How do you deal with gossipy parent?

(7 Posts)
irvineoneohone Sun 07-Aug-16 00:51:22

It's easy if it doesn't involve children. Just stay away. But if your dc's friend's parent is very gossipy, how do you deal with them?

My ds always enjoy meeting up with this friend who lives close at the park, but I really find spending time with his Mum uncomfortable. The boy is not his best friend, but in the same class, and quite close.
His Mum is a parent helper at school, and she seems to be always on the phone, which is great.( Meaning I don't have to chat so much.)
But she is constantly talking about children I know on the phone to her friends.(who is other Mums in the class.)
When she is not on the phone, she is also talking about children she knows, and most of the time, horrible things about them.
She even tells me that my ds's best friend who has sen is a bad influence, so he should stay away. I don't care what she thinks, I like the boy, and so does my ds, but it hurts to listen to hurtful comments from somebody who claims to know them well.

I met with her 4 times since holiday started, and had enough, but doesn't want to stop my ds having fun. He loves playing with her son, but I don't want to be friend with his Mum!

What would you do in this situation?

TheFlyingFauxPas Sun 07-Aug-16 01:04:28

If she is gossiping about details she could only learn within school as a helper I would have a quiet word with school as this is totally unacceptable. Otherwise if she's speaking to me I would refuse to engage. Harder said than done as it can creep up on you! I has a friend who also helped out in school. She'd be chatting normally then something which should have been kept confidential would pop into conversation. A couple of times I called her on it. Other times I'd just sort of nod and not comment. She kind of got the message that I was not one to discuss insider stuff with. She probably carried on with other people. I was a school helper many years. Made very aware of confidentiality and was often privy to extremely sensitive stuff but would never discuss outside school. My mum has a friend who goes into school to hear readers. She often gossips to my mum sometimes extremely sensitive info
Makes me extremely cross. I call her Loose Lips.

TheFlyingFauxPas Sun 07-Aug-16 01:07:29

Sometimes in order for my ds to keep friendships I've just had to put up with the parents. And vice versa sometimes I did expect ds to invite kids he maybe wasn't fond of as I was good friends with parents!

irvineoneohone Sun 07-Aug-16 01:15:12

I know I have to keep being amicable with ds's friends' parents, but this one is very difficult. I am getting so bored of just nodding and say nothing.

I am totally aware that she shouldn't be telling me those things(like who can't read or add or who is in bottom group, etc, etc.), but I really don't want to have awkward relationship with her for my ds's sake.

Dishevelled09 Sun 07-Aug-16 02:12:03

Echo having a quiet word with the school. If it's the gossiping you don't like listening to ask her if he can come over to play with your son then take them to the park minus gossipy mum.

SpecialAgentFreyPie Sun 07-Aug-16 02:40:48

Talk to the school, they won't say it was you. She's gossiping with everyone, so it's not like she'd know.

So not okay.

irvineoneohone Mon 08-Aug-16 08:52:49

Thank you.
It's good idea asking the boy to come over then go to the park.
About telling the school, I want to, but I am a wuss, I can't do it.

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