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Son was the only one that didn't get a 'letter'

(21 Posts)
bordellosboheme Wed 11-May-16 14:53:11

DS 4 started school in January. He told me today that yesterday he was the only one that didn't get a letter, and the teacher told him, there wasn't one for him. DS has something that makes him visibly different, and I would hate it to be because of that - could it have been a party invite or something??

HumphreyCobblers Wed 11-May-16 14:57:00

It is unlikely to be a party invitation if the teacher gave it out. I would check if he really was the only one without a letter, it could be that the child on either side of him got one and he didn't? 4 year olds perceive things very differently sometimes. It could be something about school uniform ordered, or that the other children need a repeat hearing test, anything really! I would try not to worry.

bordellosboheme Wed 11-May-16 14:59:52

Ah you think it could be about a hearing test? DS wear hearing aids and is under the audiologist, so is tested already. Do children have hearing tests as routine at that age? I will try not to worry -I would just hate for him to get left out of anything.

MiniMover Wed 11-May-16 15:01:56

No way to tell without asking. I'd go in at pick up and say your DS said he didn't get his school letter and you wondered if there was a newsletter or something he should have brought home. You'll be able to gauge from the teacher's reaction whether it was a school letter or something such as a party invitation. Although IMO Reception teachers shouldn't be handing these out unless there's one for all children. And I'd be bloody fuming if they handed them out to all but your DS or even all but <5. By prepared though that you may not find out exactly what it was. Are you/is your DS friendly with any other mums you could check this with?

Welcome to the hideous world of classroom party invite angst.

meridithssister Wed 11-May-16 15:03:10

My daughter is in reception and had a hearing check at school which I had to give consent for, so that may well be it.

MiniMover Wed 11-May-16 15:03:38

Xposted. My children had both sight and hearing checks in Reception. If your DS is under the audiologist it could well be the hearing test and he may then be correct about being the only child not to get one.

HumphreyCobblers Wed 11-May-16 15:09:03

As a primary teacher I wouldn't think it remotely possible that your son would be left out of any school activity due to his hearing, I really would try not to worry about that.

Most schools have a policy of only handing out invitations if to the whole class.

I would go and ask the teacher to put your mind at rest, but I bet you find there is a perfectly normal explanation for the situation that is not problematic for your little boy.

OurBlanche Wed 11-May-16 15:15:22

If it is the audiologist then ask if they could help him feel more settled by sending him home with a letter too - it could just say "We sent out a letter about X but DS obviouls==sly won't be incuded. I hope he felt more included with this, his very own letter"

DSIS teaches Yr1/2 and has been known to do similar with her classes.

bordellosboheme Wed 11-May-16 19:09:54

Thanks for these replies! It is indeed a brave new world of social etiquette and party invite angst. It takes nerves of steel doesn't it!!?

It does sound like it might be something like the hearing test though! I would like to hope that teachers don't give out selective party invites - that would be most divicive

AnnaMarlowe Wed 11-May-16 19:12:24

Are you friendly with any if the other Mums? Just ask what the more was about.

AnnaMarlowe Wed 11-May-16 19:12:56

note not more obvs grin

Myothercarisalsoshit Sat 14-May-16 20:28:54

Infant teacher here - there's really nothing we can do about party invitations. Most children just can't afford to invite the whole class to a party so inevitably some children will not be invited. I do allow children in my class to give out their invitations but in a very low key way. Unfortunately your child will inevitably be left out of some events. It's up to you to not make a big deal out of it. It's not something that generally worries most infant aged children in my experience. They usually understand the reasons for it.

FanDabbyFloozy Sun 15-May-16 22:44:02

I think it may be for hearing or eyesight tests, if your DS is having these elsewhere. I know my DD was upset not to get the letter about eyesight tests but the teacher explained she didn't need one as she was being seen in another capacity.

My dd is in reception, first we received letters asking for permission to do the hearing test and then afterwards only the ones that failed got another letter.
Same for eye test, my dd failed and we were referred on.
She then admitted she had failed the first one as she really really wanted to wear glasses grin
Her eyesight was then seemed perfect much to her dismay.

I'm sure it's something very innocent.

ThenLaterWhenItGotDark Mon 16-May-16 06:32:30

Teachers do give out selective party invites. Often. So get ready for that moment of joy.

I guess you've been and asked the teacher about the letter though now?

rainbowunicorn Mon 16-May-16 23:13:18

You could try looking on your school website if they have one. All letters home from all year groups are put on ours so you could check and see if there has been something

lyonkit Tue 17-May-16 03:30:56

Does he have any siblings? I've been in classes where only the oldest child in the family gets a copy of school-wide letters just to save on paper.

Ledkr Tue 17-May-16 03:42:22

Dd is reception and also wears hearing aids, she didn't have a hearing test but I had a letter previously about some other tests and I just filled it out to say no hearing test but she had height/weight/sight.
Just ask the teacher, I would.

Blu Tue 17-May-16 04:09:34

He might not have been the only one not to get a letter, whatever it was, but perceived that he was if he saw lots being given out around him.

greenfolder Tue 17-May-16 07:07:19

In my dds school the teaching assistant will put party invites into the children's bags on a Friday afternoon with all other letters ( nursery and reception). I don't think they are likely to waive them around.

MiaowTheCat Tue 17-May-16 08:00:17

Could be stuff like dinner money reminders or similar as well.

I never got into the whole can of worms handing party invites out when I taught reception purely for this sort of reason - I'd get them popped into book bags when there was a spare minute of the day, or I'd let the birthday kids post them into the relevant trays if they were at the point they could read the names on them but wouldn't hand them out in class.

It's crap when you're worried your child might be left out - DD1 is pretty regularly left out of party invitations (we're not quite at full class party stage yet) and while she never seems to notice as the parents are at least relatively restrained in how they handle it at the school gates, I feel upset for her and it's quite hard to make sure I don't project that onto her (hopefully I'm doing OK on that front!)

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