Please remind me of all the reasons it doesn't matter what reading level she's on...

[FrecklyEthel]

Oh god, I just need some perspective...

She's fine, I know she is (DD2), and they're obsessed with the phonics test in which she's getting extra help, but again she's come out and her best friend has moved up and she hasn't and it's making her hate reading no matter how many times we say it doesn't matter.

I've spoken to the teacher who says shes struggling, I've spoken to the head who says not to worry and any moment she'll 'take off'. But my otherwise bright, confident, savvy six year old thinks she's 'stupid' (her words) because her books have a different coloured sticker... Sigh...

[CopperPot]

Because SHE'S SIX!

[Toocold]

It's so hard, it was the same for my ds when he was six, he had a friend who constantly told him he was below him ( don't get me started on his dad!) they are now eight and the Beano got my ds to read and lo and behold he is in a higher group than the friend, it's all swings and roundabouts really, my ds now reads fluently and I honestly never thought it would happen. My ds also compared himself and said he was no good but with encouragement and perseverance he got there in the end. Could you try some comics? , maybe the library for books she has picked herself? I do understand as my dd was a bookworm and it was so hard not to compare them.

[Toocold]

And as Cooperpot said she is six, but hard to think that when you are in the midst of it!

[FrecklyEthel]

Yep, these are good, thank you...

Keep 'em coming x

[PerspicaciaTick]

Take her to the library and let her choose some books for the sheer enjoyment of the stories. Maybe a picture book, one which she might realistically have a stab at herself and a shorter chapter book - but really just let her choose. Read together, if that means you doing all the reading and her just relaxing and becoming absorbed in the story and pictures then go with the flow.
Phonics is important, but it isn't the be all and end all of reading and literacy. I bet Jane Austen didn't learn to read phonetically, but she did learn to love storytelling and literature by reading with her family.

[user789653241]

My ds in yr3 is a free reader. The boy in his class who never liked reading when he was in yr1(his mum told me he was struggling) is a free reader as well, and excelling everybodyelse in ds's class.
Just keep reading with her. By yr3, a lot children become similar levels.
What make a lot difference is that you carry on. Find books she enjoys.

[PortiaCastis]

My dd was terribly behind with reading and writing and well almost everything in yr2. I just kept reading to her and taking her to the library and now at 17 she is doing A2s having gained 11 A-C grades at GCSE 3 of which were A* .
If we were out walking or in town I'd point out things and say look a shop with a name and sound the name. Eventually dd had a breakthrough and could read and say the shop names herself and I would give her a small pencil or a sticker.
Not sure if things are taught the same now but keep pointing out things say what they are and everything will be fine

[WhattodoSue]

Tell her that everyone learns to read and it is hard work, and that sometimes it is harder for some people than others in the early stages, but that the most important thing isn't how quickly you learn because ultimately she will be just as brilliant a reader as the other children. What is most important is enjoying stories, so it is more important that she likes the books you read to her :) I'd get her to choose some books she really wants to read and read them together. And bribe her with a reward for the books she reads (chocolate button or a sticker).

[FrecklyEthel]

Thank you, I will, I promise...

We love books in this house, DS and I are bookworms (DH perhaps not quite so much ) and I don't this to suck the love out of her

[28DegreesIsTooHot]

My kids were never interested in the school books so we used to go to the library and get books on dinosaurs, snakes and spiders and whatever else they were into.

They started to enjoy books then.

[Ilovewillow]

Have a look at the reading chest you can get books sent to you for the correct reading band but the choice is much wider and then you send them back when finished (library without the travel)! They will issue certificates for number of books read etc. We used them throughout infants as my daughter prefers non-fiction! They really do all get there!

[nicp123]

How about actually explaining to her that we are ALL different? EVERYBODY is good at something! Emphasise her strengths and encourage her to try harder if she wants so much to succeed. Hard work pays off eventually she will progress. Is all about readiness... we all crawl before walk but at different rates and stages in our development. She is only six, thinking she is the centre of the Universe and jealousy is common. Happy reading. Good luck.

