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bullying, teachers, what do you do?

(10 Posts)
tigrou Mon 23-May-16 09:33:55

As a parent, when my child says she's being bullied, I tell her to go to the teacher.

As a teacher, what would you do? My daughter (10) is suffering from name-calling and catty girl meanness. It makes her cry. She had no close group of friends to help her feel better. She is lonely and protects herself by reading at play times. If I tell her to talk to the teacher if other people make her cry with their teasing, what could the teacher actually do?

oktimetodoit Mon 23-May-16 10:46:27

That sounds awful for you Dd sad. Not a teacher but I should imagine the teacher may have a chat with the whole class about what you have mentioned above. If this doesn't help a chat with the children concerned maybe?

Going by what you have said I would go in and have a chat with the teacher tigrou. I used to tell my dd to tell the teacher or dinner ladies and she was just told to stop fussing hmm. Unfortunately she didn't tell me this until after she had been branded the bully because she started to say things back, their mums came in and dd now has to stay away from them. Although this sounds unfair I'm glad in a way because those girls are now being actively kept away from my Dd to 'protect' them from her and as a result she is 100% happier at breaktimes.

tigrou Mon 23-May-16 12:40:58

Thing is, I feel having the teacher address the class about will just single her out and stigmatise her even more, and the bullies will see that they've got to her. And although it started with a small group of mean girls, it's spread to the whole year group with many just jumping gon the bandwagon because it's fun rather than from any bad feeling towards dd.
I'm trying to see it from a teacher's point of view - really, what to do?
I'm glad your dd is happier now oktimetodoit

MadSprocker Mon 23-May-16 13:19:51

The teacher could set up a buddy system with another child and offer some pastoral support to your daughter.

sparepantsandtoothbrush Mon 23-May-16 13:53:09

If the whole year group are doing it, it really is time for you to step in and talk to the teacher. Your DD needs to know you've got her back. Praise her up for trying to sort it herself but enough is enough

Witchend Mon 23-May-16 14:02:11

You need to talk to the teacher. The teacher can approach it in a "I've seen" or a "I will be looking out for this behaviour" type way.
They don't need to say someone has complained.

Fairenuff Mon 23-May-16 21:54:52

The school will have a bullying policy. Speak to the teacher and ask them to let you know when they've had a chance to put some prevention measures in place so that you can talk it over with your dd in an informed way.

Cleo1303 Tue 24-May-16 09:51:49

You should email the teacher, explain the situation and say you would like to meet her to discuss it. Also copy in the Head.

At DD's school (although they were younger at the time) they all had to design an anti-bullying poster and this was preceded by a lesson about bullying and the types of bullying. Actually there was hardly ever any bullying but a very small minority of the girls could be catty. DD never had any problems but I told her to stand up for anyone if they were being upset by unkind remarks.

She would look at the perpetrator and say, "Were you born nasty, or do you practice every morning in front of the mirror?" Or, "It's not cool to be nasty, it's dumb." Maybe your DD could try that?

You must be glad she only has a short time to go at that school.

tigrou Tue 24-May-16 11:08:28

Good ideas Cleo - yes, she's moving on soon, and will be joining good friends, so no long-term worries

Cleo1303 Tue 24-May-16 14:28:26

That's good. She just needs to be strong for a little while.

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