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Can I ask a really silly thick question about parents evening?

(40 Posts)
RatOnnaStick Thu 28-Jan-16 14:02:28

My son's first one is coming up next week (Yr R). Are we supposed to bring the children so they can show off what they've done or leave them with a sitter so teacher can talk to us in peace?

I can do either.

MirandaWest Thu 28-Jan-16 14:03:54

Generally for primary school it's assumed it will be just the parents. I've had to take my children sometimes but they've always waited outside.

lljkk Thu 28-Jan-16 14:04:10

Personal choice, I'd say more bring kids than leave them at home. If your child will be disruptive then kid should stay at home.

gandalf456 Thu 28-Jan-16 14:04:24

You can do either. I take mine and they wander around playing with their friends. When DS was younger, I'd get someone to sit with him because it was easier to listen to the teacher without him wriggling on my lap at DD's parents' evening. I suppose if you have a clingy child or need to talk about something sensitive, it's easier to get a sitter.

BloodyDogHairs Thu 28-Jan-16 14:04:28

I've always done parents evening without children.

OldBeanbagz Thu 28-Jan-16 14:07:04

I've always done Parents Evenings without children, even the ones i've been to at secondary school. It's easier to talk with them distracting you and getting bored.

RatOnnaStick Thu 28-Jan-16 14:07:26

OK. I know there are some issues to be discussed for him. I'll ask teacher today at pickup what she'd prefer. I assume nobody wants the toddler there so he can stay with grandmother.

Floggingmolly Thu 28-Jan-16 14:09:04

No children unless you have a childcare emergency. And no toddlers ever.

dementedpixie Thu 28-Jan-16 14:10:20

The letter we get home actively discourages you from bringing children. I do take mine but they stay in the dinner hall while we go to see the teacher. The dinner hall normally has the book fayre anyway so they can look at the books too

lljkk Thu 28-Jan-16 14:12:56

Impossible for us to get sitters... I guess same for most of us around here so hence why I see more kids with parents than not.

StitchesInTime Thu 28-Jan-16 14:14:29

The letter we had said something along the lines of "if you bring your child to parents evening, leave them in the after school club room while you go to see their teacher"

So our school didn't want the children involved with the parent-teacher discussion.

Miffytastic Thu 28-Jan-16 14:15:21

Our primary school has now decided to ask you to bring your child. Which I have mixed feelings about.

miaowmix Thu 28-Jan-16 14:17:22

Sitter or school may have a creche. Ours does.

teacherwith2kids Thu 28-Jan-16 14:20:48

Schools differ in this.

Some are 'the Parents' evening is for your child too', in which case you are EXPECTED to bring your child and they will come in with you (DC's primary was like this).

Others are 'we want to talk to you, as parents, without your child present, but will have some area within the school that is supervised so that if your child has to come with you, they will be looked after' (I work at a school like this)

Still others are 'Children? What children? Childcare? Can't EVERYONE - and it will be frowned on if it's just 1 parent - just drop everything and come in completely child-free at some really convenient time like 4.30 pm'? (Know of some of these by reputation)

If it isn't clear in whatever piece of school bumph told you about the parents Evening, then it would be absolutely sensible to simply ask the teacher what the 'norm' for your school is.

RatOnnaStick Thu 28-Jan-16 14:22:36

No mention of protocol in the email at all. Just a tick sheet for which form and what day/time slot we prefer. The answering email giving the slot doesn't say anything either.

Needaninsight Thu 28-Jan-16 14:23:46

No children.

teacherwith2kids Thu 28-Jan-16 14:24:27

Do you happen to know any parents with older children who can tell you about the normal format? Otherwise, just ask teacher.

dayslikethis Thu 28-Jan-16 14:25:21

Our school actively discourages bringing children, however on parents' night half the school still appears to be running around the place. hmm People are often at the school for up to an hour (sometimes longer - I was there for near on 2 hours last time) if they have several teachers to see. The DC are either left sitting on a seat with a book or an iPad, and taking up a space in already crowded corridors with tons of parents waiting for appointments, or they run around the school causing a riot which the HT has to control while also being cordial and welcoming to parents. In all honesty it's a pain in the ass.

We have no family near us and no babysitting options so one of us goes to the meeting and the other stays home with the DC. The one who has been then reports back to the one who stayed at home - it's really not a big deal.

teacherwith2kids Thu 28-Jan-16 14:26:59

Needaninsight, but in some schools, it is expected that your child shouls be there. DD came into every parents' evening discussion I had about her - while DS sat outside. OTOH, DD sat outside DS's meetings.

Occasionally, for bigger issues, I had to have separate meetings without the child in question there. But the school 'culture' was that children were part of the discussion - and surprisingly few punches were pulled!

RatOnnaStick Thu 28-Jan-16 14:29:51

Not a big deal, no. I just wish schools remembered that parents of reception children don't always know their protocol. I get fed up of finding out by osmosis.

teacherwith2kids Thu 28-Jan-16 14:31:51

I agree that the communication is poor. What you could do is ask the question of the office staff, rather than of the teacher in question. The office probably sent out the original letter, so might be able to change the wording next year if you feed back to them.

RatOnnaStick Thu 28-Jan-16 14:34:48

Good idea. I shall leave five minutes early today and ask them.

lljkk Thu 28-Jan-16 14:37:21

the osmosis thing caught me out, too. 6yo DS got onto (after school) school council & when it was cancelled one day nobody told me & DS didn't know what to do about getting home. Eventually someone figured out to ring me.

AugustRose Thu 28-Jan-16 14:40:14

I don't normally take mine into the actual meeting, they play outside with friends but some parents may do, our school don't say either way.

At our secondary they want the child with you so they know what is being said.

dayslikethis Thu 28-Jan-16 14:46:34

Oh man! Yes the osmosis - I think it happens in every school! My DC have been in 4 different schools and it's happened in every single one. I do feel for you with that because it's horrible to always be asking questions and feeling like you're the only one who doesn't know the answer to something

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