[Ripeberry]

Don't worry! My DD was rubbish at reading in year 2 until year 5. And then all of a sudden something 'clicked' and she now reads all day long. Managed to read ALL the Harry Potter books in a week!
Continue to encourage and things will fall into place.

[MrsPnut]

Get her reading everything except the bloody school books.
Road signs, items in the supermarket, books from the library, comics, etc.
Go on an adventure and tell her she needs to direct you by reading the signs, help her to recognise the word she is looking for and praise her every time she can spot it up and about.

[neolara]

If it's any consolation, I recently had a conversation with a mum who was saying how depressing it was that their dc had started school as the high achieving early reader, and over the years his attainment has been overtaken by half the class. Her view was it would have been better to start behind and then be the one overtaking everyone.

You dd will suddenly just get it and then will fly. In years time you honestly won't give this a second thought.

[Micah]

Both mine had no interest in reading in ks1. Fortunately the school were very laid back about it, said it would come eventually.

Part of the problem was they weren't interested in biff and chip, but harry potter, david walliams etc was beyond them.

Once they got to yr3 they really started to gain ground as the reading clicked and by yr 6 are amongst the top in their peer group.

I will say dont force it. My mum was constantly on my back, telling me if i sat down with them for 20 minutes a night and made them read they'd learn more quickly. However that is what she did with my sister, who just learned that reading is a chore and has never read a book for pleasure.

[lostscot]

Both mine weren't able readers in reception, yr 1 or even into yr2 ds is now yr 3 and ddyr5 and both are very able readers. Ds in particular hated the school books so we read anything he wanted and I found some Oxford reading tree that were space themed stories that went through the stages that teacher was happy he read instead of biff and chip. We've now donated them to school for the other uninterested boys!
It will come eventually and for now just find stuff that interests her whatever it is.

[Imperialleather2]

Seriously she's fine. Phonics don't work for all children. My son is a sight reader and just hates phonics.

I've just bought the David William worst children book. I read to ds and then get him to read the odd sentence here and there and the chapter names etc.

I tried Road Dahl and he liked the stories but didn't like the lack of pictures!

I also.figure that reading him more complex stories will help with his comprehension etc.

[Mishaps]

They all get there in the end - my DD was 10 before she had the vaguest clue about reading. She now has an MA.

It's not a race - just read to her lots so she can see what the point of it all is!

[lougle]

My DD3 was very behind in year 1 (still on pink band) remained quite behind at the beginning of year 2 and was on Orange band until last week. She was very reluctant to read. I finally shrugged my shoulders and said to her "you hate Biff, Chip and Kipper. I hate Biff, Chip and Kipper. They're dull and they're boring, but they're the books you've been given and you're not going to get anywhere unless you read them. When you've read those you can read some interesting books.

She came home late last week having jumped two book bands to purple

[DoinItFine]

She's 6.

In lots of countries she wouldn't even be learning to read yet.

It drives me bananas that they force the reading thing on kids like this.

There is no rush.

Remember when she learned to walk and how much better/worse she is at walking than her peers who started before her/after her?

No! Because 5 years on it signifies nothing.

Except nobody taught her to hate walking from and that she was stupid based on her performance.

It's great that you are such bookworms because you have so much credibility here.

She will come to reading when she'saw ready. In the meantime let her enjoy all the ways she is smart. What does she love?

That's what's for her right now.

Poor kid. What a shit system.

[Peasandsweetcorn]

Is there anything your DD can do which her best friend can't? If so, can you remind your DD of this? Mine is a whizz on the monkey bars which carries huge kudos in the playground and reminding DD of this in my "everyone is different" chat does help her.

[Foofoobum]

I wish kids were allowed to learn thro play until 7.
With my brother my mum used to read his dull reading books to him (instead of other way round)but got the words all wrong so he'd have to correct her. It became a game and it really improved his confidence thinking he had to correct his mother's awful reading. It was fun, very silly and relieved the boredom.
With Dd we abandoned school reading books quite quickly in favour of books she was interested in.