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missing playtime as a punishment

(17 Posts)
GladGladys Wed 27-Apr-16 18:59:29

DD (5, Yr 1) came out of school today wearing socks instead of tights. Her teacher came over and said they had been learning about capacity with water and DD had got a bit wet and I said it was only water and didn't matter. Teacher agreed and said she had a good day.

Got in the car with DD and she was very quiet. I asked what the matter was and she said she missed playtime. I asked why and if she was the only one and she said that three other children missed it too for messing about with the water and getting wet and two others were playing with them but ran off and didn't miss playtime. DD seemed unsure what she had done wrong and didn't think she had been messing about and was just doing what they had been said and I was confused as thought the teacher would have mentioned this after school as I was talking to her.

I may be being PFB, but is missing playtime still used as a punishment for bad behaviour? I asked if she had to stay inside and DD said hey had to stand at the side of the playground watching everyone else play.

I feel like I need to talk to the teacher about this as I don't think missing playtime is something that should happen to children, and that she didn't mention it to me, but not sure if I am being PFB or not. Can anyone give some insight please? Many thanks.

irvineoneohone Wed 27-Apr-16 19:10:18

Missing play time always happened at my ds's school. And I totally back up teachers. The children learn the lesson to listen to teachers, don't mess about if you don't want to lose any play time. Nothing wrong with getting wet, but if it was a result of my ds messing about while teacher was trying to teach them something, and he lost play time because of it, I will tell my ds off for not behaving. And my ds lost some play time over the years, but teacher never actually told me about it. It's not a big deal, I think.

TheTroubleWithAngels Wed 27-Apr-16 19:15:17

Fair enough, imo.

As a teacher, I wouldn't be making a big deal of it if the child was normally good and it was just over-excitement. So it would be a missed playtime and the matter dealt with.

She must have been soaked to have to take her tights off.

soapboxqueen Wed 27-Apr-16 19:38:26

Schools have very few punishments available to them as it is. Missing playtime is fine. If it became a regular thing I'd be asking for a behaviour plan.

Witchend Wed 27-Apr-16 19:38:31

It was probably before you go out to play you need to change your tights. Very apt.

Newes Wed 27-Apr-16 19:41:44

A more suitable consequence would have been to miss as much of playtime as it took to change into socks and to help clear up the water.
5 yr olds standing out of playtime for something so minor is not a good sanction.

Blondemummy1975 Wed 27-Apr-16 20:03:55

Missing 5 mins of playtime would have got the message through; missing the whole of playtime and being made to watch is cruel. For the childs age that is disproportionate and she has clearly been worrying about it. As she doesn't understand what she did wrong it's a pointless sanction anyway. I would go in and have a chat

Flossiesmummy Wed 27-Apr-16 20:28:09

As an ex-teacher, I'd say back the teacher 100% on things like this.

The amount of times a parent came to speak to me about things like this, truly believing that their child didn't do anything/ didn't understand/ wasn't warned beggars belief.

I'm a parent too, so I know it sucks when you feel your kid might have been in trouble. Even more so if you truly think they didn't deserve to be.

However, the teacher has to manage the behaviour of 30 kids at once, whilst also trying to teach them stuff. It's blummin hard work. I'm betting he/she gave clear expectations of behaviour before the activity and those messing around were dealt with promptly and firmly.

30 kids + water activity = not for the faint of heart!

Hope that helps

thanks

tethersend Wed 27-Apr-16 20:33:05

I'm also an ex-teacher and I think a year one child missing playtime as a punishment makes as much sense as them missing maths. Play is a vital part of their learning.

Fine to give a consequence, but I'm amazed they have no other strategies than missing playtime.

irvineoneohone Wed 27-Apr-16 20:48:37

So as a teacher, what would you do? tethersend?
Teacher had to deal with the children getting wet and sort them out. Lose teaching time for other children etc, etc. I know my ds would mess about and get into trouble in the situation like this, but I thought punishment was appropriate as a parent.

Crouchendmumoftwo Wed 27-Apr-16 21:10:09

Better than being hit with a ruler as I was in the 70s!

tethersend Wed 27-Apr-16 21:19:41

What I would do would depend on the child. Some children would respond to a conversation, some may have a responsibility removed, some simply need a natural consequence of clearing up the water. To be honest, I would expect quite a bit of splashing and play when exploring the capacity of water with 5&6 year olds, and wouldn't be looking to punish children who got a bit carried away.

irvineoneohone Wed 27-Apr-16 21:29:43

Thank you tethersend. Although I don't disagree with teachers punishing by taking away play time, I would love my ds to have teacher like you. You sound lovely.

quarkandmarmite Wed 27-Apr-16 21:34:32

I find it odd that the teacher did not mention that your DD was being rather silly with the water when she explained about the tights. But are you sure she missed her playtime because of the water incident 'in the way she told you'?

I have yet met a 5 year old who tells the absolute truth! Seriously! I am not saying that what she said is a pack of lies but children are very apt (even the more shy, vulnerable and 'good' ones) at telling you the tale they 'want' you to hear! So on that reason, i would, absolutely, speak to the teacher but be mindful of how you approach the subject. Something along the lines of; "DD came home and said she had missed playtime but I am not getting the full picture. I don't suppose you can enlighten me as to what happened?"

As for a punishment - yes. It is a consequence a lot of schools adopt, mine included. Although how a school dishes them out is entirely up to them. In our school missed playtime happens for one of two reasons; not completing work/not completing it properly when all past work shows they are capable of doing so and of course not playing safely due to repeatedly being silly after being told/shown what to do and being deliberately hurtful. For those children who are repeat offenders of the latter, a programme of social games is put in place. We have two children who do not play unsupervised and given structure and at lunchtimes they swap activities between indoors and outdoors. Obviously this does not refer to your child, but wanted to give you a picture of what staff are likely to do!

So yep! Go and speak to the teacher but do not form any opinion or preconceptions as to what happened because 9/10 parents realise that the consequence was justified. No school pleases every parent!

SecretSquirrelsSecretFriend Wed 27-Apr-16 21:43:10

We have detention at the school I work in. From P1 up. It involves missing playtime or lunchtime, filling out a reflection sheet and sitting outside the office.

Parents are always informed though.

GladGladys Wed 27-Apr-16 23:27:47

Thanks for all the replies.

I must admit I am surprised that so many think that missing playtime is ok, and agree with the PP who said it is pointless in children of this age.

There were quite a few other children coming out in various items of pe kits dues to getting wet, which I would expect of children this age, but DD mentioned by name the other children who missed playtime and there were more than them coming out in pe kit.

I think I will approach the teacher tomorrow, just to find out the facts as understand DD may sometimes not understand the entire picture. I think what I was lost surprised by was that DD was upset by it and the teacher only mentioned the tights as DD seems upset at missing playtime as it has never happened before and not the rights at all!!

Thanks.

corythatwas Thu 28-Apr-16 15:48:11

I think missing playtime mainly makes sense either if you have missed work/there is clearing up to be done (so it's a natural consequence of not having the time because you have wasted it) or if you have been acting aggressively and keeping you in is actually for the sake of giving some other child a bit of a respite.

Otoh I would probably try to find out exactly how disruptive your dd was before going further with it. Actually from the pov of your dd a calm "oh dear, well next time you must listen carefully to what Mrs X says" might actually be the least upsetting response.

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