both your DD and the school. I agree that if a child has gone from always being well behaved and a 'role model's to 'below expectations' then the teacher really should have contacted you previously. Could it be an error? Was it a tick in a box or were there personalised comments about her behaviour?

cansu Sat 04-Feb-17 12:26:41

It is probably that your dd is chatting and not as focused as other dc. Children do change. Dc can still be lovely and generally well behaved but chat and lack focus ay same time. With increased confidence your dd is more likely to do this. The adult way to react is to admit that teacher who sees your dd all day is giving you useful info. You say teacher is reacting based on your complaint. Isnt that what you are doing?

m0therofdragons Sat 04-Feb-17 12:39:36

I do feel I'm clouded by my low opinion if the teacher so it's helpful to read some voices of reason.
I absolutely get dc change but from the week before Christmas being 1 of 4 from 500 kids to be a role model to this in January with no issues raised is confusing. Report is number coded so no comment. Parents eve is Thursday.

Focusing on the real issue for me. If dd has moved from 4 (top) to a 2 in behaviour and attitude in the space of 4 weeks, shouldn't the school have called us in? You don't wait for an employee's appraisal to tell them they doing something wrong.

cansu Sat 04-Feb-17 12:50:05

Your dd was chosen tp do something as she was seen as beong a good role model. I am guessing she was chosen by head or someone. The head will not really know who is listening well and gettong on with their work. They will only know if your dd is a complete nightmare. I think you probably have a chatty dd here. Not a nightmare of course. You may also have a teacher who is stricter than the last one. Personally I would go to parents eve and just ask why she got the 2. Is it too much chatting? Whst is the issue? If you go on thr defensive with the role model thing you will just aggravate the teacher and show ultimately that you dont believe him.

lljkk Sat 04-Feb-17 12:53:08

Your DD has NEVER heard you say a critical or frustrated word about her teacher? Not one?

TheTroubleWithAngels Sat 04-Feb-17 13:00:25

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

m0therofdragons Sat 04-Feb-17 13:09:40

I'm just confused by mixed messages in the context of my summer concerns. It was the teacher who chose her and he gave the reasons himself in a conversation as I had to give permission for her to go off site. Really I'm just using that as evidence that I'm not a parent who believes dc is an angel based on nothing.
Other 2 dc are lovely but very lively and loud (unlike studious dd1) and they both have "exceeding behaviour" so clearly it's not and exact science grin

m0therofdragons Sat 04-Feb-17 13:13:05

I'm not an anxious person in general but I am currently very worried about dd and wish I'd never said anything in the summer.

I've been extremely careful not to let on to dd my opinions of her teacher. I realise how unhelpful that would be and I wouldn't undermine him through my dc.

jamdonut Sat 04-Feb-17 13:13:21

At our school, ' 2 ' for our children is 'as expected', but not beyond. '1' is ' goes that extra bit further', '3' is 'doesn't always' and '4' is " un-cooperative"

Or ,just maybe ,it's a mistake? These things happen sometimes. And it's always to be people you really wish it hadn't!

Floggingmolly Sat 04-Feb-17 13:13:54

How exactly does he "treat her as if she's autistic"??? That's a hell of a claim to make...

TheTroubleWithAngels Sat 04-Feb-17 13:19:00

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BertPuttocks Sat 04-Feb-17 13:37:01

I have 2 children with autism and 2 who don't.

One thing I've learned over the years is that sometimes the techniques that work for a child with autism can be equally beneficial for a child who doesn't have it. If a child has problems with anxiety, those techniques can often really help them. Things like giving advance notice of what's coming up, keeping instructions very simple, and supporting them in communicating and working with others can all be very effective.

Expectations start to really ramp up in Yr3 and Yr4, so this is often when children who previously blended in well suddenly start to stand out a bit more.

Children will be expected to work independently much more, which is where a child who is used to being told what to do and then complying can become unstuck. They will also be expected to work well as a group, which can cause problems with a child who prefers to sit quietly and do their own work without having to interact too much with their classmates.

I really wouldn't assume that it's the teacher doing this deliberately. I would ask for a separate appointment to discuss things in detail as a parents evening appointment won't be the right environment for this.

Dixiechickonhols Sat 04-Feb-17 16:51:30

I wouldn't ignore I'd ask to meet with teacher to discuss. You are concerned as dd has been above excellent for effort for 4 yrs and is now below. Why has teacher graded her that way - concrete examples so you know what she needs to work on. I'd be worried something was going on. May be clash with teacher, could she be being bullied eg called for being keen and eager in class so has stopped. Something simple like Sitting next to a friend so chatting. I'd also ask teacher to update in a few weeks.

m0therofdragons Sat 04-Feb-17 18:44:59

4 is exceeds
3 is meets
2 is below expectations
1 is serious concerns

If parents evening isn't the place to discuss the report given a few days before then what is the point confused

Treats her like she's autistic - has put in unsubtle strategies which make her stand out as different in the class. Hard to explain without specifics and that would be too outing.

BertPuttocks Sat 04-Feb-17 22:02:31

"If parents evening isn't the place to discuss the report given a few days before then what is the point"

Depending on your school's system, it might not be the best environment for a confidential discussion about behaviour. At ours, for example, other parents are only a few feet away and sometimes it's hard not to overhear.

The other barrier to a proper discussion is time. If a teacher has only 3 hours to speak to 30 sets of parents, that leaves about 5 minutes for each child. It's often recommended that you bring up the issue at the parents' evening and then ask if you can make an appointment for a different day to discuss it fully.

lougle Sat 04-Feb-17 22:19:18

Perhaps she's performing below expectations for her usual behaviour rather than below general expectations?

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