Children told off after Nativity.

[Sweetsecret]

Hi everyone,
Just need a bit of a rant etc.
Went to my dd''s year one Nativity last night.
It was fab, all the kids had a great time and the parents all enjoyed it.
Until... the kids came back out of their classroom after getting changed out of their costume with a lot of them crying and most of them looking quite deflated.
Apparently their teacher had given them a really big telling off saying their behaviour was disgusting, ' that your parents may let you behave the way you want to, but I am your teacher and I have never had a year 1 as bad as you!" She singled out a few children who were on the "good list" and the rest of the class were told that she was disgusted with them and that they are now banned from doing any Xmas activities for the rest of the week.
I sat and watched the play and the kids were amazing, they sang their songs really well and did their reading and considering 12 kids didn't actually turn up and they had to cover their lines they did amazingly well.
We didn't finish until 7pm, so after a long day at school they did brilliantly, all of them.
It has just left a really bad taste in my mouth.
My Dd (5) came home and said I wasn't good in the play tonight, miss xxxxx said so.
Is it me or is this really uncalled for?

[Sallyhasleftthebuilding]

The teacher will have higher expectations, she has seen them perform better. Its really preasured.
Shes human and lost her rag.
That said its over and pointless telling them off.

[BackInTheRealWorld]

Who told you she said all that?

[Greengrass1982]

Can you find out what was exactly wrong with their behaviour for the teacher to react like this?

[yakari]

Hmm that does sound like there may be more to it. Maybe something happened backstage, maybe a lot of poking and prodding on stage the audience couldn't see? Who knows but before I judged I'd want to ask the teacher for some clarification. Yes, it's awful that she crushed the kid's celebrations after the show but really make sure you get the whole story - what happened and exactly what was said.

[Whatthefreakinwhatnow]

Did you actually hear her say this, or did your 5 yo tell you??

[NoahVale]

was it the 12 kids that didnt turn up that she had words with by any chance?

[PurpleDaisies]

Were you backstage during the performance? Do you know how the kids were behaving? How do you know what the teacher said?

[user789653241]

I find this really sad. Children can get over excited due to tiredness, unusual circumstance etc.
Teacher must be exhausted after long day and all the pressure, but they are adult.
Ruining something fun and memorable for little children like this is not very nice.

[Sweetsecret]

My dd told me the story,then heard the stories that other parents had been told by their children and they all said the same story.
I spoke to the head this morning and asked for clarification and she said they were not upto their standard of behaviour and they have now banned them from part of the Xmas party tomorrow.
All I saw was they were excited and a few were turning round and talking a few times, but nothing that would Warrant them being given such a dressing down, and being told they were "bad" like pp said seems silly telling them after the play, now they are punishing them two days after the fact.
The head was quite rude to me and said that their behaviour was disgusting, believe me I have high standards of good behaviour and they were a group of children who were enjoying every minute of doing their performance it's such a shame.
I understand that teachers are knackered towards the end of term and may have got stressed, but so do the kids. They are 5 and 6 years old.

[NoahVale]

good for you for talking to school, perhaps they will relent

[Whatthefreakinwhatnow]

I'm sorryOP, but at 5 and 6 they are not babies and should know how to behave themselves. I would be very disappointed in my DD if she misbehaved during the school play, the teachers and the Bilston have worked really hard to put it together, to them much about is not on.

[DonkeyOaty]

I wonder if there were cumulative behind the scenes shenanigans?

[Sweetsecret]

Argh, I typed out a reply and then deleted it. Start again! 😁I listened to what my DD said and then got a load of messages from parents saying what their children had told them and they all added up, they were all saying the same story.
I spoke to the head this morning as saw her in passing and she said she was very disappointed in the children as they behaved really badly. All I saw was that they needed to be hushed a few times when they got a bit chatty, other than that they were just enjoying it all.
I have a high standard of behaviour so I get what is expected and they were not behaving that bad they were just a bit over excited.
Another mum who was the videographer text me and said that she has watched it back and the kids were fine.
I understand that teachers are knackered and it's a stressful time but so are the kids they have been hyping them up doing Xmas stuff and they were excited.
Hopefully the kids will just remember the fun they had and not being told how bad they were afterwards.

[Sweetsecret]

Oh it did post! Bloody hell I think I need more coffee! Ha.

[wheelofapps]

This sounds very negative from School.

What chance do the kids have to 'improve' and earn their Party back again? None.

It's odd that 12 kids 'didn't turn up' too?

[ghostspirit]

ita hard to know the full situation with little ones. but it does seem a bit harsh when they have had such a long day. they were probably tired as well... but anyway if they were naughty. missing out on xmas activitys all week is a bit ott. punishing 5 year olds for a week. is a bit much.

hopefully the teacher was sounding off/tired herself. and the rest of the week will be fine.

[Sweetsecret]

But that's the point from what I saw they weren't behaving badly they were singing all their songs well and doing all the actions etc, let's not forget this is a kids nativity not RSC, my Dd was just sat and did her part I saw her turning round a few times. There were some boys getting a bit over excited. They said only six children behaved themselves out of 60! (Two classes) if that was the case their would've been absolute carnage, which their wasn't. Anyway, it's just a shame that it has put a cloud over the whole thing. They are such lovely kids all of them. I have helped out in the class many times and they are really a good bunch.

[RamblingRedRose]

Wow, before my daughter's school play they made an announcement that they are still only little so may fidget or forget lines etc

It's just a school play not bloody RADA.

[StoptheRavelry]

I agree with you OP - I think it's appalling when teachers do this. They are five year olds FFS

I would be maintaining that I was extremely disappointed in the school's attitude to this and telling them that my child would no longer be taking part in out-of-hours performances if this was how the children were going to be treated.

Not much you can do about it in school hours sadly - except consider moving schools, but that depends on the wider picture.

I hope you have managed to reassure your dd that the teacher was just tired and being a complete cow (in age appropriate terms), and that she did really well and you loved the play.

[purplepandas]

Bloody hell, that is terrible. I would be livid with the school. The head's response is not good either. Seriously, the children are so tired and they are only little still.

[hufflebottom]

They're 5 years old it's the last week of what's been a bloody long term and it finished at 7pm.

The teachers need to get a grip. I appreciate they are shattered but I fail to see how 6 out of 60 behaved and the rest didn't. If a lot of the parents are saying it was good I don't see how nearly 50 odd kids misbehaved.

[HPsauciness]

I would drop the school an email saying how disappointed you were with the school's response, that the children were there voluntarily after hours to put on this performance, and that from your perspective the children were reasonably behaved given that this is an exciting event.

Basically the children who didn't attend had the best time and that can't be right!!!