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Parents' Evening Tonight

(11 Posts)
JocastaFarquhar Wed 20-Apr-16 15:34:53

Hi,
I have DD's parents' evening tonight. She is in reception and I have a late appointment due to my work and I have to take her with me as I have no other cover. This wouldn't be an issue, but I want to tell the teacher that DD does not seem to enjoy school. She says its boring and often she tries to say she's too poorly to go (normally tummy ache). I also worry about her making friends as she often feels sad that nobody would play with her and then the other day, I saw her get all excited at drop off that a classmate had the same dress and hairdo and the girl refused to talk to DD. Then more children arrived and DD bounced over and they also refused to talk to her. She is so lovely and kind, but I can imagine that she might be a bit full on and it makes me very sad that she is having a hard time. We have to move around a lot due to my work (no, not travelling circus) and it still riles me that the lovely friendships she had 2 moves ago could not be sustained sad. Now it all seems so bitchy even for 5 year olds. If anyone has any advice about how to broach my concerns with the teacher without sounding like a PFB nitwit that would be great. Or just advice about my DD not liking school and the friend thing would be great too.

AlwaysDancing1234 Wed 20-Apr-16 15:36:58

Can you take a book (or an iPad or something) for your DD to play with a little bit away from you so you can have a hat with the teacher?
I think just be honest with the teacher and see if she's noticed anything, she may be able to reassure you.

NynaevesSister Wed 20-Apr-16 15:43:21

See if she can sit in the book corner and you talk in quiet tones.

This is NOT at all PFB. So please don't worry about it. Your daughter being excluded is a concern not just for you but also for her education. There are ways that the teacher can help the other girls learn to be more inclusive.

NynaevesSister Wed 20-Apr-16 15:44:34

I am a little worried that your daughter is only in reception and this is already her third school? Is this the pattern for the future because it sounds really disruptive.

JocastaFarquhar Wed 20-Apr-16 15:56:22

Its not her 3rd school. Its her first school. However she has moved childcare setting 6 times since babyhood due to the fact I am in the forces. She will be at this school until the end of Year 1 before we move again.

That's a really helpful point about inclusivity. I will definitely talk about that. Good idea about book corner/iPad.

mrsmortis Wed 20-Apr-16 16:37:49

I had to take DD to a parents evening when she was in Y1 because my MIL, who was going to babysit had to be somewhere else at short notice. We took the iPad and DD sat in the book corner quite happily completely ignoring what we were talking about. I'm sure your DD will be the same.

Are you in a barracks town? If you are the school should be used too this constant moving and probably have some things they can try that have worked in the past.

TeenAndTween Wed 20-Apr-16 16:55:40

There may well be other parents/children waiting who could occupy your DD while you talk anyway.
From reception DD2 has just sat outside the classroom with colouring or a toy/book.

Would I be right in thinking your DD qualifies for PP as a forces child? If so, is there anything that could be done to give her extra support?

JocastaFarquhar Wed 20-Apr-16 17:13:03

Could point about the pupil premium, its currently being used to help pay wages!
We are not in a barracks town and happen to be in a village school when most of the military children attend another school but DD was allocated a different school. At the time I was pleased but now I think it would have been better for her to be with children who understand the need to make friends quickly and not throw friendships away. I may mention this as a prompt for action.

She also has hearing loss and they only recently put her in a special reading group, then when she went up a level, she got taken out of the group and she had only been in it 3 weeks! She loved it as well.

JocastaFarquhar Wed 20-Apr-16 22:48:54

Well DD stayed with me the whole time and spent much time trying to show me her work to distract from the big issue her teacher wanted to raise which was her naughty behaviour. She's not particularly naughty at home but this all ties in with the feelings of boredom and possibly sadness, loneliness or anger about being shunned. Now we have connected the dots, her teacher is going to actively look at sorting it out and DD now knows that she needs to tell the teacher about feeling sad etc rather than attempting to attention seek via poor behaviour. I have also suggested to DD that she play more with the boys as there are some lovely ones who are really nice and not into dividing and conquering.

catkind Wed 20-Apr-16 22:57:11

See what the setup is, there is likely to be somewhere you'll be able to park her out of hearing. At DS' school the teachers sat at desks in the hall, there was seating on the other side of the hall for waiting, so kids could just be left parked there still in sight.

Bear in mind the short time usually allocated for parents' evening slots. You have a lot to cover there, and the teacher probably has some standard things to tell you about too. Be prepared to ask for a separate meeting to discuss in more depth.

The teachers are likely to be very interested in helping her socially, that's a huge part of what reception is about. Do you think the bored is about not having people to play with? Or do you think that's to do with the academic side as well? I'd also want to talk to the teacher about how the hearing loss is affecting her in school.

catkind Wed 20-Apr-16 22:58:56

Oops sorry x posted I am slow! Sounds like it was positive having your DD with you in the end.

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