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What if the teacher doesn't move your child to another place?

(17 Posts)
Fiona2011231 Tue 29-Nov-16 10:08:10

I was wondering if this indicates anything about my child's teacher.
In this Year Three, I found that the child sitting next to my son is disruptive. So I went to see the teacher. During our conversation, she said she agreed that the child's behaviour may not be good for my son and said she sould separate them in the class.
However, a few weeks have gone by and I found they are still sitting next to each other.
What would you do in this situation? Is it a bad thing if I try to push the issue again?
Thank you

Amaried Tue 29-Nov-16 13:57:26

Its a tricky one, I think if it was my child and the situation was not improving, I would ask again,
If she was suggesting not moving him, I would ask the teacher for what strategies she was employing to address the situation,- Would absolutely make it her issue to sort,
In many cases, no parent wants their child sitting beside the disruptive child so it could be a case of musical chairs if she was to move a child every time a parent complained but you have to be your childs advocate on this,.

OdinsLoveChild Tue 29-Nov-16 15:05:34

It may be that the disruptive student finds your child a good influence in which case the teacher may be reluctant to move them.
In our school the policy is never to move the child if a parent asks only if its considered necessary to help with learning in the classroom.
I'm currently battling with the school to move a child who has repeatedly told my child theyre better off dead and they should commit suicide. I'm struggling to see how keeping my child next to this other one is 'helping the rest of the class remain productive' Its certainly having a negative influence on mine. confused

Woodacorn Tue 29-Nov-16 23:21:50

We have had this problem. The teacher witnessed my child in tears after school. She is going to move my child to a different table next term. Perhaps your child's teacher is also waiting to reshuffle the tables over the Xmas break?

shouldwestayorshouldwego Wed 30-Nov-16 08:45:17

Odins I would be tempted to contact the school's safguaring officer, print out copies of their anti-bullying policy and tell them that you child won't be back in until they can guarantee their safety by moving them. Put it in writing, cc to HT and chair of governors. Outline the impact that the bullying is having on your child. We had to do that, but they did then act as soon as the letter went in (within hours we were rung and told that they had been separated), despite them being aware of the situation for a week before and saying they would 'move her in their own time'. Unfortunately by that time we had lost faith in the school to actually care about our child's safety and wellbeing so a week later we got a place in a better school.

Fiona it doesn't sound as if you are quite there yet but I would talk to the teacher and find out what the timeframe for the move might be.

thatdearoctopus Wed 30-Nov-16 17:43:52

you child won't be back in until they can guarantee their safety by moving them.
Who said anything about her child not being safe? The OP said the other child was "disruptive," not violent.

Andbabymakesthree Wed 30-Nov-16 17:49:51

Suggest you read the post again octopus.

Agree with advice Odins has been given. Woodacorn so they are going to make your child unhappy for a few more weeks?!

Fiona. Firm chat to teacher. It's not fair on your child.

Btw fwiw my child is that disruptive difficult child. He's getting better. However the school need to be hot on multiple strategies to alleviate the issues not put model children in as the only strategy!

irvineoneohone Wed 30-Nov-16 18:13:38

And, I have to agree with octopus.
Op doesn't actually says the child was violent.

It could be anything. You can't really tell from op what's the problem. Maybe they are as bad as each other. I even wondered if the op's dc wanted to be separated.( there's not enough info.)
I was like ????????????? to respond, tbh.

thatdearoctopus Wed 30-Nov-16 19:06:04

Suggest you read the post again octopus.

Yes? Highlight the exact phrase for me please, where it says the other child is violent.

irvineoneohone Wed 30-Nov-16 19:17:00

"However, a few weeks have gone by and I found they are still sitting next to each other. " suggests that op's ds does not actually complain daily that he is disrupted during lesson and wants to be separated desperately.
No one can really comment in this case accurately without more details from OP, I think.

Andbabymakesthree Wed 30-Nov-16 20:53:33

She was replying to Odins comment when she wrote "you child won't be back in until they can guarantee their safety by moving them" inresponse to Odins comment "I'm currently battling with the school to move a child who has repeatedly told my child theyre better off dead and they should commit suicide" . She then went on to offer advise to OP.

So yes reread the posts. Safe guarding doesn't need to be about violence. It can be mental health too.

thatdearoctopus Wed 30-Nov-16 21:22:42

And I was clearly responding to the OP's situation - which is surely what the thread is about.

Andbabymakesthree Wed 30-Nov-16 22:11:06

Yet quote another posters comment to another poster and query where OP says her child isn't safe. Er she didn't?!! You've taken that quote out of context.

Basicbrown Thu 01-Dec-16 08:02:41

Oh grow up octopus, the reply was to a poster whose child was in a really nasty situation. That to me trumps your definition of thread etiquette to me.

OP I would be demanding that the school sort out the problems with behaviour in the class that are impacting directly on your child rather than demanding a move. It isn't acceptable that child is allowed to just 'be disruptive'.

cansu Thu 01-Dec-16 19:40:53

She probably forgot. Just ring or write a short note asking whether she could move him as agreed previously. I sometimes say I will do something like this and then do just genuinely forget!

CharleyDavidson Thu 01-Dec-16 22:57:45

She might have forgotten.
She might be constrained by finding it difficult to find another place for the disruptive child that won't make things worse.
She might be working on it, it can take ages to find a new seating plan to take into account all the needs of the different children.

I will always endeavour to move the child asap. However, it can be a nightmare to find a new place in this situation.

When in such a position in the past I've asked the child who is being bothered by another who they'd like to go and sit by and let them move as a reward. However, once this backfired and the parent complained (at great length in parents' evening) that their child had been 'picked on' and made to move. They didn't take my explanation that there was a much bigger picture that they didn't see and that if I'd moved the disruptive child instead, they might well have then been mean to the child that had made them have to move out of spite. They really questioned my professional opinion and, as we don't discuss other children with parents I was constrained in how I could effectively explain my reasons.

I'd get back in contact and ask when a new place for your child will have been sorted out.

Fiona2011231 Mon 05-Dec-16 12:32:39

Hello everyone,

Thanks a lot for sharing your thought.

So it seems that I should contact the teacher again, asking whether any move can be made.


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