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hour appt to meet teacher

(24 Posts)
Moogletea Sun 22-May-16 09:21:47

DD is due to start primary school in Sept. On letter of acceptance we got a pre booked appointment of an hour to meet her teacher in June. DD is adopted and this was declared in our application
Is this a special appointment due to her circumstances or is this a common thing? I'm happy about the meeting but don't want to ask other parents also going to the school incase it's not common. I don't want to draw attention to DD as her adoption is not common knowledge. We already have had other parents question how we got school place as we are out of area (chose this school as they know they have excellent support ) and the school was oversubscribed so some in area have not been able to get in. I've brushed off questions and am not prepared to discuss specifics of our application but am curious to know if a meeting before is typical

EarthboundMisfit Sun 22-May-16 09:25:06

Is it definitely an individual meeting?

shouldwestayorshouldwego Sun 22-May-16 09:27:03

Yes, it is quite normal, we had a questionnaire to complete too, I think that it was at the beginning of September when they were on half days. The teacher also visited them in their preschools. I can't say for your school though.

Moogletea Sun 22-May-16 09:27:21

Yes. Says 1-2-1 on it. There's another general session we are invited to on an evening where general topics will be covered. But this appointment states 1-2-1 with us and our DD to meet teacher

AHellOfABird Sun 22-May-16 09:31:46

We had a 15 minute 1 2 1 I think, so it may well be owing to your DD's circumstances. Hopefully a good thing that they are being proactive.

If people already know you are out of "catchment" then they may well guess at the adoption and school might want to
Check how you'd like them to Hadley this.

tethersend Sun 22-May-16 09:44:47

A meeting with the teacher is not unusual, but given that your DD is adopted, they may need to discuss additional things with you.

Checking whether the adoption is common knowledge, whether your DD knows, any emotional needs she has, how they should spend her pupil premium and whether she can be in photographs etc. might mean they've allotted a bit more time.

Sounds like you picked a good school in any case smile

Brokenbiscuit Sun 22-May-16 09:51:02

We had a 1:1 meeting with dd's teacher before she started in reception. No special circumstances, it's just what the school did. Don't remember how long it was but we did have quite a lot of time.

Moogletea Sun 22-May-16 09:53:47

Thanks all. I'm really happy with meeting just didn't want to trip myself up assuming that everyone had the same appointment. As a precaution I won't mention unless anyone else does. And I'll ask at the meeting anyway smile

TeenAndTween Sun 22-May-16 10:56:03

You could ring the school office and ask whether it is standard, or just due to your 'circumstances'.

re Adoption.

We have never kept our DDs' adoption secret, though we have not explained the reasons behind it. For me I would find making friends with other parents hard and keeping such an important thing hidden. So in your situation I would just breezily say 'oh DC is adopted so we get higher priority'. Job done.
However, I know that different adopters have different views on this, and you have to do whatever you feel comfortable with.
My DD's have never had any problems from other children due to being adopted, though of course they have had questions that we have helped them answer.

Things to watch out for in primary schools

- reception classes sometimes have a tendency to ask for photos from when they were small (to support growing and changing topics). They may also do 'who is in my family' topics which depending on how your DC views things may raise issues.
- be very clear with the school what you do / do not accept wrt photographs. I make a point of ensuring the new class teacher is aware each year directly so if they are taking photos they aren't taken by surprise when the office safeguarding says we can't publish them
- schools sometimes get NSPCC in to do assemblies which could be triggering
- other things we have hit later on (Juniors) include writing biographies, stuff to do with evacuation in the war
- I write down a potted history of relevant info and points to watch that I hand to teacher each year. Never assume info is passed on.

Best wishes

bojorojo Sun 22-May-16 12:10:22

I think a meeting can only be beneficial. I think it is a good sign that they wish to discuss your child's education with you. You will almost certainly get questions over how you obtained a place at the school and others did not. I cannot remember if PP funding for the school is triggered by adoption, so the school may wish to work with you over spending this if the funding is triggered. It is a positive move by the school in my book!

irvineoneohone Sun 22-May-16 12:19:36

My ds has complex health issue, so school requested meeting before he started reception. It was very good, we discussed all the worry and expectation etc. in detail, and all the possible absences due to hospital appointment. It was good to talk to teacher/head before some problem has arisen.

