DS struggling with transition to juniors

[sportinguista]

My normally confident, resilient little boy has started crying in class since Thursday when he started the linked junior school. It is actually all one primary school but the juniors is on a different site to infants. He is staying in the same class with all his friends from infants so it's not about that. Coming out he says he feels sick and this morning before we were due to go he said that he felt sick.

I've checked with the teacher and TA that there are no other issues (say with older kids etc) but they say no he seems fine at playtimes. They are concerned obviously as we all want him to feel happy and settled. But the last 2 days he was there he barely touched his packed lunch which worries me. He is normally quite confident even around kids he doesn't know well (he went to summer sports camps with no issue at all) so this does seem out of character for him.

It worries me too as we will be moving house in the new year and hope to go some considerable way so there will be no chance of him remaining at the same school, however he seems more positive about this possible move than the current situation.

I've checked with teacher and asked him and there appear to be no friendship issues either.

What can I do? This seems to be anxiety (he is fine at weekends) but I have no idea what I can do to make it better for him. He was really clingy this morning which is totally unlike him.

Has anyone else come across this? Several people have suggested doctors but there is nothing physically wrong...

[SaturdaySurprise]

It's only been two days. Could he actually just have a virus or something?

[sportinguista]

It's possible, but he's been fine over the weekend, no complaints, eating fine, sleeping fine, it all seems to be centred on school. I've been careful to big up the school change and his teacher and TA are really nice and very caring.

I genuinely thought it was just first day nerves but it seems to be carrying on. Hopefully he'll be happier when I pick him up.

I guess we'll try for a relaxed evening and early night.

[FlopIsMyParentingGuru]

I have a boy about to go up to juniors but gets a bit anxious about new things even though he is happy when there.
We just give him lots of hugs and reassurance, don't place too many demands on him at home and make sure he is encouraged and affirmed. So far he seems to just get into his stride and gets more confident it just seems to take him a bit longer than some of his peers.

[redskytonight]

Is he worried about the increased expectation/independence required of him now he's in Junior school? Lots of children find it a big shock until they get used to it.

[sportinguista]

Not sure, we haven't really touched on that at home, whether they have at school I don't know. He had a reading book sent home at the weekend, but it was well within his capabilities, in fact a touch easy for him. It could be the independence as I know they try to move them forward in terms of what they are expected to do for themselves, but again he is confident in this in other places. He just seems to have had a complete wobble. He was looking forward to going back, seeing all his friends again so I'm not sure what's knocked him off kilter. He's a pretty confident kid, not like me at all, I was painfully shy.

I guess we will have to try reassuring. He is also youngest in year but this has never seemed to bother him before as he is not the shortest etc and it doesn't show in terms of maturity.

[ReggieJones]

Have you talked about the potential house/school move with him and this could be causing him anxiety?

[sportinguista]

Only in that it's not yet. This is the one thing he is positive about. He's looking forward to having bigger room, being able to go to friend's birthday parties, more playdates etc.

Today was somewhat better although he still didn't eat most of his lunch, so I think I'll have to ask his teachers to keep a close eye on him. If it carries on we will have to go see a doctor though. I'm hoping things will improve. I'll have a chat in the morning to see if the potential move is worrying him.

[bojorojo]

I am slightly mystified regarding what a GP could do at this moment in time. I think he is perhaps anxious about the transition to the junior school and the realisation that perhaps it seems "grown up". Are you sure he still has the same group of friends? Has there been any falling out? I would ask his teacher to monitor him and see if anything is obviously troubling him at school before seeing a GP who cannot possibly know what is going on at school.

[sportinguista]

It has got a bit better in the last couple of days although we are still having a battle with the lunch and staying a bit clingy. I've asked about the friends but he still seems to be with his usual little group. I did wonder if the dynamic may have changed as I know his best friend and another little boy in the group have playdates as the mums have become close friends.

I think it was more the not eating and possible general anxiety I was thinking if it got worse the GP might help.

His teacher and TA have been amazing though. I'm hoping it's just the shock of the new. They seem to be monitoring all the dynamics at the moment anyway simply because they need to understand who is who in the classes.

He doesn't seem to be worried about the potential move, other than a bit of worry as to whether the removal van will fit everything!