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Ripping work out of DS English book

(20 Posts)
Verbena37 Mon 16-May-16 16:07:22

Really annoyed.
DS (yr 6) just came home to tell me that without warning, his English teacher, having seen him doodling a bit on a picture he was asked to do by his other English tescher, rather than warn him to stop it and listen, went over to the book, ripped out the whole page and screwed it up and binned it.

DS has HF ASD and likes to doodle sometimes whilst he is listening or doing other stuff. However, he also turns to doodling I think, when he doesn't understand something or is bored. How mean, I think, to destroy a picture (it was one he had been asked to draw to match an extract about knights they had read) without first giving him a warning.

He is really upset. He had drawn a battlefield with knights and apple trees.
Mean old tescher.....well actually, she is quite young and a mum......and an ofsted inspector in her last job I believe.

Wolfiefan Mon 16-May-16 16:09:25

Do you know that no warning was given?
It's not mean to try to make students concentrate.

Verbena37 Mon 16-May-16 16:11:56

He swears bond she didn't tell him off for doodling.....just told him earlier not to play with a glue stick kid in his hand.

I've even spoken to his class tescher about him holding things in his hands whilst learning. He isn't doing just helps him feel more calm.

Verbena37 Mon 16-May-16 16:12:43

Plus, she could have just taken the book off him.
Ripping something up to me means she has lots her a parent would when they smack a child.

Verbena37 Mon 16-May-16 16:13:13

That should read blind, not bond.

Wolfiefan Mon 16-May-16 16:16:02

Does sound like she was fed up. Maybe she's sick of issuing reminders?
Perhaps a meeting with the school to discuss how to avoid situations like this in future. I have taught one child who NEEDED to doodle. I bought a pad that stayed in class and I put out for him every lesson so he wouldn't spoil his work. He was concentrating. How about dedicated fiddle toys? As long as they help him focus rather than acting as more of a distraction.

Verbena37 Mon 16-May-16 16:18:32

He gets very anxious and doesn't want to stick out so fiddle toys would be a no I think.
He leaves for secondary soon.
I'm just fed up with none of his teachers being linked up....I've previously asked his form tescher to mention he fiddling to other teachers.

irvineoneohone Mon 16-May-16 17:05:04

Ripping work sound wrong, even if he was being warned. It's not nice thing for teacher to do.
Fiddling can be really annoying. My ds used to fiddle anything, and told off by teacher so many times in reception. I didn't know MN back then, so I wasn't even aware that was his coping/concentration mechanism. Finally he started taking a bit of blu tack in his pocket and fiddled inside it.
Some children in my ds's school are allowed to have fiddle toys. Can you find something for him to fiddle but not too distractive to others?
And I think you should really come up with some strategy with school how to deal with this, especially when he goes to new school, to stop unnecessary problem. Linking seems to be a problem, but I learned that, I have to make sure they are informed, not hoping and expecting everything works well within school.

irvineoneohone Mon 16-May-16 18:07:19


Wolfiefan Mon 16-May-16 18:10:19

Could he keep a fiddle toy in a pocket?
I would want to find coping strategies before he starts secondary.

facebookrecruit Mon 16-May-16 18:11:32

Sounds like the teacher needs to get a grip to me Hun hmm

Verbena37 Mon 16-May-16 19:28:10


DS telling me not to raise it with school.....and DH told me on phone not to either or it could make her worse and pick on him more.

I disagree. She needs to know his behaviour reflects on her inability to understand him and that tearing up his work isn't the way of solving anything.

irvineoneohone Mon 16-May-16 19:53:30

I don't think it's a good idea to say something like "reflects on her inability" , I think it just makes situation and relationship with school/teacher worse...

But I would tell her that I am not happy about her ripping something that belong to dc, it just seems very disrespectful.

kitkat1968 Mon 16-May-16 20:18:08

YABU after 7 years of fulltime school your DS well knows the basic behavioural expectations of school.

Verbena37 Mon 16-May-16 21:05:03

Irvine I wouldn't say that to her. I just know that she doesn't try to understand him.
kitkat did you see the bit about him having high functioning autism? Whilst he knows the rules and is a really good boy, a bit of doodling is his way of listening to her and calming himself.

She shouldn't be ripping up work of any child. There are so many other ways she could have dealt with it.

momtothree Mon 16-May-16 23:14:13

a bit of doodling is his way of listening to her and calming himself

I work in a school and have tested this theory - all the children functioned normally - and yes they can listen and draw at the same time - the brain relaxes and they are thinking about what they hear

However - I have seen many teachers dislike children doing this!

Verbena37 Tue 17-May-16 00:07:30

There is really cool senco guy I follow on Twitter and he uses differentiated discipline and it works really well. They let secondary kids doodle and even have a doodle wall to pin their doodle art.

DS has said he has given up trying to sit still because she has blamed him for doing naughty stuff he hasn't done. Once, just after Christmas, she even said "I bet it was ***", assuming my DS had lobbed something across the room. It took two of the girls to say to her actually it wasn't him, to make her rethink. I was fuming but said nothing then either.
She seems to pick on him.

strawberrybubblegum Tue 17-May-16 07:14:41

It does sound like she lost her cool - not on to rip up his picture.

If he doesn't want you to speak to the school, then I would be inclined to respect that for a year 6 child (not sure how his HFA impacts his ability to judge what will change if you do/don't though).

I'm sure you've talked it through with him, helped him to understand what happened, and reassured him that you're there if he needs you. Have you tried brainstorming with him for solutions?

Verbena37 Tue 17-May-16 09:27:55

Thanks strawberry.....brainstorming is tricky.....if there more than one piece of info at once, he melts down!!

oktimetodoit Tue 17-May-16 10:01:41

Verbena I completely see where you are coming from and I do think its a bit OTT for the page to be ripped from the book. My Ds does exactly the same thing and no matter how much I try to explain that he is listening etc we do encounter the same teachers who simply see it as not paying attention these are also the ones who like to force eye contact. I have actually had a teacher refer to me as a 'fool' in the past to Ds in front of the whole class because I dared to give him some blue tack to fiddle with in his pocket one day....that didn't go down well with Ds! I will be watching this thread for ideas. smile

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