WWYD Is this a very bad idea?....

[Mapless]

Is it a bad idea to move my year 5 boy to another school further down the road? Will this mess up year 6, will I damage his school career - or could we minimise potential risks?

He is very able academically and a talented sportsman in a number of sports. But he can be cocky and a class clown. If not cognitively challenged and exercised (for an hour a day) he can be very hard work...so no angel. He's also hard working, responsible and reliable beyond his years, shows deep empathy with those less fortunate and very and caring.

His class teacher has had a lot of time off. So there's been a lot of half days with just the class TA (who finds DS too challenging) and many many days with supply teachers (typically secondary supply). Staff say they take DS out and put him into year 6 as he's too much for the TA. DS's view is that the supply teachers seem to give him a hard time from the outset (perhaps warned by the TA). I'm concerned about the many tearful exits from school, the physical bullying from year 6s (he's less resilient about this when he's been told off lots from TA and supply teachers).

DS was really keen to go for head boy, secondary scholarships, school teams etc but is now less motivated and feels he has lost any chances of these as he is seen in a certain light. I don't think the school are being unfair necessarily, but we are concerned about the impact of lots of supply teachers and this TA on DS's sense of inclusion, feeling valued, feeling he can contribute.

There's an excellent school nearby with a place, it feeds into DD's secondary school so DS would have time to make new friends who will definitely go there. It takes sports much more seriously and competitively. Almost all DS's friends will go to other schools.

I don't want to be indulgent - and there are home consequences for any disrespect at school or home. But there are a number of things that make me wonder whether I should just move him. He is happy to visit the other school and see. WWYD? Thanks

[Mapless]

Bump

[Mner]

I'd at least go and see it. You won't lose anything from visiting

[CodyKing]

Sometimes reputation is a bad thing - he has made a name for himself and now regrets it?

Yes see the school

DD moved schools in y5 and it's been a blessing

[SaltyMyDear]

Sounds like a good idea.

I moved my DS for Y6 - worked out very well.

Certainly won't hurt him academically or socially. And a fresh start might be just what he needs.

[BertPuttocks]

If it were my DS I think I would leave him where he is.

What comes across in your post is that he feels that the issues he faces are being caused by other people - the class teacher being absent, the TA, strict supply teachers. Even the potential loss of future privileges are only because of how other people see him.

I think he needs to really understand that the problems he has (other than the bullying) are a direct result of his own behaviour. Moving to another school is not really a solution. If he behaves in the same way at secondary school, will he expect to be able to just move again and leave the consequences behind?

He will learn far more from facing up to the consequences and then taking the opportunity to really turn his behaviour around.

If the school is anything like ours, being sent to another classroom is exactly what staff are supposed to do when a child is disrupting others from their learning. It is not a sign of weakness in the TA.

[Momtothree]

A few years ago we had a new oy come to school year 6 with a reputation - he'd never been allowed swimming lessons or clubs trips etc because of his behaviour

Clean slate and he was an amazing lad - not as cock or confident as you might think and very unsure of himself - he made one mistake if you like and HT came down on him hard - he bucked his ideas up and left a happy boy - his mom was delighted he learnt to swim!!!! Enjoyed the week away and visited the usual y6 trips - all without any major misdemeano!

Your DS can do this !!

[Idontknowwhoiam]

I was a helper in a primary and it really surprised me how.many kids were moved around classes because they couldn't behave where they were...
I didn't think that any of the kids who were moved really benefited from it. In my opinion it was more for the teachers sanity than anything else (not saying this is a bad thing, I was grateful when certain children were removed!)
From your point of view as a parent I would say that moving him could be much better. By staying in the same school, the ethos and his reputation will encourage the same behaviour, the new school could be better suited to him and calm him ready for secondary school.

[Momtothree]

But - not all schools suit all children - and how at 11 does a boy change so much that they treat him better? Or the parents have realised he's changed or wants to?
How does he stop reacting to others winding him up when they press his bottoms?

[Hariasa]

There seems to be a disconnect between:

"hard working, responsible and reliable beyond his years, shows deep empathy"

And a child who cannot reliably behave in class. How much empathy is he showing his peers and the staff?

If you move him schools and he behaves as he is currently the same thing will happen. Only move him if he is clear that the main thing that needs to change is his behaviour.

Bear in mind that both staff and pupils between the new schools will talk, he may not be able to leave his reputation entirely behind.

[Balletblue]

I would consider what your son wants and also what the yr 6 teacher is like.

[whiteDragon]

There's an excellent school nearby with a place, it feeds into DD's secondary school so DS would have time to make new friends who will definitely go there. It takes sports much more seriously and competitively. Almost all DS's friends will go to other schools.

Given this I'd suggest moving him.

we have moved house so my yr 6 girl had a new school - we were really worried about it but she had thrived and I think had a great year 6. I think part of that has been rising to the challenge of an entirely new place and people.

[Mapless]

Thanks everyone. We'll go ahead with the visit. Good to hear others have benefitted. I don't think he'll go with a clean slate - he hasn't got into big trouble where he is. The bottom line is we think he is bored. He says he doesn't understand the latest supply teacher.

He is actually quite sensitive but hides it with a jack the lad attitude. He's one of the youngest and physically smallest. The teacher said that if he was in any other class he wouldn't be noticed.

But - he does play around (eg 2 boys tapping each other on the head with exercise books, or repeatedly asking what porn means...He'd be exhausting more than anything. Give him some responsibility and talk to him like he's 15 yrs and he's fab. But there's 30 other children...).

[Saracen]

Good luck with it! I hope a change of school will help.

If it doesn't, or if there are similar problems at secondary, maybe home education could be worth looking into. You said "Give him some responsibility and talk to him like he's 15 yrs and he's fab. But there's 30 other children..." What if there weren't 30 other children? What if you could make sure he had the mental and physical challenges he needs, and give him more responsibility for his own learning?

[weirdsister]

He's moved into another class because the TA can't cope?
I'd definitely consider moving him.
He may be falling into a pattern of low level disruptive behaviour due to the current set up, but presumably if the school thought that your ds had underlying behavioural difficulties they'd have highlighted that by now.

[chocaholic73]

You have the Year 5 teacher absent but there is only just over a month of this term left and he will be in Year 6 anyway, so the problem is likely to resolve itself very quickly. If you move him to the new school, you won't know until you get there what the staff are like. Even if you talk to the head, they are unlikely to disclose any staff absences.