Ds, 10, has no motivation, I cannot keep pushing. (Scotland Primary 6)(3 Posts)
Ds was given 4 weeks for this piece of homework- a Timeline of thier own lives. Last time he was given a project I really pushed, rmeinded, harped on, he put it off and we both just got stressed and resentful. In the end he did most of it on the last night, pulled it off, teacher was happy, he was happy and proud, I was happy. We had a chat, don't leave it until the last minute again.
This time, we had a chat during week 1, we discussed all his major life events, he made notes. We discussed the format, he decided, made a wee booklet, laminated it, cut some paper and added treasury tags.
Fast forward 3 weeks, I have gently reminded him every other night last week- homework is due in on Tuesday, how long are you planning on spending on your homework today? Why don't you tell [my friend who is also a teacher] what homework assignment you have this term....? Etc and he would say hmm no I'll do it tomorrow, or I'm OK I'll get it done....and I would say well just so long as you know. I'm not going to harp on at you because we discussed this last time. I chatted with my friend, she reckons he is old enough and I should just let him get on with it and suffer the consequences.
It is now 10.15pm and he is doing it now. He only started it at 8pm and has achieved very little. He needs a shower tonight. He's getting slightly cross because he cannot motivate himself and is not getting very far.
So......do I let him carry on until he thinks he has done enough and it's 11.30pm and he's shattered but at least his homework is finished?
Do I tell him to go to bed now and hand in poor homework?
I just don't know how much involvement I should have. He is old enough to know what is required, he should be able to take on the responsibilty I'm sure? What am I supposed to do???
He is an academic boy, I've never had a worry, I get great reports home (other than he takes a long time to get anything done!) he is bright, polite, reads until the cows come home, and is a clever lad. So consequently never gets in to trouble and his teacher thinks he's doing fine. But I don't think this is fine, he's going in to his final primary year after the summer holidays.
Sounds painful. Is it worth to try the crash and burn technique and see if a poor score motivates him for next time? If you let him stay up til late he has no motivation to do anything differently next time?
I'd make him go to bed now (if he's not in bed already ). He can hand in his work tomorrow at whatever stage he's got to and accept the consequences (which at this stage, will probably just be the disappointment of his teacher as s/he knows he is capable of doing better).
Better he learn that lesson now in P6/soon to be P7 than once he is in S1.
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