teacher being off with me

[weluvu]

when my son started year 1 his behaviour went downhill, so much so that for the past few months he's had to sit on his own in some lessons, has been sent to the head and I have had his teacher coming out of school every night telling me what he'd done, what he'd said etc etc...

In the end I told her I would make a point of asking how he'd been everynight afterschool so that I can talk to him about it straight away (rather than a few days down the line!).

Anyway, I did this and every night she was willing to report back to me and talk about it, this week however he's been quite good and everytime I walk over to her she seems really off with me, pretends she doesnt know why I've gone across (for instance when I ask how he's been she pretends she thinks I mean healthwise??!) and almost visibly sighs when she see's that I want to ask her about his day.

All this week she's just said "yeah he's been ok" and walked off and yesterday she almost snapped at me and said "yes he's been fine today" and again walked off.

Am I in the wrong to keep asking?? or does he only deserve recognition when he's naughty?

[NineUnlikelyTales]

Hi

I wonder whether you agreed together that this was going to be your approach (asking every day), or whether you 'told' the teacher this was what you were going to do? Because if it was the latter, I can understand her resentment (imagine if 30 parents needed telling at the end of the day that their DC had been 'fine'). Though she does seem to be showing her resentment in a bit of a childish manner, from what you say!

Perhaps you need to revisit the arrangement?

BTW it sounds like your son is making progress, if there has been nothing to report this week!

[Tortington]

i would just say firmly " i think we are at crossed communication, i was under the misaprehension that you wanted to give me a balanced view - after we agreed you would take the time to speak to me when xx was being naughty, if you only want to complain to me when he's naughty, i think we should re-work how we communicate, becuase only hearing one side can lead to a one sided view. As a good parent i obviously want the full picture. you BITCH"

leave the ast bit out

[ProfessorGrammaticus]

Maybe ask a bit less? As NUT says, she can't do this for 30 children. Try asking once or twice a week?

[RedLorryYellowLorry]

Ask her if she wants you to continue with this daily or perhaps on a weekly basis. Rewards for good behaviour are given in the class at dd's school - star chart etc.

[Tortington]

granted but she agreed to this format. and can't get all shitty with parent now the kidsbeing good and she can't report bad stuff.

[weluvu]

Another thing that bugs me too, he's been in this class since last september and has had NO good work slips (usually given to a child at least once every 2 weeks), no special achievement assemblys (usually rotates around the class so at least every child gets a turn to stand up in assembly with parents watching) even though other 'bad' kids have been given assemblys for stupid stuff like "remembering their PE kit" or "getting to school on time".

The teacher even said to me on Monday that my son had produced some particulary lovely work on monday morning...so why no good work slip?

No wonder he's playing up, I would too if there was no point in being good, he's only 6...

[PussyWillow]

I think you need to sit down with her again for a proper meeting and revisit everything now he ios getting on so much better. It may be that she is so used to thinking ofhim as the 'bad boy' that she has not thought about giving him reocgnition, and needs reminding.

And maybe now he is being good you can restrict it to weekly, and maybe do it on Friday to tie it in with something special he can have at home at the weekend?

Interstingly very shortly after I mentioned to my dd's teacher that she had worked really hard but had not recevied anything when most children had had at least 2, and didn't understand what she was doing wrong, she receveid an 'award'!

[coppertop]

I would speak to the teacher again and ask if your ds' behaviour still needs close monitoring. If yes then suggest a home/school book so that she can write a quick note about anything relevant that has happened, and you in turn can add comments. It saves having to speak to her every day and also gives you a useful written record of what has been happening.