Talk

Advanced search

Any good jokes for P1?

(26 Posts)
abigail12 Tue 15-Mar-16 17:49:35

Anyone got any good jokes suitable for 5 year old to tell at school show? He's still at the making nonsense up stage (eg what do you call a blue banana? A chicken!) and thinking he's hilarious so need something slightly better to give him.

mrsvilliers Tue 15-Mar-16 18:48:42

Why did the banana go to the doctor? Because it wasn't peeling very well.

My ds (similar age) thinks this is hilarious...

slicedfinger Tue 15-Mar-16 18:50:01

What's yellow and dangerous?
Shark infested custard.

The best joke EVER grin

Themodernuriahheep Tue 15-Mar-16 18:58:44

Why do elephants paint their toenails red?
To hide in the strawberry bed.

What do you get when you cross a sheep with a kangaroo?
A woolly jumper.

What's the difference between an elephant and a postbox?
Well, if you don't know I'm not going to send you to post a letter.

What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence?
Time to build a new fence.

pilates Tue 15-Mar-16 19:00:17

What is brown, yellow and hairy?
Cheese on toast dropped on the floor

weegiemum Tue 15-Mar-16 19:01:25

What's brown and sticky?
A stick!

What's red and invisible?
No tomatoes!

tabulahrasa Tue 15-Mar-16 19:01:59

Why are pirates called pirates?

They just aaarghh!

Fragz Tue 15-Mar-16 19:10:48

What do you call a dinosaur with no eyes?
Doyouthinkysaurus (do you think he saw us)

What goes baa woof baa woof?
A sheepdog.

Where do baby apes sleep?
In an apricot.

FishWithABicycle Tue 15-Mar-16 19:17:34

Knock knock
Who's there
Cows Go
Cows Go Who?
NO! Cows Go MOO!

Knock knock
Who's there
The Interrupting Cow
The Interruptin...
MOOOOOOOO!

SmallLegsOrSmallEggs Tue 15-Mar-16 19:19:34

Knock knock
Who's there?
Boo.
Boo who?
No need to cry it's only me.

diploddycus Tue 15-Mar-16 19:19:41

Knock knock
Who's there?
Atch
Atch who?
Bless you!

Is the joke my p1 told today to his class.

caravanista Tue 15-Mar-16 19:21:24

Why was the sand wet?
Because the sea weed!

SirChenjin Tue 15-Mar-16 19:24:28

Knock knock
Who's there?
I dunnup
I dunnup who?
Ewwww!

That may be a little bit blue for P1 but it's very funny grin

abigail12 Tue 15-Mar-16 19:44:08

Excellent, thanks, I'll run them by him into morning, got a feeling the banana and the dunnup who jokes will go down well...maybe keep the second one out of the school show though!

turdfairynomore Tue 15-Mar-16 19:45:47

How do you make tissue dance?
Put a little boogie in it!

Luciferbox Tue 15-Mar-16 19:47:34

DS4's current favourite is

What's blue and smells like red paint?
Blue paint

He thinks it's hilarious hmm

JimAndTonic Fri 18-Mar-16 15:26:14

What do you find up a clean nose?
Fingerprints!!!! gringringrin

CMOTDibbler Fri 18-Mar-16 17:34:49

The interrupting cow one is considered to be absolutely hilarious by all children ime

FishWithABicycle Fri 18-Mar-16 23:14:27

You can keep a child of the right age entertained for literally hours by substituting the:
Interrupting chicken
Interrupting horse
Interrupting dinosaur
Interrupting tiger
Interrupting sheep
Interrupting pig
Interrupting rooster
Interrupting cat
Interrupting wolf
Interrupting giraffe
Interrupting dog
Interrupting duck
Etc etc etc

SmallLegsOrSmallEggs Sat 19-Mar-16 01:31:33

What do you get if an elephant sits on batman and robin?

Flatman and Ribbongrin

RueDeWakening Mon 21-Mar-16 22:36:30

Knock knock
Who's there?
Europe
Europe who?
<gasp> Did you just call me a POO? (sound outraged) grin

slippermum Tue 22-Mar-16 00:41:16

Want to hear the Joke about Butter?
No I can't tell you, you might spread it!

MissElizaBennett Tue 22-Mar-16 00:48:42

They're slightly older than P1 but my nephews love:

Some toilets have been stolen from Scotland Yard. Police have nothing to go on.

What do cannibals do at a wedding?
Toast the bride.

Why did the cannibal come back from his holiday missing an arm and a leg?
He went self catering.

HawkEyeTheNoo Tue 22-Mar-16 07:18:20

My favourite joke when DS was young still is tbh was...... Can I have a drum roll please?

What do you call a fish with no eyes?

FSH!!

Boom tish!!!

Thank you, I'm here all week! grin

Abigail12 Tue 22-Mar-16 13:57:11

Thanks some of these have been crackers. My DDs favourite joke at the moment is Why can you not give elsa a balloon? Because she would just "Let it go!"

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now