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starting school sept 2016 support thread for those worried the dc wont be re..dy

(23 Posts)
Naty1 Tue 16-Feb-16 21:25:37

My dd starts school this year at 4.3. she has been to nursery a few days a week since sept but has had a lot of time off.
not sure if she will be ready for school, mainly behaviour and tiredness.

Anyone else concerned?

LillyInTheMoon Tue 16-Feb-16 21:31:50

I am. My DS turns 4 only 2 weeks before he will start school. He too has been going to preschool since September and I've noticed he seems much less developed emotionally compared to the other children.

We've been playing lots of phonics and numbers games at home but I'm so worried that he's going to be behind from the moment he starts.

Noappointmentnecessary Tue 16-Feb-16 21:37:38

There are new guidelines which mean parents have the choice to keep their child in nursery for another year. Check it out. If you feel your child is not ready, you are well within your rights x

ToInfinity Tue 16-Feb-16 21:57:53

Me too! Proper panicking!
Not about the academic side, more about emotional readiness, practical stuff like getting changed for PE, lunch, going to the toilet etc!

ToInfinity Tue 16-Feb-16 21:58:26

NoAppointment, isn't that only for summer born children? X

LillyInTheMoon Tue 16-Feb-16 22:01:46

I've looked into it and it hasn't come into force yet, at least not in my LA. They would still skip either reception year or year 7.

StrumpersPlunkett Tue 16-Feb-16 22:13:40

I hope it is of some comfort for you to know that there are very few expectations of reception class
To start you will most likely be in the cloakroom taking off coat and changing into indoor shoes (if that is your schools policy)
Encouraging them into the class room where the teacher wants all children to have an enjoyable experience.
For our reception class the first thing they learn is to sit on the big pink elephant carpet facing teacher so she can explain what is going to happen that day.
This happens at the beginning of the day for 5 mins. A variety of educational based toys and play activities for an hour and a half then outside for milk and snack 20 mins running round with new friends.
When they come back in another 5 minutes on the pink carpet chatting about the morning. More games and activities on a theme. For an hour and before they know it it is lunch time.

We do have tired children for the first term but the afternoon session for most schools is only 2.5 hours. We have a big squishy sofa in our reading corner and there are times when we encourage a child to get a book and snuggle on the sofa for a bit. If they fell asleep we wouldn't wake them.

I hope this helps. It really is a very gentle introduction to school
The BEST thing you can do for your child is to help them learn how to put on clothing coats shoes uniform etc and on a PE day to start with putting them in uniform that you know the child can do themselves. Lots of buttons or tights makes it tricky for adults on the classroom and the children as they worry about not being able to do it and the adults only have a few pairs of hands so they may have to wait a few minutes until there us an adult free.

Perhaps a mamouth post but I love working with this age group they are fab. Your little ones will have a ball!!!

Naty1 Tue 16-Feb-16 22:28:14

I dont think i can skip the whole reception as they lose the place. I think. But i could miss a term or 2 as summer born.
She went and weed on the bathroom floor today because i was distracted changing the baby.
Lilly im also worried DD will start behind. As because she wont sit well, nursery kept her in the class below effectively. Without saying to me.
So not sure shes learnt anything at all yet.
Toinf our first choice school has them practicing dressing for pe in reception . Higher up classes going in on the day wearing the kit.
My dd will probably jist lose all her clothes.
Im also worried about toilet and wiping.
How she'll cpe in a class of 30 as she gets up to stuff with only like 1:6 or 8.
Not sure about emotionally, i dont think she'll want to go the 5 days as its a big step up from 2.
When she gets tired the bad behaviour escalates.
Its catch22 you dont want them to miss settling and makong friends but behaving badly could have not of a negative effect

StrumpersPlunkett Wed 17-Feb-16 00:45:53

The other things no to remember naty is the September is ages away. She will get there in her own time and take vibes from you. If you are nervous and worried she will feel that.
We have a huge bag of lost kit with no names on, never any worry about things not going into pe bags I can easily do that but only if things are clearly named (sharpie on the tag works as well as any woven name tapes)

Mandzi34 Wed 17-Feb-16 08:36:43

Huge concerns here. He will 4.5 months by then so it's not an age thing. He's very lazy, shows no interest in writing or learning of any kind, refuses to dress himself and already has started asking if he can skip nursery to go home. Sigh...

Naty1 Wed 17-Feb-16 15:16:25

Thanks strumpers.
Mandzi he may just prefer home/ feel a bit bored/ miss the attention
Mine wont write or colour in even.
Plus the school wont tell us when settling in will be so we may be away.
Also feel strangely anxious about her making friends as the other kids some will know each other.
And actually last yr 50% were siblings. So theyll know people.
After nursery has gone badly i prefer to assume it wont start off too well, so it can exceed my expectations.
Also the nursery had a word about saying something to the school (about her not sitting etc).

BoogleMcGroogle Wed 17-Feb-16 15:59:21

If you are concerned and your child is summer born, why not refer until they reach compulsory school age? This means that they would begin in reception in 2017. You can apply to your local authority for agreement. The law hasn't changed yet and some local authorities are digging their heels in (notably, Bromley, but also others) but others are automatically agreeing requests for deferral where they are the admissions authority (Herts, Birmingham among others). And while Strumpers is right that schools are (largely) supportive of their summer born reception children, the expectations from central government and the assessments are not. Some summer born children are more than ready to begin school, but if that's not the case, there is another option.

