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Going to a joint birthday party

(16 Posts)
Autumnsky Fri 27-Jan-17 12:48:24

DS2 get invited to a birthday party by a child, however, it is a joint party for 3 children. He knows all 3 children, which are in his year group. But he only invited by 1 child, the other 2 don't normally invite him in the past. Do you buy presents for all 3 children?

irvineoneohone Fri 27-Jan-17 12:55:32

My ds has been to few joint parties.
He bought present for both of them when the children are in the same class, though he was invited by one child and not particularly friendly with other ones.
Other cases, even though the child was in same year group, when he didn't know them personally, we didn't get a present for them.

Ginmummy1 Fri 27-Jan-17 13:02:47

I'd be inclined to ask for clarification from the parent of the child that invited him.

Autumnsky Fri 27-Jan-17 13:07:28

At first, I think it is a joint party for 2, I think I will buy another child a present, as I do speak with that child's mum sometimes(although DS2 doesn't play with him that much). Then I find out it is for 3 children, one child's mum I only say hello to. So I feel a bit, well reluctant to buy for all 3 children. But they are all in his school and the same year, so he knows them all.

LittleBoat Fri 27-Jan-17 13:08:59

I think you should buy for all three.

Twistmeandturnme Fri 27-Jan-17 13:10:41

gift for the child who invited your DS. token gift for other two.

LizzieMacQueen Fri 27-Jan-17 13:11:31

There was a thread recently about a joint party for 3. 2 were twins.

Most posters said they'd be happy with just buying for one child.

The point of the thread was to ask how the hosts should split the costs but posters were commenting about the gift aspect.

Sounds like he's been invited by one child therefore I'd buy that one child a gift.

Autumnsky Fri 27-Jan-17 13:23:52

Yes, DS2 is invited only by one child. As we always invite this child to ours and be invited to this child's party. This is the first time this child is holding a joint party with the other 2 children. The problem here is the other 2 children DS2 knows. I am a bit reluctant to buy 3, but I may also feel bad that DS2 only hand out 1 present and ignore the other 2 children.

DS has been to other joint party by twins, we always buy 2 present.

Tomorrowillbeachicken Fri 27-Jan-17 13:54:39

I'd buy one larger and two token.

petitdonkey Fri 27-Jan-17 13:59:50

I would buy a gift at your usual budget for his friend and then just a token for the other two. We once hosted a party for DS and two of his other friends but we said on the invitation 'please don't bring gifts for all three children, this is just a lovely chance to invite the whole year group to a party'.
As it was, unbeknown to me, one of the lovely mums suggested a collection which they then split between the three children and they got £50 and some sweeties each - unexpected but very thoughtful. As far as I know, the people who contributed put 5-10 in the pot. (year group of 53 children and we invited them all to a swimming party)

Floggingmolly Fri 27-Jan-17 14:04:11

If the invitation is from just one child, they'll have divided the guest list between all three children (i.e. ten children each) so you'll be fine to buy for the named child. That's what all the others will be doing.
(In practice; I'd give the other two something very small, but it's not strictly necessary)

Mary21 Fri 27-Jan-17 14:18:41

We held a joint 5th birthday for 3 back in the day and put on the invite please only bring one present. Then as they were all boys split them evenly. 10 each. Couldn't,t contemplate ds getting 30 gifts!

Autumnsky Fri 27-Jan-17 14:23:23

Thanks for all the advice.

smellyboot Fri 27-Jan-17 17:21:21

Ask the parents. At our school the norm for joint parties is to only buy one present and they share them out.
No one really wants 30 presents from a class party. Its too much.
Some times one child invites half and so does the other.
Some times the invite says 'pls come to X&Y joint party but please do not buy a present for both; one is plenty if you wish'

AmeliaJack Fri 27-Jan-17 17:26:34

I have twins and when we have joint parties we specifically word the invitations to limit the number of presents, so for example:

"Amelia invites you to Amelia and Jack's 9th birthday party"

I'd hope that you would only bring a present for Amelia.

If you aren't sure just wrap up a box of Malteasers for the other two children.

Oriunda Sat 28-Jan-17 09:59:05

Hosting a joint party with another boy - 50 invitations have gone out. Do not want 50 presents! Usually for the all class parties we suggest only one gift per attendee - or £5 in an envelope which the boys will split and choose something. My son's other friends are getting invite from my son only. I usually don't buy the other joint party giver a gift if we don't know them.

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