KittyandTeal Sun 22-May-16 12:27:28

I would think it will be a slightly more detailed meeting because your Dd falls under the 'looked after' category (which I don't think properly describes adopted children but that's the dfe way)

I would think they will want to know a few details about her adoption, possibly not the exactly circumstances but maybe if they were extreme or distressing so they will be aware of any future emotional implications. As a school we will automatically offer play therapy to looked after children, however, if they are already having ss therapy we cannot offer it. It will be things like this.

Think about how much information you are willing to share with them and stick to it.

As you have alluded to, this is a meeting so they will know how best to care for your Dd.

purplebaglady Sun 22-May-16 12:29:34

We had a one to one meeting for an hour with reception teacher in our home. It was lovely to meet her and I'm so glad they do this. She met with all the new children and parents this way every year I believe.

KittyandTeal Sun 22-May-16 12:37:22

Oooooh is it a home visit?

In that case absolutely everyone will have them. Takes ages for us to do but it's brilliant, so helpful to see children and parents together in their own environment and a bit more relaxed

Ilovewillow Sun 22-May-16 12:43:44

I don't know if this is usual as we didn't have this but it doesn't sounds beyond the realms! Our teacher visit us at home the day before our daughter started, this is their practise so 1:1 sounds as if it's what happens to all new children!

smellyboot Sun 22-May-16 19:49:44

At our school people, just tend to tell people if their place is a LAC one. It stops years of gossip about how you got a place and whether you cheated.
It also tends to make people understand why e.g. They must not have photos taken willy nilly and posted on social media.
It's often easier to just to tell the truth and knock speculation and suspicion dead.

SuburbanRhonda Sun 22-May-16 19:54:24

Adopted children are counted as Looked After? Are you sure?

Cockadoodledooo Sun 22-May-16 20:12:21

Our school do a home visit for all new reception children, plus the teacher at least corresponds with/attempts to visit them in their preschool/nursery settings. Quite normal ime.

Moogletea Sun 22-May-16 20:12:23

Thanks all. I just didn't fancy telling all and sundry re adoption. Obviously those that need to know know but didn't really want it to be a thing with all the other mothers etc. DD knows and will probably in her way tell (she told some random in tesco the other weekconfused) so it's not a big secret. I just don't want to have to feed the gossips (The bunch of mums from preschool that are skirting round how we got a place)

smellyboot Sun 22-May-16 20:13:19

In our LA and most if not all LA, as far as I am aware, LAC includes previously looked after children from within the UK. In our school there are quite a lot, but you would never know if they hadn't mentioned it. Some of my DC friends have been adopted at birth or very young. Others were adopted later at age 3+. All are treated the same.
Some live within the normal distance catchment but some who live just outside of the distance area: so people do raise an eyebrow if they don't know how they got in. Our school is very big but also very over subscribed so people are suspicious in that critical admissions round for reception's obvious who lives a fair distance away as soon as play dates and stuff get arranged or if they were not in the school nursery or other local nurseries where most of the other DC come from.
It OPs choice of course, but just thought I'd mention it.

smellyboot Sun 22-May-16 20:16:01

You may find that the gossips shut their mouths if they are cut dead. OP you got your place by fair means. Tell the, so and ask that they don't speculate

KingLooieCatz Mon 23-May-16 08:05:05

We had a home visit from teachers before DS started, everyone did. It was about 15 minute!So not a great return on using a days annual leave and having to wait in for the afternoon.

There was an adopted child in DSreception class and the mumwas very open about it. Your situation may be completely different of course, but this little boy had behvioural problems and I think the child and parents got a lot more support and understanding because people understood the situation. What could have been the naughtiest boy who hits out and doesn't get invited to parties becomes a little boy who has faced enormous challenges in his little life and his parents are doing everything they can.Hope that makes sense.

Also explained how they got a place when the class was full.

TeenAndTween Mon 23-May-16 09:25:54

Suburban Children adopted through the UK care system count as 'ex Looked After' and get a lot of the same consideration as currently 'Looked after' children.

In particular they get priority for school places over and above anyone except statemented (old terminology) children. Except for faith schools who are allowed to place children of faith above non-faith LAC hmm

They also qualify for Pupil Premium Plus which is extra higher rate funding of about £1900/£1600 per year in recognition that even though now adopted they are likely to have additional emotional / education needs. It is mean to be spent for the benefit of the child, though other children can benefit too. e.g. PP money can be used to fund a TA for interventions, or attachment training for staff, or something to raise self esteem such as a paid for place at a drama club held on site.

Note that step parent adoption or overseas adoption does not count for either of these.

TeenAndTween Mon 23-May-16 10:00:14

(Info correct for England. Don't know about Scottish/Welsh/NI systems)

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