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Need advise on 4yr school problem

(21 Posts)
user1122 Thu 12-Jan-17 11:19:29

So my 4 yr old son started school last aug, he is a very quiet sensitive little boy who has anxiety and hates change, he doesn't like many adults , he hates school and says his teacher is a horrible lady, I feel the same way about her, she is inconsistent and can be lovely and caring (in a very false way ) then next day very snippy, so we are moving house and this has been a big part of our decision, we are moving to a village where my son has friends and knows lots of people, only problem is....the school doesn't have space to take him until aug, what should I do now? They have offered to taxi him to his current school until summer but I don't find this suitable for an anxious 4 yr old putting him in a car with stranger and taking him to this teacher he clearly hates , do I have any other options ?????

cantkeepawayforever Thu 12-Jan-17 11:30:05

When is he 5? And are you in England? (Comment about starting in August makes me think not).

If he is not 5 until the summer term, then in England he does not legally have to start school until the Autumn term anyway (although he may well have to go into year 1 at that point, because having already done a term in school it is unlikely to be possible to use the flexibility that is beguinning to exist - more in some places than others - for summer born children to start reception a year late). You can therefore send him to e.g. nursery, or keep him at home, until next school year.

Or, whatever age he is, you can choose temporary home-schooling, whereby you educate him at home until August. All you need to do for that is to send a formal letter to his current school stating that you are de-registering him.

Other countries vary in their approach to home schooling and age cutoffs for different years. Worth checking out local rules.

tiggytape Thu 12-Jan-17 11:31:28

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

user1122 Thu 12-Jan-17 11:32:44

I'm in Scotland , he has been in school since aug but I feel he wasn't fully ready but I had the choice and thought it was for the best, worst decision!

user1122 Thu 12-Jan-17 11:38:02

I understand it sounds trivial that he doesn't like his teacher, but I feel it's affecting him in relation to his anxiety, he worries about everything and she makes this worse! I don't feel speaking to the school helps as they side with her and in reality what would I expect them to do, I understand this, we are moving anyway but the thought of him having to be there for another 6 months is so hard, it's very hard going dragging him in crying every day!

cantkeepawayforever Thu 12-Jan-17 11:41:09

I'm not an expert on Scottish admissions, but i thought that they had to admit anyone in the catchment? Is what you mean that they have promised a P1 place in August, with the next intake, once he lives in the catchment?

^"Right to send your child to your local designated school

If you move house in the middle of your child's schooling into an area where the local school is very popular, you may find that the school is already full. In those circumstances, you may have to wait until someone else moves out and there is a place for your child. The Council will arrange for him or her to attend a different school in the meantime.

So, if you know that you are going to be moving into a school's area you should let the Council responsible for the school know as soon as possible.

Councils can reserve places in schools in anticipation of children who may move into the catchment area of the school during the school year. They must consider the overall demand for places at the school, and can only keep empty the number of places that they consider are reasonably required for pupils likely to move into the catchment area in the period up to and including the forthcoming year.

However, it is not always possible for a Council to keep places in a school empty for incomers."^

Or is what you are saying is that the new village school is full, and that no places have been held open for incomers, so the Council is suggesting a taxi back to the original school until a place becomes available? Why do they know one will be available in August? Will it be in P1 or P2? can the Council find you a place in another school - perhaps closer to the new village?

cantkeepawayforever Thu 12-Jan-17 11:43:15

Italics fail, sorry!

user1122 Thu 12-Jan-17 11:50:22

Yes he is in p1 and the new school is full and Can't take anymore pupils but can guarantee a place in Aug as the ratio changes then apparently, iv spoke to my local council and they say there's no way they can do anything so iv accepted he isn't getting in until Aug but now the problem is what do I do now? He would be seriously uncomfortable and upset if I put him in a taxi with a stranger and they dropped him off as he is only 4 I walk to his door and wait in the line with him, a taxi driver wouldn't do this, or I quit my job and take him there and collect him every day until the summer , I take him out of school completely and home school until aug or put him in a nearby school same taxi issue and disruption of starting a new school twice! He is so shy and quiet this is all too much for him I don't know what's best 😢

cantkeepawayforever Thu 12-Jan-17 12:20:03

Is the place for August in P1 or P2?

If for P1 (since I presume you had the normal option to defer, given that it's Scotland) could he go back to nursery?

Is there any turnover in the village school? Presumably if someone leaves he could start there earlier?

Note that in Scotland, because he has attended a council school, you will normally need the local authority's consent to withdraw him for home education.


cantkeepawayforever Thu 12-Jan-17 12:21:05

Have you discussed the option of 'belatedly deferring' and thus starting him again in P1 in August? i don't know if that option exists, but it might give you a little more flexibility.

Tomorrowillbeachicken Thu 12-Jan-17 12:50:55

I'd probably remove him and home school temporarily tbh.

user1122 Thu 12-Jan-17 13:06:51

That's what I think would help him best at the moment but his dad doesn't agree n thinks that's not an option , I know how hard life is for him and just want to make him happier, why is it so hard 😔

BenefitsQuestions Thu 12-Jan-17 13:09:58

You should put him into nursery now and then P1 in August 2017. You absolutely cannot drag the poor little thing in every day screaming.

My heart breaks for your boy. Please refer him and keep him home now or nursery now and do P1 in 8 months time. He will be SO much more ready.

These first impressions now will be hard to shake off if you keep dragging
Him there when he doesn't legally need to go.

user1122 Thu 12-Jan-17 13:32:46

But he has been in school since Aug, I can't just decide now ? I had the choice and I chose to send him to school, I know now it was the wrong choice, I don't even know if I can take him out, it would only be until the school in his catchment has the space

Tomorrowillbeachicken Thu 12-Jan-17 13:39:44

I'd worry more about the psychological damage of forcing him to go in when he was screaming and visably upset than the short time he was homeschooled tbh.
Lots of children are homeschooled for short terms and then return later. What is his fathers issue with it?

LunaLoveg00d Thu 12-Jan-17 13:42:15

If he's not happy then agree with the others- back into nursery and then P1 in August as one of the older ones. If he's still 4, then this should not be an issue regarding funding.

user1122 Thu 12-Jan-17 13:53:30

His dad just doesn't agree but he can't see the constant upset and stress everyday as he works away, how do you even go about taking your child out of school? This is all new to me

Tomorrowillbeachicken Thu 12-Jan-17 13:54:55

Try here:

Autumnsky Thu 12-Jan-17 14:06:04

How about go back to his previous nursery for a few months? Or you can apply to work part time, then let him go to the preschool playgroup in the village.

Mary21 Thu 12-Jan-17 15:46:38

I would also think home educating till August would be the best idea. Maybe even longer if it works

BenefitsQuestions Thu 12-Jan-17 23:05:28

Sod his dad. The damage being done here could be horrific. Just go back to the nursery and say you want to put him in and ask them to help you apply for the deferred place. They'll know what to do.

Or homeschool or ANYTHING but please stop dragging him to school in this state.

It isn't a case of "you made your choice now he has to live with it" he's still under compulsory school age and in Scotland deferring is really bloody common.

Please don't betray your sons trust. You're his safe adult who's meant to look out for him. You're his voice. You're his protector so stop stabbing him in the back.

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