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Compulsory After School Activies (Evening)

(14 Posts)
user1478602262 Tue 08-Nov-16 11:01:28

Just after a little advice.
My DS school have informed us that they plan to attend and take part in an evening dance show in the centre of Blackpool.
The show is from 7-9pm.
The children will be taken to te venue by coach but will not be returning by coach, the parents have to collect.
We have a coice of staying and watching or picking up at 9pm.
The problem is, its my MIL's birthday that day and we have plans for the evening which my DS wants to attend.
I approached the school and informed them of this and they have informed me the activity is compulsory and were really rude when I tried to tell them my DS can't attend...can they do this?
My DS hates anything where he has to preform so doesn't want to take part anyway.
Anyone any idea where I would stand?
He doesn't take part in any activity where I would expect to have to attend evening shows etc (my daughter was in the choir throgh primary school and we did realise that out of school activities would be required)
But my son chooses not to take part in activities like these because its not his thing!!
I also don't fancy the idea of leaving my MIL's birthday to walk round the centre of Blackpool in my own to collect him.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated as I plan to pick this up again with the school this week.

My2centsworth Tue 08-Nov-16 11:04:40

Don't ask, tell them. Not rudely. This is your child, unfortunately he cannot go, they have no authority to plan compulsory sfterschool events, but still should be commended for doing something so lovely for the children, but unfortunately your child won't be there.

user1478602262 Tue 08-Nov-16 11:11:16

It is a lovely event (my daughter took part last year) and the girls usually love it..not so much the boys.
They are rehersing through their PE lessons which of course I wold never object to but we just can't go and they don't seem to want to listen.
When I tried explaining they just kept informing me it was a compulsory event and he is expected to attend.
I have a great relationship usually with the's just a little frustrating that they wont listen.

Ratbagratty Tue 08-Nov-16 11:20:10

What happens between after scholarship and the coach pick Up? Are they keeping them at SCHOOL? Or do you gave to drop Off? Just write a polite letter stating the facts and don't take him.

Ratbagratty Tue 08-Nov-16 11:20:33

After school that should say not scholarship

user1478602262 Tue 08-Nov-16 11:30:39

They are taking them around 2pm for a sound check before the show. We pack their tea which they eat there and then they just wait around until the show starts.
They take part with 12 ish other schools who each have their 5 minutes on stage then head backstage again.
I uderstand the school had mentioned if one child drops out then others will (I know others have asked that their children don't take part but have been informed the same as I have) but I have plans :/

user1478602262 Tue 08-Nov-16 11:39:25

Thanks for your replies, I will speak to them again smile

oompaloompaland Tue 08-Nov-16 13:24:20

I agree with the others. After school is your time, not their time, and I would politely, but firmly, tell them that your DS is unable to attend. I would secretly be planning an attack of the galloping lurgy for the day too, just in case you still hit your head against a brick wall. ;) Good luck!

katand2kits Tue 08-Nov-16 14:03:36

It's not compulsory at all. They have no right whatsoever to insist. They will require a permission slip from you anyway, so just refuse to give one. Write a letter to say that the event clashes with a family commitment and your son doesn't want to go to it anyway so you will be collecting him from school before the coach leaves. Easy peasy. They absolutely cannot force this on you.

SpotTheDuck Tue 08-Nov-16 14:06:28

They absolutely cannot organise compulsory activities outside school hours. Put in writing that he will not be attending, and that you do not give permission for him to go on this trip. Then ask whether they would prefer for you to pick him up at two (if you're free to do that?) or say you will collect him at the usual time and assume they will be able to provide an alternative activity for him until end of school time.

jamdonut Fri 11-Nov-16 22:06:29

I've never heard of anything out -of -school -hours being " compulsory" before!

You say you've approached the school, but have you actually spoken to the class teacher about it? It could be(if you spoke to the office) that they have been told to say it's compulsory to try to counteract a big group of children not coming. If you talk to the teacher and explain, you might get a more considered response?

Even so, I don't think they can make him do something like that without your permission.
We have children doing something for Children in Need on Friday. We will be leaving in the afternoon, and be there till 10pm...but they (and we staff!) Are all volunteers!

MrsKCastle Sat 12-Nov-16 09:34:38

They can't make it compulsory. Just write a polite letter telling them that he won't be attending. I would say that you will collect him before the coach leaves on the day, if you possibly can as it will make their lives a lot easier if everyone else is going. But don't take no for an answer.

Piglet208 Sat 12-Nov-16 09:52:49

The school needs your permission to take him. Put in writing that you do not give permission and offer to pick him up before the coach leaves. They are being unreasonable.

Vickster99 Sat 12-Nov-16 19:21:40

This is completely ridiculous, especially as they are not even providing transport home. What if you were a single parent with a young child at home. Would they expect you to drag a young child out late at night to pick up the other one? Just say no, there is no way can make you and it is completely outrageous that they are even trying

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