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DD in year 2 losing all confidence, how to approach teacher

(13 Posts)
TapStepBallChange Sun 05-Jun-16 21:51:25

DD is in year 2, she is seriously struggling with reading and writing, she has not been diagnosed with anything, but we are considering exploring this. She's good at maths and very interested in science, she seems to have a good understanding of stories, she just can't manage the mechanics of reading. The school haven't given us a reading level, but I'm guessing she's about 18-14 months behind where she needs to be. She does extra reading sessions in school, we read at home with her every night. She has made progress in reading this year, but it's just very slow and every term she gets further behind the others. DD hates reading and argues against doing it every night. I'm just trying to give background, to put my question in context.

In the last few weeks DD has become very teary about school. She says she is the worst in the class at everything, the worst in the school at reading, all the children in reception are better than her. She says the teacher has told her she is too slow (not clear if she means just speed of getting things done, or slow witted) and the teacher says she's bad at things. DD also gets upset at being taken out of the fun things in class in order to do extra reading sessions, but given they can't take her our of reading lessons, I understand this.

How should I best approach the teacher about this loss of confidence and DD saying that she is bad at everything? I plan to e-mail her to ask for a meeting, but need to figure out how to make it as effective as possible.


irvineoneohone Mon 06-Jun-16 08:31:05

I don't have any good advice(sorry), but if she likes science, can't she read science books/ fact books, magazine , etc., rather than story books? If she doesn't enjoy reading, doing extra might make her hate it even more.

mrsmortis Mon 06-Jun-16 10:48:59

What is her reading level? There is a kids science magazine called Whizz Pop Bang that my DD loves. It's aimed at KS2 but if you are willing to read it with her then that might be an option. Just google the name to find it.

Also, I know it doesn't work for everyone, but have a look at ReadingEggs if you haven't already. My nephew was on the verge of being a reading refuser. My Mum got him a subscription and its made all the difference. (Generally there is an offer on that means you get a couple of weeks trial for free).

irvineoneohone Mon 06-Jun-16 16:58:45

Smartiepants79 Mon 06-Jun-16 17:07:16

We also like reading eggs.
Firstly you need to establish how serious this is. Get a reading level and find out what schools opinion is on the matter. What colour reading books is she being given because that will give you some idea where she's at if you look up the colour levels.
Do school think she may have a specific learning difficulty? Does she show any classic signs of dyslexia or anything else. Personally I'm very surprised school haven't made more of an effort to flag this up if she really is a year and half behind expected outcomes.
I think you need to start asking questions at school. What they're doing doesn't seem to be effective. And I disagree quite strongly with children being taken out of other things for 'extra' anything. The time already given to reading needs to be used more effectively.

PizzaFlavouredCupcake Mon 06-Jun-16 19:41:01

You should talk to the teacher about what could be done to improve. She may have mental difficulties, or she might just find the books boring and leave uninterested. Many kids will argue against additional training, but if she's crying at home and it's damaged her selfconfidence that much, it might be better. Try to tell her that more reading at home will help her at school at make it a positive experience for bothe ends as much as possible. Definatly (excuse my spelling), speak to teacher about steps your taking at home and find out how they do it at school. I hope this will help

Ferguson Mon 06-Jun-16 19:58:14

As a retired primary TA I agree with the the PP. How was she in nursery, Reception, Year 1, and why is it only now that serious attention is being applied to the problem?

I supported a family of children who had hardly been attending school until they got to Yr2, and then we had to virtually start them from scratch, and the parents were not used to using books.

Does she know her letter sounds, and can she recognise letters? Is her hearing/vision OK: obviously, if she can't see or hear properly then making sense of letters and words is going to be very difficult.

