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Advice please my 6 year was grabbed by school helper

(5 Posts)
Cadca13 Wed 25-Jan-17 13:18:23

My child was grabbed by her jacket and told off shouted in her face at school by a playground helper, they had been playing previous to the bell ringing with friends no one was hurt or told on my child as they do play pretend cops and robbers or superheroes and pretend they are using they're powers to catch the bad guys so arms and legs are in the air I've spoke to the other kids parents to make sure this was the case and it was, so my child standing in line now and out the blue the helper approaches them grabs the shoulder of there jacket and pulls them forward and shouts in there face stop the kicking and punching and walks away now my child goes into class crying but to scared to tell the teacher incase they get another telling off! Thankfully not to scared to tell me after school they had a bad day at school and I find out this has happened, so following day I go to the school to let them know and get to the bottom of it, school assured me that's not protocol and will speak to staff etc but after being spoken to the helper takes my child to the side and asks what they had said to mum and dad then tells my child that they wouldn't grab maybe tap and demonstrates tapping then saying I wasn't at your line yesterday my child came home upset again from school. I been told today from the school that the helper has said that it didn't happen but not just my child said they grabbed them by the jacket they're friend seen it happen too! Am not sure how and what to do now! Just want to say am not against my child being told off if they have done wrong also they have never had any trouble of issues before

admission Wed 25-Jan-17 14:39:03

The fact that the "helper" has approached your daughter the next day means that the school have done something, which is good news. What is not good news is the fact that the helper has approached your daughter again and obviously that is unacceptable. I would put in writing to the school that whilst you are glad that the school has obviously taken some action that the helper has approached your daughter again. Hopefully the school will see this for what it is, an attempt to bully your daughter and take appropriate action.
You do need to be sure that this second approach did happen before you inform school.

MyschoolMyrules Wed 25-Jan-17 14:47:36

Is this a parent helper or a teaching assistant?

This is a 6 year old we are talking about?

In your shoes, I would take the words of a six year old with a pinch of salt. Maybe the helper had asked your daughter repeatedly to stop, or maybe your child was about to hurt another child, maybe other children were getting upset by her behaviour. If a child is acting in a way that may hurt other children I wouldn't be surprised if he/she would be told to stop in a way that protests the other children. Sorry I know it's not a popular opinion, but I think that children'/s behaviour has to be managed.

catkind Wed 25-Jan-17 16:17:07

Myschool, you're making some wild assumptions there in the hope of excusing the helper, not really tallying with the story so far for me. I think OP has enough reason to question what she's been told that I'd want to check into it further. And bollocks to behaviour management being an unpopular opinion, the idea that grabbing and shouting at kids is the way to manage behaviour I would hope to be unpopular though, rightly so.

OP, maybe speak to the teacher again, say what you were told yesterday isn't quite adding up and could they look into it further. Ask what the helper says did happen exactly. (Child's story, adult's story and what you know of child will often make all become clear.) Tell them which other children saw the incident if you know. Tell them what your DC said about being approached today.

I'd be tempted to put it in writing at this point, can't quite put my finger on why. Child alleges something, adult says she didn't do it, adult tries to convince child she didn't do it, end of story- doesn't quite sit right to me?

teachassist Fri 27-Jan-17 13:02:26

First of all i hope your child is okay, seems like the school helper has had a bad day and took it out on your child, shocking behavior an adult bullying a 6 year old.

If your child has came home and told you they have been grabbed by a school helper, then, explained to you what has happened re:- school helper physically grabbing them and shouting in their face ( very distressing for a child) then surely the school has taken appropriate measures to ensure the safety of your child until further inquiries are carried out. If the school helper approached your child after the teacher has spoken to her, then had to take your child aside and demonstrate to your child what she would have done, tapping them and then say she wasn't in there line,
WHY was this allowed by the school? thats surely your child getting intimidated by this person again.
Think the school needs to be investigated if they allow this behavior to go on, surely there should be some sort of report to the education authorities to decide the appropriate action against this person.
Or even the police as your child was physically grabbed by an adult.

Your child has told you what has happened to them if they had did anything wrong they might not have mentioned it to you, they have now told you about a 2nd incident that has happened with this same helper , they also have a witness for the first incident . The teacher should have reported this to the Head of the school.

This helper should not be working with children,.

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