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Any good jokes for P1?

(26 Posts)
abigail12 Tue 15-Mar-16 17:49:35

Anyone got any good jokes suitable for 5 year old to tell at school show? He's still at the making nonsense up stage (eg what do you call a blue banana? A chicken!) and thinking he's hilarious so need something slightly better to give him.

mrsvilliers Tue 15-Mar-16 18:48:42

Why did the banana go to the doctor? Because it wasn't peeling very well.

My ds (similar age) thinks this is hilarious...

slicedfinger Tue 15-Mar-16 18:50:01

What's yellow and dangerous?
Shark infested custard.

The best joke EVER grin

Themodernuriahheep Tue 15-Mar-16 18:58:44

Why do elephants paint their toenails red?
To hide in the strawberry bed.

What do you get when you cross a sheep with a kangaroo?
A woolly jumper.

What's the difference between an elephant and a postbox?
Well, if you don't know I'm not going to send you to post a letter.

What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence?
Time to build a new fence.

pilates Tue 15-Mar-16 19:00:17

What is brown, yellow and hairy?
Cheese on toast dropped on the floor

weegiemum Tue 15-Mar-16 19:01:25

What's brown and sticky?
A stick!

What's red and invisible?
No tomatoes!

tabulahrasa Tue 15-Mar-16 19:01:59

Why are pirates called pirates?

They just aaarghh!

Fragz Tue 15-Mar-16 19:10:48

What do you call a dinosaur with no eyes?
Doyouthinkysaurus (do you think he saw us)

What goes baa woof baa woof?
A sheepdog.

Where do baby apes sleep?
In an apricot.

FishWithABicycle Tue 15-Mar-16 19:17:34

Knock knock
Who's there
Cows Go
Cows Go Who?
NO! Cows Go MOO!

Knock knock
Who's there
The Interrupting Cow
The Interruptin...

SmallLegsOrSmallEggs Tue 15-Mar-16 19:19:34

Knock knock
Who's there?
Boo who?
No need to cry it's only me.

diploddycus Tue 15-Mar-16 19:19:41

Knock knock
Who's there?
Atch who?
Bless you!

Is the joke my p1 told today to his class.

caravanista Tue 15-Mar-16 19:21:24

Why was the sand wet?
Because the sea weed!

SirChenjin Tue 15-Mar-16 19:24:28

Knock knock
Who's there?
I dunnup
I dunnup who?

That may be a little bit blue for P1 but it's very funny grin

abigail12 Tue 15-Mar-16 19:44:08

Excellent, thanks, I'll run them by him into morning, got a feeling the banana and the dunnup who jokes will go down well...maybe keep the second one out of the school show though!

turdfairynomore Tue 15-Mar-16 19:45:47

How do you make tissue dance?
Put a little boogie in it!

Luciferbox Tue 15-Mar-16 19:47:34

DS4's current favourite is

What's blue and smells like red paint?
Blue paint

He thinks it's hilarious hmm

JimAndTonic Fri 18-Mar-16 15:26:14

What do you find up a clean nose?
Fingerprints!!!! gringringrin

CMOTDibbler Fri 18-Mar-16 17:34:49

The interrupting cow one is considered to be absolutely hilarious by all children ime

FishWithABicycle Fri 18-Mar-16 23:14:27

You can keep a child of the right age entertained for literally hours by substituting the:
Interrupting chicken
Interrupting horse
Interrupting dinosaur
Interrupting tiger
Interrupting sheep
Interrupting pig
Interrupting rooster
Interrupting cat
Interrupting wolf
Interrupting giraffe
Interrupting dog
Interrupting duck
Etc etc etc

SmallLegsOrSmallEggs Sat 19-Mar-16 01:31:33

What do you get if an elephant sits on batman and robin?

Flatman and Ribbongrin

RueDeWakening Mon 21-Mar-16 22:36:30

Knock knock
Who's there?
Europe who?
<gasp> Did you just call me a POO? (sound outraged) grin

slippermum Tue 22-Mar-16 00:41:16

Want to hear the Joke about Butter?
No I can't tell you, you might spread it!

MissElizaBennett Tue 22-Mar-16 00:48:42

They're slightly older than P1 but my nephews love:

Some toilets have been stolen from Scotland Yard. Police have nothing to go on.

What do cannibals do at a wedding?
Toast the bride.

Why did the cannibal come back from his holiday missing an arm and a leg?
He went self catering.

HawkEyeTheNoo Tue 22-Mar-16 07:18:20

My favourite joke when DS was young still is tbh was...... Can I have a drum roll please?

What do you call a fish with no eyes?


Boom tish!!!

Thank you, I'm here all week! grin

Abigail12 Tue 22-Mar-16 13:57:11

Thanks some of these have been crackers. My DDs favourite joke at the moment is Why can you not give elsa a balloon? Because she would just "Let it go!"

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