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AIBU: to be annoyed he didn't get selected for a sports event, because 'he's already had a maths and english day'????

(10 Posts)
Katsh Mon 04-Jul-16 18:16:00

DS (8) came out of school athletics club today in tears. There is an interschools athletics event next week which he hasn't been selected for. He has been to running club every cold, wet week of the year, because he loves to run. He knew last week that he hadn't been chosen, because he didn't get a letter home about it, but today the PE teacher called him aside during athletics club to tell him that he had in fact been selected but his class teacher said he shouldn't be allowed to do it. apparently she had said that someone else should get a turn at doing something extra because DS had taken part in a maths day and a literacy day (which last time I checked didn't involve any running ;) ) . DS's reading of the situation is that if he's smart they won't let him compete in sports, and so his declared aim ( through sobs) is to be less smart next year. I am pretty frustrated. I know that things need to be shared around, but it drives me nuts when teachers handle it clumsily and children become demotivated. Teachers I'm open to rebuke here, or at least another opinion. But I guess I just hate, like we all do, those moments when we have to tell our sad children that life isn't always fair, and no matter how good they are at something, or how badly they want it, it may not be theirs. would you talk to the teachers about it, or just leave it?

buffalogrumble Mon 04-Jul-16 18:25:43

I'd explain that the teacher wanted someone else to have a turn at going out of school and sometimes life is unfair. And add that at 8yo he's old enough to understand that life is sometimes unfair and being rubbish at maths and English next year probably won't make life any fairer. It's tough, but I'm guessing if he's that dedicated he could join an out of school running club

ExitPursuedByABear Mon 04-Jul-16 18:33:13

It's shit and I feel your pain. DD's Y6 teacher hated her and gave her a crap part in the end of school play 'because she has already been in something else'. Yeah cos she has bothered to do stuff outside school.

I still see the bitch years later and give her evils.

<childish>

SoupDragon Mon 04-Jul-16 18:33:52

No, I wouldn't talk to he teachers because I think they are right.

I would explain to my son how it wouldn't be fair if he got picked for everything and ask him to think how me might feel if another child went to everything and he didn't get a chance. I would tell him this is how they make sure that more children get a chance. I would also make it quite clear that pretending to be stupid isn't going to help smile

He might have been to running club on every cold wet morning but I suspect many others have too.

AChickenCalledKorma Mon 04-Jul-16 19:34:47

It's fair that special days are shared out, but I'd be looking for an opportunity to tip his teacher off about his comment about pretending to be "less smart". There's enough pressure on boys to dumb down their abilities; the school do need to send out a message that it's possible to be both academically able and sporty.

SewSlapdash Mon 04-Jul-16 19:51:01

I think the sports teacher is at fault here. Until he told your DS that he had been prevented from taking part (as opposed to not selected), it sounds as if your DS was ok with it. Why upset him unnecessarily by telling him what had happened behind the scenes confused

Dogolphin Mon 04-Jul-16 19:58:53

I would ask the school if next year he could do the sports instead of another day.

MilkRunningOutAgain Mon 04-Jul-16 22:34:23

Similar happened to my DS a few years back but school handled it less clumsily. I agree with Sewslapdash, the PE teacher was at fault. My DS was not told why he was chosen for various academic out of school events but not sporting ones. But the teacher told me at parents evening, it was to motivate him to try harder at maths , which was not needed for sports as he was so keen. All I can say is it didn't work, he still dislikes maths and loves running!

monkeywithacowface Mon 04-Jul-16 22:37:18

PE teacher shouldn't have said anything but I think the teacher is right to share out the opportunities.

katsh Tue 05-Jul-16 09:30:49

Thanks all. I absolutely agree that opportunities can be shared out - especially at year 3; my issue was more with the messages that came with it. I talked it all out with him yesterday and I think that the acknowledgement from me that I could see that it hurt and felt unfair, was all that he needed. He knows that you can't get everything you want. He knows that teachers are doing their best. He isn't impressed with the outcome, but he was out practising running last night so that he can show them on sports day that he should have been chosen, so maybe it will make him more competitive rather than less ! We'll see.

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