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Any advice? 4yo DD struggling with me leaving her

(12 Posts)
SESthebrave Tue 11-Oct-16 19:45:38

DD is 4.4yo. She is in her 3rd week of Reception. The first 3 days of school she went in like the most confident girl in the school. She even pushed me back into the playground as she wanted to go in by herself.

She then suddenly changed and has become really clingy and often tearful. The teachers assure me she settles once I've gone but I'm finding it tough and it must be tough for DD going through that each morning. She never asks not to go and always seems to enjoy herself.

She's been to nursery and pre-school 4 days a week and her brother is already at the school. She's normally very sociable and independent. I didn't anticipate it would be this hard sad

oleoleoleole Tue 11-Oct-16 19:51:04

She could be picking up any anxiety or sadness from you maybe? Can a n other drop her to see if she reacts differently. I hope it gets easier for you.

MerryMarigold Tue 11-Oct-16 19:51:30

I had similar. I think the novelty wears off. It's also very tiring when they are that young. Must keep going and don't let her see you're upset. If school aren't offering a chart or some incentive, she must cheer up quite quickly. Also have a chat to her when she is in a good mood, maybe before bed, all snuggled up, and just ask how is going, anything making her sad, anyone been unkind etc. It's hard. My ds1 was bummed quite severely in Reception, and was also told off a lot by the teacher. I didn't really know till the last term. But I've had 2 through since who were also clingy at times but had no issues.

MerryMarigold Tue 11-Oct-16 19:52:45

Bummed?!!! should be bullied!

lolaonrollerskates Tue 11-Oct-16 20:13:46

My DD was like this in Reception-I made sure we were consistent every morning - same routine, made sure she knew if me or grandparents were picking up later in the day and what she could get for her lunch etc. Meeting a friend at the of the road also helped so she didn't feel she was going in alone. It slowly seemed to sort itself out and literally was a case of riding it out. We are now in Y1 and very happy and settled.

Poocatcherchampion Tue 11-Oct-16 20:17:51

Same here. I couldn't take her today so she cried for me at home and sailed in for him.

She seems to be reducing one less sob a day so I am remaining optimistic. I do know she enjoys it though once she is through the door.

SESthebrave Tue 11-Oct-16 20:18:22

Thank you for your replies which are reassuring me.
DH has dropped her off a couple of times and experienced the same. Childminder has also dropped her off with mixed experience.

AmberEars Tue 11-Oct-16 20:20:27

My DD was like this in reception. I was also surprised because she'd been absolutely fine with starting playgroup and nursery - and the nursery was attached to the school, so she was literally in the next door room! I think it was the 'all day, every day' thing which was a hard transition for her.

For my DD, it helped to let her take her special toy into school with her (even though this seemed like a step backwards as she hadn't taken him to nursery). Does your DD have one?


SESthebrave Tue 11-Oct-16 20:33:29

Thank you, yes she has a couple of special toys and I could ask if she could take one.

Shesaysso Tue 11-Oct-16 20:37:02

You could send her in with something that belongs to you. A scarf, bracelet, hanky type thing. Tell her you want her to look after it and that you'll get it back off her when you pick her up.
I've heard this reassures that you are actually coming back.

SESthebrave Tue 11-Oct-16 22:57:14

Thank you, yes that's a good suggestion too.

SESthebrave Wed 12-Oct-16 10:58:04

Thank you all!!!

This morning I gave her a little heart-shaped stone from my purse that the DC gave me for Mithets Day a couple of years ago and asked her to look after it for me and she went in fine. Just hope it continues now smile

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