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Is this normal?

(14 Posts)
BabyHaribo Thu 22-Dec-16 07:56:34

Is it normal for a reception aged child to often play on their own? DS says he does play with others and lists names but often says he on his own - which he says he doesn't mind but makes me feel sad!

Would any of these other things worry you;
Finds change really hard
Scared of anything unknown e.g. Films/books so we have to watch same films not new ones
Very texture sensitive with food
'Shy' and slow to interact around his peers
Can have massive tantrums that he finds really hard to recover from (but generally only when tired and only at home)

irvineoneohone Thu 22-Dec-16 08:08:59

Do you have any concern? some of the things you mention maybe a indication for autism/asd spectrum.
The list applies to my ds, except for scared of unknown, it's more like he just wants to watch same thing again and again because he loves it in ds' case, and he doesn't find changes difficult.
My ds is very able and has some asd traits, possibly on specutrum, but not diagnosed. Lots of social problems earlier, but getting a lot better these days(YR4).

SpaghettiMeatballs Thu 22-Dec-16 08:19:37

I think you need to distinguish between 'plays alone all day; everyday' and 'plays alone for 10 minutes'.

The former may be concerning and the later isn't a bad life skill to have.

DD said similar so I asked the teacher at parent's evening who said that she hadn't noticed DD playing along for significant periods and that DD was sociable with lots of friends. Made me feel a lot better!

Have you mentioned this to the staff to get their perspective?

spanieleyes Thu 22-Dec-16 08:19:49

One of the first stages of play is "play alongside others", playing with others is a further step. so this may simply be the developmental stage appropriate for your son. Alternatively it MAY be an indication of some asd traits. Have a word with the school or your health visitor to see if they have any concerns and if any further steps are appropriate.

nat73 Thu 22-Dec-16 10:56:21

If you are concerned I would ask the teacher. DS is at pre-school. If I ask him who he plays with he will say no one and give me a list of children he does not like! And yet the teacher tells me he plays with all the children and gets stuck in. When I get there he is always playing with others.

For the repetitive TV my 6 year old always gets cheesed off if I suggest a film she has not seen before and DS who is 3 always wants to read the same books. So this would not worry me.

But both are not shy or slow to interact. I would talk to the teacher and if you are still concerned the HV. How was your son at nursery?

BabyHaribo Thu 22-Dec-16 13:20:46

He was at nursery for two years and never really made any friends. He didn't really interact with the other children at all probably until his last couple of terms and then it was limited.

The preschool were not concerned at all although they did try to help with social interaction they didn't think there were any bigger issues.

He's bright and interacts and plays well with his sister.

With the tv/films it's not so much the repetitive nature that bothers me it's the fact that anything new is scary, any new monsters/baddies are scary (I'm only taking Disney etc)

Blossomdeary Thu 22-Dec-16 13:24:19

If he is reception age, it is entirely normal to be scared by some things on film. My DGS aged 7 hates Peter Rabbit - scared stiff of Mr. McGregor!

BabyHaribo Thu 22-Dec-16 13:26:40

Haha DS Is terrified of Mr McGregor!

irvineoneohone Thu 22-Dec-16 13:39:10

When my ds started nursery, and didn't interact with other children, I asked the teacher if they think if he has some sen. They were surprised that I was so accepting and willing to find out. They referred us to lots of helpful things and I took all their advice.
In the end, he wasn't diagnosed with anything(still has some traits, so not completely out of woods yet), but focusing on social interaction from early helped him a lot.
He does have meltdowns and tantrums at home, still has issues with food texture, extreme phobia etc., but he looks totally normal on the surface at school.

user1471446433 Thu 22-Dec-16 13:41:28

My 7 yr old was scared of Winnie the pooh confused
Sounds normal to me!

TwentyChews Fri 23-Dec-16 21:44:56

My DD was about 8 before she could bare to watch the likes of Disney's Cinderella and Sleeping Beauty. The suspense building music in particular would send her into a tizzy of fear and she would have to leave the room.

She is bright, sensitive and confident - still a bit goosy about some "scary" stuff at 10yo.

So the film thing would not worry me.

At reception age she could also say she had played with "no-one" - which as PP could mean no-one for 2 mintues at the end of play or for the whole of play. She has oodles of friends now.

What they describe as happening at school can be far from the whole reality iyswim.

But - you are concerned - so yes - as PP have said have a low-level chat with the teacher - they will be able to either reassure you/keep any eye open or discuss further with you.

nat73 Fri 23-Dec-16 23:36:15

My kids are also scared by definitely non scarey Disney stuff! I wouldn't worry about it. The fact he interacts well with his sister is good but I would be concerned if he didn't really interact with the others at nursery? Talk to the teacher and they may well put your mind at rest...

Crumbs1 Fri 23-Dec-16 23:53:17

Sounds perfectly ok to me. Little ones often play alongside rather than with peers.
Lots of boys find change hard to deal with.
Mine watched same films over and over.
In fact, you could be writing about my boys. One had a massive tantrum because a crisp packet was opened the wrong way. They had to have their cars in set lines in the bedroom.
One is, as a young adult, a bit too sociable and I sometimes wake up to find assorted young men in my kitchen or asleep in the spare bedrooms. All very polite but all with atrocious hangovers. He turns up with half a dozen 'lads' for Sunday lunch. He has no problem with girls either and I often have them call me to find when he is next home.
The other is a more gentle young man but has very good social skills -fewer friends but more committed to relationships. In fairness his job is more settled and he is a couple of years older.

BackforGood Fri 23-Dec-16 23:55:19

I would definitely talk with the school staff - your ds reporting on playing alone, or playing with x, y, and z, might present a very different picture from what they see.
I don't think there is anything strange in liking to watch the same films / TV progs and read thee same books over and over.
However, your list of concerns may indicate something worth looking into further.
Explain to his teacher that both you and Nursery have observed that he tends to play alongside rather than with others, and you were wondering if they had noticed, or if they had any concerns about it.

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