So, ds1 started a new school last year in Y5. He is now in Y6. He has had persistent problems with a group of boys, and in fact I posted a couple of weeks ago about some bullying, name calling and picking on his clothes/ shoes etc. which other posters said I should deal with, so had a chat to his teacher. [[http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/primary/2743720-Is-this-bullying]].
On Friday there was an incident where one of these boys who is quite large and very physical tried to run at him to 'tackle him' (happens often). Ds1 said "You can't catch me," and ran off. This boy then tried to run at him again, but ds saw and dodged him. He then did it again, but this time Ds was talking to someone and didn't see. The boy whacked into him, pushed him onto the ground (he banged his head) and then strangled him. A TA saw and it went to the Deputy Head. The Deputy Head spoke to this boy and he said Ds1 called him fat and so he got angry and that is why he attacked ds1. Ds1 was then called in to Deputy Head and denied calling the boy fat. She said this other boy does not lie and said that if he owned up they could just apologise to each other rather than being banned from playing football for a week. Ds1 is quite insecure, not confident and was very intimidated by being called to Deputy Head - combined with the prospect of no football for a week! So, ds1 decided to 'own up' (He said, "I may have said it by accident, I can't remember." They apologised to each other. Done and dusted. Football rights back.
I woke up last night really troubled by it, but not sure if I am being unreasonable (too much of a coward to post in AIBU). I have had a very good chat to him, and I really believe he did not say the boy was fat. He may have implied it by saying, "You can't catch me..." However, this was in response to the boy coming at him so possibly fair enough.
I feel like he was given no option but to 'admit' to calling this boy fat when obviously this boy knew he could play that card to get out of being in big trouble for attacking ds unprovoked (he is overweight, so he probably knows he can play this 'card' if it has happened before). I am really not 'precious' about my ds and am the first to admit he lets his mouth run away with him when he gets angry. However, in the first instance he is accused of saying 'fat', he wasn't angry. Ds1 admitted to me and the Deputy Head that after the incident he called the other boy a 'stupid idiot' and he was quite worried about that (knows he is not allowed), but Deputy Head said that was ok. I am going to go into school as they did try to call me on Friday afternoon but I was out and left my mobile at home so I missed it.
I just want to know if this is common practise and how I should deal with it when I go in on Monday. What questions I should ask etc.
Please or to access all these features
Please
or
to access all these features
Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.
Primary education
Ds1 'encouraged' to lie by Deputy Head in a bullying situation
18 replies
MerryMarigold · 15/10/2016 11:07
OP posts:
Please create an account
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.