Moving classes(8 Posts)
So, my dd is in year 6 at primary school. Since starting year 6, she has had issues on & off with a group of girls in her class - they are sometimes mean to her, wind her up and then other days are ok with her. Most days dd takes it on the chin, some days she comes home upset and angry. We've told her to tell the teacher when they are being mean to her and we've now been telling her to stand up for herself.
We also believe it can't be too bad as she'll play out with one of the girls at the weekend so it kind of goes from a couple of weeks being ok to a few days being bad at school. It's the same group of girls in her class & I only know too well what they are like.
DD was upset again yesterday. She announced that she definitely wants to move into the other Y6 class. Not too long ago a boy was moved from her class because of the same problem.
We spoke with the headteacher this morning. My DD became very upset & the headteacher said he'd rather look at the problem first & try & sort that out rather than move my DD. Which sounded ok, but to be honest I think now, why couldn't he just of allowed the move? My DD would've been happy and that would've been the end. Instead DD got even more upset & told me what I already knew, that the girls would just make even more fun of her now as they could see she was upset & take the piss (not her word!) because she wasn't allowed to move class!
So I wonder why the boy could move class & my DD couldn't. I don't think her work is being affected but she's told me that they are distracting her in class & she got into trouble for it once.
I'm 99% sure that there are the 'nicer' girls in the other class - DD use to play with them in previous classes.
I have a DD in y6 too. I have a few thoughts.
y5-8 are disrupting years for girls. They mature at different rates and there are lots of squabbles as they jostle for their place in the pecking order.
You won't know the full reasons regarding why the boy was allowed to move. What you have heard may well not be the whole story.
If one child has recently moved across, then a second child moving may unbalance class numbers.
A child moving into a class at this time in y6 can be disrupting for the rest of the class. So moving would not only affect your DD, it would affect all the others in the class she is moving in to.
To be honest, from your post (which I accept may not be the whole story), it doesn't really sound serious enough to move classes. She's not being persistently bullied. She still chooses to play with these girls quite regularly. It's not affecting her classwork in the main. Supporting her in how to react may perhaps be a better way to go.
Thanks for your reply, what you said does make sense & I agree with you, it's just hard seeing my DD so upset, on one hand I think perhaps she should just be moved & it would be done with, she'd be much happier, then I on the other hand I can see what the headteacher was saying, about being prepared for secondary school & how she'll encounter groups of people like this & how basically you just can't run away. It's just lately there seems to more bad days for her than good.
I think what I need to do is have a chat with her class teacher & see what exactly is going on in class as DD says there is some things that are happening in class too. He should be aware if there is a problem & if she is being distracted. If it's like this now at this age & stage, in dreading secondary school 😱
There are also stresses due to SATs, and also possibly from next week until end of summer term some 'splitting' based on which secondary they are off to.
I agree it is hard. It is difficult to know when to ignore, when to support, and when to be proactive.
Have you not spoken to the class teacher? That should have been the first person you spoke to rather than going straight to the head asking to move classes. Your DD does sound unhappy but, the fact that she still plays with the girls and her work isn't being affected, makes me think the head has approached this the right way.
Make an appointment to see the class teacher and see what they say
Just because the girls were nicer when they were younger doesn't mean that they're nicer now. It's also possible that they're a close knit group and she would find herself on the outside.
Several things to think about:
You don't know why the boy was moved. Moving class was very unusual at my school, I know one person who was moved and it wasn't the reason everyone thought it was (friends with her sister and I was there when it was being discussed once)
She might well be not the first to ask to move classes.
The other class may be at the point they're not happy to put more in. If there's already 33 in that class and only 29 in hers, it makes imbalanced forms.
There's a lot going on in that group and your dd is as much in it as any of the others. You say she'll be okay for a couple of weeks-maybe they're picking on different children in turn.
Why would the other children know she'd asked to change class because she was talking to the head? I assume the conversation wasn't in front of the rest of the class. Is it possible that some of the children are using this as a "if you're not nice to me I shall move class..." in which case he may want not to see that as a easy to do option.
It will only be a term and a half. There's a certain amount of disruption moving form, he may think that disruption will be detrimental to her or others.
If she had moved she would still have had to face them, and the other children in the playground saying "why did you move form?"
It is tricky, I think in part it does open the floodgates to others moving, especially if the other class is generally viewed more favourably. We ended up moving schools, not that I would necessarily do that in yr 6. I would wait and see how it goes but when it starts to affect her morning, noon and night and on the weekend then consider other options. Is she likely to go to the same secondary school as the other girls. I would consider at that stage requesting different classes.
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