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Please help! Yr 3 lacking in confidence

(12 Posts)
LeonardoAcropolis Tue 12-Apr-16 10:21:23

Hello, after some advice.

I have posted previously about my 7year old DS, in year 3, and his troubles with maths. He has been having tutoring and does exra work with me and DH and we can really see an improvement, however he still says he is bad at maths and it is scary! Although Dh and I reassure him, he can't shake that mindset sad

He is a capable reader however he said to me this morning that he is a bad reader, despite my repeated reassurance, he still thought so.

Dh and I often use examples of good work to show him how well he's doing however he's not very good at accepting compliments either.

He is working with a teaching assistant during maths lessons and, according to the teacher, he over relies on her for help.

Please help!

Gryla Tue 12-Apr-16 11:28:52

I'm not sure what you want from your posts.

There isn't a magic wand to wave or a set of words that will make the problems disappear.

I really don't understand why you think dismissing your DS expressed concerns will magically improve his confidence.

I've had one child say reading wasn't for them and one child say they were no good at maths. I found out why - in both cases they were shaky with the foundations and had adults round them saying their sex didn't do those activities.

So for maths I found a on-line site - mathsfactor with a female fronting it. They went over basics did loads of practice past tests before moving on and saw a woman being good at maths. It took time many months before confidence developed and then it took that school few years to realise how good they had gotten.

They didn't need me to tell them they were good they know it.

Time before they got the confidence I emphasises that like all things in life practise was the key and made them work at it every day.

Same with reading - checked out hearing and eyes then went back phonics basis which were lacking - dancing bears book A or B or fast track A/B might be applicable for your DS and again practise the shit out of decoding.

In mean time I also pointed out male relatives reading, found male writers and found audio books with male readers and sometimes the same as the writers to listen to. I also did graphic novels and non -fiction books to try and keep up interest.

Once my Ds had a though grasp of the basics I couldn't have stopped him reading. Again I didn't need to tell him reading was for him or he could do it I empowered him by giving him the skills to do it.

I'd also consider what he is currently reading - is it too hard, too easy, too boring all of which would help put your DS off reading.

If decoding is fine then see if it's reading comprehension that is the problem - reading with them making sure they understand the vocabulary and can find relevant information from what they have read.

You've chose the option of a maths tutor - I'd keep going with that and give it time. Time to fill in the bits your DS struggles with and once that is done time to develop confidence.

TBh I'd let the school get on with what they are doing and if they say he is too dependent on TA help ask them how they planing to overcome that.

In meantime continue to build the skills at home.

LeonardoAcropolis Tue 12-Apr-16 11:56:29

Thanks Gryla (I think...)

I'm not after a magic wand, I'm after practical help to improve a child's confidence.

I am certainly not dismissing his concerns.

He is praised and encouraged at home, however he seems immersed in self doubt.

LeonardoAcropolis Tue 12-Apr-16 12:00:43

Oops, pressed too soon, I will request a meeting with these teacher to discuss his progress with reading and maths. His teacher, so far, is very happy with his reading ability.

irvine101 Tue 12-Apr-16 13:20:19

I think only way to improve his confidence is him to realise that he can do it.
It's good to hear that he is progressing, but to be totally confident takes time.
If the teacher is happy with his progress, can't you take him with you to the meeting with the teacher? Hearing he is doing really well, (and what else he can work on to make it even better), from the teacher himself might boost his confidence.

LeonardoAcropolis Tue 12-Apr-16 13:36:25

Thank you Irvine, that's a good idea about taking him to the meeting.

His approach to maths has improved so much since January, he seems to have the basic knowledge of numbers now and is able to apply his knowlege appropriately. Unfortunately he gets upset when he answers a question incorrectly. Rather than telling him it's wrong I ask him to look at it again and he usually then gets it right. However, he still feels bad about the wrong answer, despite my reassurance, and will say he is bad at maths sad

WakeUpFast Tue 12-Apr-16 13:44:02

My dd in year 3 is also bad at maths. She's had extra help at school but still very unconfident. I'm waiting until September because I feel her teacher is dismissing her in other ways and so it's affecting her confidence on a whole. Then I'm thinking about getting her onto Kumon to get her build confidence and feel happy about work she completes. My dd works well with praise and she's not getting it at school. Will watch this thread. Good luck.

irvine101 Tue 12-Apr-16 17:23:55

WakeUpFast, my nephew wasn't good at maths and he used to go to Kumon. He hated it. It is a lot of repetition without proper teaching. You can buy their workbooks online(amazon etc.), so you can try some first. Tutor worked better for him. Also you can try this free website. It has tutorial for all the maths skills.

momtothree Tue 12-Apr-16 17:34:21

With maths the aim is to teach method not answers -

Can you get a set of numicon? You can do loads with it visually - it's based on method -

So if he got the method right don't worry if the answer is wrong

MadSprocker Tue 12-Apr-16 19:39:10

Are you looking at all areas of Maths, like shape, measurement, time, money as well as addition, subtraction etc? Perhaps do loads of practical maths at home like cooking, use the TV guide to work out time problems, have a calendar for him to use, measure the temperature outside everyday at the same time, you can do fractions cutting up cake, pizza and sandwiches, go to the shops to use money. My ds2 who is year 5 is really good at time and money because he doesn't want to be conned in either aspect he does trust us really I think. Play I-spy shapes. Teach him the rhyme '30 days hath September', I work in a year 4 class and it wasn't until they had to answer a question in a test, that we realised hardly any of them knew that each month has a certain amount of days.

LeonardoAcropolis Wed 13-Apr-16 21:03:31

Thanks momtothree and madsprocker I am using a variety of props to demonstrate methods, that works very well. I am also looking at all areas of maths, thanks for the tips.

The meeting with his teacher went very well, she has seen his progress and has suggested that he sits at a table without a teaching assistant to see how he gets on.

As for his confidence, I suppose continued praise and encouragement is the way forward.

Wakeupfast have you spoken to your dad's teacher?

momtothree Wed 13-Apr-16 23:14:31

I would say most children find maths language difficult - for example if you teach half or quarters some kid have never heard the words and understand the concept -

I would think about how you say things like add plus one more minus subtract take away - all the same really

Add in mm cm m etc

Talk about maths problems - we have 4 people for diner and 5 potatoes

Can he make a guess? How many steps to grandmas house - how much change will I get from X?

Does he pay in shops? Wait for change? (So many don't with cards)

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