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I don't know how much is reasonable to expect re end of the school day

(20 Posts)
Oscha Sat 10-Sep-16 18:03:19

DD has just gone in to Reception at school. She was at a nursery before this, (unrelated to the school) and obviously the way they do things is very different. When we picked her up from nursery one of the staff would come and say hello, talk a little about her day, raise any issues etc. It only took a few seconds but it was nice! I know that it's different at a school with one teacher to 30 kids, and I'm not expecting the same thing to happen, but I've been a bit surprised this week by how little interaction I've had with the teacher-it's pretty much none.

The parents all wait outside the classroom and the teacher stands by the door. When she sees a parent she calls the child over, they come outside and she calls the next child. It's a mad scramble in the corridor to get out of the group of parents and somewhere with a bit of space to put her coat on etc. There's no opportunity to ask, 'has she had a good day?' or even to smile at the teacher to be honest as she's pretty much just shepherding children out and not looking at the parents.

DD is happy with how it's going and is enjoying herself so I don't have anything I need to discuss. I guess I'd just like to be nodded or smiled at, or have 'great day' mouthed at me. It seems odd to have no communication at all. On one day DD came out without her jumper and by the time the rest of the kids and parents had gone and there was space to move back to the classroom door to go and get it, the teacher was gone and a cleaner was in there. I don't want to be all pfb about it! Is this the normal way of doing things? Do I just presume no news is good news?

ChessieFL Sat 10-Sep-16 18:05:49

Sounds normal to me. Teacher will let you know if there's a problem, or you can go and speak to them if you want to.

CharleyDavidson Sat 10-Sep-16 18:07:18

Yes. This is my experience of having seen 2 x dds through primary. No news is definitely good news. If your DDs teacher has something to talk to you about, it's normal for them to tell your DD to say that they want to talk to you and then you wait around for a bit to let them see some of the children out, then go and talk to them.

It's the walk of shame sometimes when you have to go to the teacher about something! smile

FeckinCrutches Sat 10-Sep-16 18:08:02

I don't expect anything at nursery. Only speak to the teacher if they call you over to say something has happened. They haven't got time to speak to 30 parents at 3.30.

tribpot Sat 10-Sep-16 18:08:31

That's normal. And yes, you presume no news is good news. When the teacher comes out to see you that's when you need to worry - in Year 5 my ds fell and managed to create a massive bruise/cut down one whole cheek. Weirdly he wasn't in any pain so it looked way worse than it was. The form teacher came out of the building (from the first floor so not a short distance) to warn me before he came out so I didn't make a fuss and upset him - and of course also to reassure me that he was fine.

Parents' evening is when you get to interact with the teacher and find out how she's doing, although I have vague memories in reception that the Y6 buddy wrote a little diary of how ds had got on, like what he ate at lunch and so on.

FeckinCrutches Sat 10-Sep-16 18:10:23

Sorry, I meant school.

Sootica Sat 10-Sep-16 18:10:47

I found this a shock in reception too! Do you do morning drop off? I found there was more time for chat then.

HanYOLO Sat 10-Sep-16 18:11:01

Yep, that's the way it goes.
Though our lot are in coats and bag in hand before being sent out.
Have always found teachers/T.A.s willing to have a quick chat if you hang back...though rarely do

Oscha Sat 10-Sep-16 18:11:47

Ok, I'm glad it's normal!

Feckin I know they don't, and as I said, I'm not expecting much. Just a smile or hello 😉 I will adjust my expectations!

AntiquityAgain Sat 10-Sep-16 18:13:30

Lol at the walk of shame! So true!

It's normal. I found teachers got more smiley the further up in school you got as they don't have to keep their eyes so much on little ones.

Oscha Sat 10-Sep-16 18:14:56

Sootica I do morning drop off too, yep, though that's super busy as parents stay for the first 10 mins to do an activity with the children, so there's over 60 people in the room and the teacher's really busy.

I expect the process will get more smooth as the weeks progress anyway. I guess the main difference between nursery and school is that at nursery they're all being collected at different times, so there's more space in the room and more time for the staff to say hi.

Moonrocks6 Sat 10-Sep-16 18:23:45

If she's anything like me she will be so focused on making sure that nobody goes with the wrong adult/ disappears/ that the children still in the class are not doing anything daft/ that little sally has her wet pants with her/ trying to give out newsletters etc that she just won't have a spare second.

I wouldn't worry unless they approach you.
I once had a parent run away from me in the playground. I was only going out to say that her ds had had a good day!confused

redskytonight Sat 10-Sep-16 18:30:03

I think it was the being collected at different times that made the difference in your nursery- the staff simply have more time. IMEyour experience is not only normal for Reception, it's also normal for pre-school/school nursery where all the children are let out at the same time.

AnneGables Sat 10-Sep-16 18:33:27

I found this really hard too. So used to feedback at the end of each nursery day, then suddenly nothing at all. Rest assured though, they would tell you if there was a problem, so no news is definitely good news.

WhoKnowsWhereTheTimeG0es Sat 10-Sep-16 18:34:44

They have to focus on making sure each child has an adult to pick them up before they are allowed out of the door, with a queue of 30 noisy children behind them and a sea of unfamiliar adults in front of them there is no time for anything else.

2014newme Sat 10-Sep-16 18:35:44

Teachers are matching 30 children with people picking them up, unfamiliar faces, one off arrangements that jenny is going with poppy today, Sally is being picked up by grandma etc. Add in parents that teacher does need to catch about something, the staff meeting teacher needs to get too, the planning and marketing and organisation of resources that needs to be done for next day, the return of list property and of course picking up their own children and you can see why it is busy, hectic and the teacher with the best will in the world wants to get the despatch of kids done efficiently. Try this with 30 kids yourself and see!

Oscha Sat 10-Sep-16 20:15:44

Yes 2014, as I've said, I was only expecting a smile, and I've already adjusted my expectations, thanks.

I'm a teacher btw.

Ferguson Sat 10-Sep-16 20:29:52

In some schools a TA or even a voluntary helper can have more time to cover these 'niceties'.

Although it is some years since I had any role in schools, I am happy to report that was NOT my experience in KS1. But maybe things have grown even more frenetic than I realise!

SharonfromEON Sat 10-Sep-16 23:13:20

I found it a shock in reception too..Then ask child what have you done today? Dunno What did you have for lunch? can't a whole chunk of their lives gone...

yes you do adjust to the no news is good news.

smellyboot Sun 11-Sep-16 22:54:57

Expect no info. Our TAS let the DC in in the morning. No interaction really. Teachers do appear at the door at the end of the day for a few mins in case any one needs an urgent word,
If you get a tap on the shoulder from the teachers, then worry..

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