BoogleMcGroogle Wed 17-Feb-16 15:59:34


Galena Thu 18-Feb-16 08:46:55

The other thing to bear in mind is that it is still 8 months away. That's a long time in these children's lives.

At this point in the year before DD started school she was still in nappies, couldn't dress herself, got very tired after a morning in preschool, screamed till she was sick if I walked out of the room at preschool, etc.

Now, she does have a physical disability so that could have contributed to some of this, but on her first day at school she walked off quite happily, not even saying goodbye to me, and has never looked back (and was toilet trained!)

I was worried this time last year, dd February born, very bright but was still wearing nappies for number 2's.
Fast forward to September and so much changed. She was out of the nappies and was very ready.
Our school said the best way to prepare a child for reception is to push their independence a bit, going to toilet alone, washing hands etc, learning how to dress/undress and to be able to eat with a knife and fork. Apparantely they see so many dc who can't use a knife and fork properly and said that as a school can teach them to read/write etc but these other valuable skills are equally important.
I've got twin nephews who were 8 wks early ( due end of October born 30th august ) and they started school a week after their 4th birthday and were very behind. Their friend was born on 31st august and is the youngest but top of the class so sort of dispels that myth a bit.
Dd best friend is a July born and in a different school but on same reading programme and is 2 stages ahead of dd who is very bright.
It's normal and natural to worry but there is so much play based learning that sometimes dd hasn't even realised she was being assessed for something.
Expect tiredness and don't plan too much for after school. Also- label absolutely everything grin

MiniCooperLover Fri 19-Feb-16 07:10:20

In our area they allow you to defer but that means jumping straight into Year 1 and skipping Reception which I think would be far worse. I was v worried about my DS (who started Reception Sept 15 at 4.4) and yes he did struggle for a while, there's no point pretending he didn't. But he's learning and finding his feet now. He has a lot of already 5 year olds in his class which didn't help but the teachers have been great and it's going well now.

MiaowTheCat Fri 19-Feb-16 13:26:27

DD1 starts this year - although spring-born technically she would be summer-born if you went on her due date (was premature). Academically I'm not worried about her much. Am mildly worried about her in terms of her behaviour and concentration as she's a flitter who doesn't shut up! Her motor skills aren't great either - I know preschool are focusing on it with her very heavily at the moment.

Banging my head in frustration at the knife and fork thing though - she's a berluddy nightmare with that - unless it's directing the fork to nick bits off her sister's plate! Rationally though I know she'll be fine and take to it like a duck to water just the same as she did with preschool - I just wish we knew school allocations a bit sooner so I could answer her questions about which school she'll be going to and who she'll know from preschool (they go all over the place from our preschool - there's no real set pattern of where they'll progress onto) with a bit more certainty than "you'll be going to a school with a blue uniform" which is about all I can tell her at the moment (and I can only do that because they're ALL blue that we're near - although I'm fairly sure we'll get our first choice on distance, second choice at a push but the demographics will have to have been very wonky this year not to get first choice) - although the idea of going to school and wearing a blue uniform just about satisfies her curiosity at the moment!

I'm probably slightly more laid back because I used to teach reception myself! Not looking forward to having to do all the bloody name tape sewing though - hate that job sooooo much.

I cannot sew! Used a special labelling pen a bit like a sharpie and it's been great smile

Naty1 Fri 19-Feb-16 18:39:21

i also have one that wont stop talking. its hard to have a conversation with dp.
or go to gp etc.
the behaviour really holds her back as i cant leave her to go to bathroom herself as she has twice intentionally weed on the floor, or she wont was hands. similarly preschool find she keeps flooding the bathroom (as they leave them alone (god knows why when shes done this several times)
though i guess she plans it as she wees on the floor for me if im changing the baby..
we are just not moving forward to trusting her to do stuff.
but will focus on her dressing and using cutlery. though not sure what they would need knife for? maybe fish.
thats great progress Galena. i keep hoping for it but not getting it.
its up and down days. today she was pulling dd2, and lying on her, squirted her water on the floor, and tried eating the tube of toothpaste.
whereas yesterday we did a whole cbeebies magazine.

Naty1 Fri 19-Feb-16 18:43:06

i also think its a pity there is such a baby boom at the moment so school oversubscibd and unlikely to get anything other than nearest, not what suits your child.
the intake is likely to be 60 and with her being a bit sickly thats not great.

Yy to baby boom. Dd reception class is full at 30. Y1 has 21 and Y2 has 18 and I find it chaotic at times and that dd could have had so much more support if there were less children. Luckily she is above average but I would worry if she wasn't. This time next year your dc will all be settled nicely and you will have other issues like homework/reading etc to contend with. It's never ending to worry...

Tumtetum Fri 19-Feb-16 23:58:34

There's another thread on similar at the moment, but something else you could consider is part time attendance. With a summer birthday (after April?) your DD wouldn't have to attend full time until the Easter term if you wanted (I think technically the September of Yr 1 but that seems to be confusing for schools!). Not for everyone and not always possible to fit around working, but it could mean a more gentle start, and result in better behaviour if she's not so tired.

MiniCooperLover Sat 20-Feb-16 07:45:23

The only problem with them doing staggered starts or whatever is it disadvantages them with the others because Reception is their 'bedding in' year to learn the school rules, learn how the classes work, learning the basic phonics etc before Year 1 which I've been told is much less play and much more 'school'. I thought my DS would struggle tiredness wise and he did pretty much need to be carried home on Day1 but otherwise he's been fine.

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