I will try to return sometime for clarification of those queries.

freshprincess Mon 06-Jun-16 20:06:00

We went through a stage of 'I'm the worst at everything, in so stupid'. When I told the teacher this, he was genuinely surprised DS would feel like that because DS was doing pretty well. Some of his friends were top table and he wasn't and I think that knocked his confidence. So definitely have a word and see what's going on.
For reading, ease off with the school books, try things she's interested in. Even if you do the reading and she just listens, she'll start to get the message that books aren't all slow torture.

TapStepBallChange Mon 06-Jun-16 21:09:06

She changed schools in September because we moved. She's never been good at reading, but in reception I think she was just over looked as she was well behaved, i always half joked she was just dismissed as pretty, but think.

She's been having reading interventions since half way through year 1, when her previous school she would get 0/40 on the phonics test without help. She knows her letters and most phonics sound by now (end of year 2), but does forget them regularly. She still struggles with on/no for/from and similar. She's just redone the phonics test, having failed it in year 1, I think she will have passed it this year, but I'm not certain. Her current school are doing extra reading with her once or twice a day, as well as reading in class, or as DD puts it, "all I do is reading, it's not fair, I hate reading, why do I have to do more reading than anyone else?"

Her hearing and vision are good, her vocabulary is good, she's very articulate, she remembers facts if told them verbally, she'll choose to watch David Attenborough and similar and can remember what she is told in the programme. She also loves stories if they are read to her, either by me and DH or in audio books. She'll remember the story, understand it and we can discuss it, she just can't actually read it. We've tried with books of lots of different types, but she just won't read it.

We've used Oxford Reading Tree at both schools, but they did them on different scales at each school. At the moment we do nightly reading and at the moment we are also doing word games, so we have letters and phonics on flash cards, and she and I take turns to make words, both real and alien and practice the sounds. We have asked what her reading age is, but the school have refused to give it. My guess is her reading level is somewhere around end of reception, beginning of year 1.

We have discussed dyslexia, but school aren't keen to go for an assessment yet.

While DH and I have been aware of the reading issues for a while, what is worrying me know is the comments and tears from DD in recent weeks about how bad she is at reading and how she is worse than everyone else. I need to help her regain confidence as well as continuing to work on the reading.

I'll definitely have a look at reading eggs and the other links

mouldycheesefan Mon 06-Jun-16 21:12:53

Why wouldn't you have a private dyslexia assessment? Don't wait for school to organise it! If she is age seven she can be assessed. It sounds like she is getting lots of extra help but is still very behind e.g in phonics. No wonder she is losing confidence poor girl. I think you are going to have to be more proactive and get the ball rolling on dyslexia assessment.

Sleeperandthespindle Mon 06-Jun-16 21:31:10

We had a private dyslexia assessment with DD in year 2, with similar issues (although not actually upset by it herself). We're still not certain of what to do next, but knowing the issues is helpful and I'm expecting school to support better in year 3.

freshprincess Mon 06-Jun-16 21:32:00

You need to ask the teacher what's going on in class, you will probably find she's by no means the worst, she just thinks she is, compared to her friends.
She sounds like my DS, he just didn't get it at all at that age. He hated reading, he was so stupid, he should be in reception with the babies etc etc. He had to go in early to do extra handwriting practice. He missed out on lunch breaks. It was hard for him.
He was tested at school, after A LOT of pestering from me, and he isn't dyslexic. I made a total nuisance of myself, literally every Friday when I picked him up I would ask about it. He was tested in year 3. I didn't have the money for a private assessment or I would have had that done.

But he did catch up, eventually. He's currently in bed 'sneakily' reading under the covers. When I remember all the tears we had over those school reading books and book colours, I couldnt be more pleased.

TapStepBallChange Wed 08-Jun-16 16:12:47

Many thanks for all the advice. I'm currently trying to sort out a date with the teacher. I've also e-mail a private ed psych I spoke to last yr about the possibility of getting DD assessed. It's tricky as i work full time, so usually I'm picking up from after school club,but I'm trying to work at home once a week, as does DH so we can do pick up.

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