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Scottish P1 Entry - Deferring

(29 Posts)
KirstyW10 Sat 17-Dec-16 10:20:44

Hi needing some advice for DS, I have to register him for school just after the New Year, However, he's a February birthday so should go when he is 4 and a half. Some days I think he's totally ready and other days I'm not so sure.

I'm getting conflicting advice all the time but I don't know whether to send him or not, I don't want to make the wrong choice and regret it.

I'm at the stage where I'm just thinking, ok that's when his birthday is so that's obviously when he's meant to go. If he was born 4 days later it wouldn't be my decision.

HELP!

Nemesia Sat 17-Dec-16 10:23:48

Most parents of boys born in February in my son's class deferred entry so they went to school at 5 and a half. I don't think they regret it at all. I also think that although he may be ready now, sometimes the age difference only comes to light when they start secondary school.
I would say there were more advantages to being the eldest over being the youngest in the class.

KirstyW10 Sat 17-Dec-16 10:28:50

I've heard that quite a lot. I maybe don't see it as an issue as I was a February baby also and I didn't have any problems. I really wish the decision was taken out of my hands.

SetPhasersTaeMalkie Sat 17-Dec-16 10:32:04

Is he at nursery? What do they say?

Shadowridge Sat 17-Dec-16 10:34:11

Most people defer if that helps. It is high school where being a full year younger than your friends really can show and make a big difference. Personally i wouldn't hesitate to defer. I have a March DS and cou6ldnt imagine him going to school a year before he did. He did get a bit bored at nursery and was ready for school by 5+ but that wasn't an issue in the scheme of things. Do the nursery have a ready for school checklist they could go through with you that might help.

KirstyW10 Sat 17-Dec-16 10:38:09

he is at nursery and they think he will be ready. I just don't want to send him and regret it. I don't know if it's because most people keep telling me to defer him. MIL also thinks I should defer him.

KirstyW10 Sat 17-Dec-16 10:39:05

they've not mentioned a checklist, but that sounds like a good idea. I've never heard of that before

Shadowridge Sat 17-Dec-16 10:44:13

You might need to ask if the schools educational phycologist has one.

As a mum though, you need to weight up the social and friendship implications too though. I too think that there are more benefits of being one of the oldest vs the very youngest in the year especially for boys in a high school setting where physical strength and abilities can be a factor. As you say if he was 4 days younger there would be no decision to make so

TheTroubleWithAngels Sat 17-Dec-16 11:23:10

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

trixymalixy Sat 17-Dec-16 11:29:00

I would defer without hesitation too.

You're unlikely to regret deferring, but may regret sending him too early.

I have no regrets about deferring my DS.

Nemesia Sat 17-Dec-16 16:49:57

Kirsty, deferring does seem to be recommended more for boys than girls. The Feb born girls in my son's class are all a year older than the February born boys! That is probably why it didn't do you any harm.

QuinnsNo1Lady Sat 17-Dec-16 16:53:29

My boy is a Jan birthday. He was teady for school at 4...or so I thought.
Only now he is in S4 and still quite immature to be dealing with prelims do I wish I had deferred him.

Celticlassie Sat 17-Dec-16 16:57:23

As a teacher I would defer if I was in your position. I sometimes find that by the time they're in secondary they are a bit immature compared to their classmates when they're in certification classes.

DanyellasDonkey Sat 17-Dec-16 16:57:43

If you're in any doubt, I would defer him. I've heard parents say, "I'm glad I didn't put him to school" but nobody has ever said, "I wish I'd sent him a year earlier"

I think it's more common in boys as girls tend to be more mature.

TheTroubleWithAngels Sat 17-Dec-16 16:57:57

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FrostyLeaves Sat 17-Dec-16 16:58:12

I would jump at the chance to defer. Mostly for reasons in high school. Emotional maturity, sports teams, age at leaving school. There are no benefits to leaving school early that I have seen and there are some disadvantages.

FrostyLeaves Sat 17-Dec-16 17:04:19

Listen I know December born kids whose parents pushed for deferral!
With a February born you are given the option. Most people I know have gone for deferral.
It IS advantageous to be older in the year.

SoggyDays Sat 17-Dec-16 17:08:23

Nursery are looking at him here and now. It's for the long term benefits that many parents defer.

Look at the wider picture.

AgentProvocateur Sat 17-Dec-16 17:11:50

Defer definitely.

trickycat Sat 17-Dec-16 17:14:49

Defer him. Think of how he will cope socially when a teenager apart from anything else. It would be a no brainer for me.

FinallyARainbow Sat 17-Dec-16 17:14:50

I'm surprised that it's more common to defer, I've never known anyone to do this and have a lot of friends with Feb birthdays. Food for thought for DS, he's not a Feb birthday but a preemie so might still have the option.

Cantstopeatingchocolate Sat 17-Dec-16 17:15:10

I would defer
My Nov born was ok, but at our first parents evening we were told he was 'quite young' which we took to mean he was a bit more immature than the others in the class.
There's 3 Feb born girls who all turned 6 just 3 months after his 5th birthday so deferring not just limited to boys. These girls are very confident and are doing well in class whereas DS can be quite distracted still.

SoggyDays Sat 17-Dec-16 17:17:46

Our nursery teacher said a gap year before university is a good idea for 17 year olds leaving school..

It's hard to DO much at the age of 17 tbh and I believe it to be the worst advice ever! She was good with wee ones though. Also getting work opportunities is easier if you are older in the year.

SoggyDays Sat 17-Dec-16 17:19:30

Finally I found deferral varied between areas.

stealtheatingtunnocks Sat 17-Dec-16 17:26:52

I didn't defer our Feb boy. He's totally fine, but, he's only about to turn 9 and in P5. He's our youngest one, so had been going to school his whole life and could manage the checklist above and I saw absolutely no reason to hold him back.

Our daughter's birthday is the 29th of Feb and we sent her too, and she couldn't be any younger in the year! The oldest kid in her year was 18 months older than her (he'd been extra-deferred because of ASD), they were like a different species. She's our eldest, now 12 years old in 2nd year and also thriving.

Both kids are academically and socially able. Neither would have benefitted from being the biggest in the year/first to go through puberty/surrounded by "babies".

Our middle kid,however, is a September birthday, and I'd have deferred him if I'd been given the option because he still lives in a world of his own and can't organise himself for toffee.

So, I guess I'm flagging up that #notallboys. Yes, Mr Feb's physically smaller than the other kids, but, he's not in any way held back by that. I'm glad we sent him, he's in the right place and doing really well.

You know your kid best. I did too, and sent them, and it was the right decision for them.

Lone voice, though...

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