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Crap - I've just become THAT parent

(40 Posts)
Uhohimintrouble Wed 21-Dec-16 20:00:14

NC due to specifics
Help me fix this please. I've just had my comment deleted off the class messenger system by the head.
I wasn't rude or abusive or anything.
Obviously will book a meeting and speak to her.
Will I be that parent forever? Will dd suffer as a result?? Can I say I'm unhappy at her censorship??

IfartInYourGeneralDirection Wed 21-Dec-16 20:01:40

Might need some more detail

RockStonePebble Wed 21-Dec-16 20:01:56

Depends entirely on what you said.

Uhohimintrouble Wed 21-Dec-16 20:10:00

She was apologising for the way parents were informed about a change due to concerned parents approaching her in playground but rest assured she always made decisions with the children's best interests at heart.
I said when were we informed about this because I knew nothing, (had to ask 5 year old dd) and she could add me to the concerned parents list as I wasn't sure how moving an experienced ta who knows the school & the kids to another class & leaving dd's class with a brand new graduate as a ta as well as a brand new teacher in January was in my child's best interests.

TweeBee Wed 21-Dec-16 20:11:50

Will the teacher and TA you refer to have been able to see the message? I would imagine it wouldn't be nice for them to see that and to know that everyone else on the message group had seen it too.

Costacoffeeplease Wed 21-Dec-16 20:14:04

That doesn't sound like something you should have put on an open group messenger system - is that what it was?

Crumbs1 Wed 21-Dec-16 20:15:18

I think you have indeed become THAT parent. How the head deploys the staff is for the head to decide not the parents. Schools aren't run by playground committee and you have no idea (or right) to know the reasoning behind the decision. It might have been better to send a note home about a different teacher but even that isn't a right and they are busy this time of year. It might well be in best interests of a larger number of children rather than your little poppet alone.

SusanTrinder Wed 21-Dec-16 20:15:43

I think you were rude.

How do you know that the new teacher and TA aren't the dog's bollocks?

You've basically said that you're shunning the Head's apology and are happy to publicly undermine him/her.

Your kids will be fine though, parents and pupils are entirely separate beings.

sooperdooper Wed 21-Dec-16 20:16:44

You should've sent that as private message, not there for the TA and teacher concerned to read, and also the head was probably trying to stop others piling in on a big discussion

SausageD0g Wed 21-Dec-16 20:17:04

That was rude.

Heirhelp Wed 21-Dec-16 20:17:28

I agree that does not sound like an appropriate thing to put in a public message board. It is entirely up the headteacher to place staff as s/he sees fit in their professional opinion. If you are unable with something you should contact the head teacher directly.

ineedamoreadultieradult Wed 21-Dec-16 20:17:46

You chose an inappropriate forum to air your views that is why it was deleted and you don't get to make staffing decisions. I'm not surprised it was removed.

monkeywithacowface Wed 21-Dec-16 20:19:20

Yup you're "that" parent! You should have approached her in person, a schools parent forum isn't the place to question her management decisions.

NerrSnerr Wed 21-Dec-16 20:20:46

That was rude. It's the head teacher's job to decide who covers what year and knows the skills of the staff. I'm sure you know better than the professionals though.

DixieWishbone Wed 21-Dec-16 20:21:48

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RockStonePebble Wed 21-Dec-16 20:22:33

Surely you can see that it was inappropriate to make such a comment on an open forum?

You know nothing about this TA or NQT and have basically said that the decision the head has made is not good enough for your PFB. You are indeed THAT parent.

Uhohimintrouble Wed 21-Dec-16 20:22:44

Hmmm it's only a class messenger system so just the people in the class I think but maybe you're right and it was inappropriate.
So am I going to be that parent forever then???

RandomDent Wed 21-Dec-16 20:23:44

I'm afraid you have.

You can fix it though. Use your meeting time to apologise to the head and assure them that you trust their decisions on deployment of staff.

NiceFalafels Wed 21-Dec-16 20:25:13

YoU were probably just voicing what many parents were thinking. However she's only 5. It's not like she's doing A levels with an inexperienced teacher.

Uhohimintrouble Wed 21-Dec-16 20:25:30

Fwiw I couldn't speak to her in person since we finished at 2 & it was put online at 3:30 but ok grovelling apology it is then in the new year

Forgetmenotblue Wed 21-Dec-16 20:26:09

I think it's a mismatch of expectations between you and the HT. In her mind she was ending a conversation, but you restarted it. Personally I think she was unwise to put her message on class messenger. It was only going to draw comments and further discussion, none of which are appropriate.

School staff aren't moved lightly. They might be dealing with a very problematic situation that they can't discuss with you.

NiceFalafels Wed 21-Dec-16 20:26:53

At my DS's school most parents seem to have to intervene at some point. You will be one of many. It will pass.

Forgetmenotblue Wed 21-Dec-16 20:29:36

Is fixable though. Email the HT ASAP, apologising and saying you posted in haste as you are worried about your DD. You realise it wasn't right to do that on a public message, and can you please have a quick chat with her in the new year? Merry Christmas and thanks for all you do for the children. Best wishes, UhOh.

All will be forgiven and forgotten by January.

titchy Wed 21-Dec-16 20:30:33

Why do you even consider that you have a right to criticise the Heads decision? If your child has any issues with her teacher once she's in place then by all means involve the head in trying to sort things out, but whinging about a having a new teacher and ta is pretty outrageous. Poor head!

MsMims Wed 21-Dec-16 20:32:30

What were you thinking hmm

Yes you were rude and inappropriate, I'm not surprised it was deleted. I would be making an appointment to apologise and bring up any concerns in person, and definitely not complaining about her 'censorship'. Also, the head isn't answerable to you regarding which staff are appointed. Can you imagine if 60 odd parents had to choose and agree? It would be mayhem.

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