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Children told off after Nativity.

(153 Posts)
Sweetsecret Tue 15-Dec-15 08:14:20

Hi everyone,
Just need a bit of a rant etc.
Went to my dd''s year one Nativity last night.
It was fab, all the kids had a great time and the parents all enjoyed it.
Until... the kids came back out of their classroom after getting changed out of their costume with a lot of them crying and most of them looking quite deflated.
Apparently their teacher had given them a really big telling off saying their behaviour was disgusting, ' that your parents may let you behave the way you want to, but I am your teacher and I have never had a year 1 as bad as you!" She singled out a few children who were on the "good list" and the rest of the class were told that she was disgusted with them and that they are now banned from doing any Xmas activities for the rest of the week.
I sat and watched the play and the kids were amazing, they sang their songs really well and did their reading and considering 12 kids didn't actually turn up and they had to cover their lines they did amazingly well.
We didn't finish until 7pm, so after a long day at school they did brilliantly, all of them.
It has just left a really bad taste in my mouth.
My Dd (5) came home and said I wasn't good in the play tonight, miss xxxxx said so.
Is it me or is this really uncalled for?

Sallyhasleftthebuilding Tue 15-Dec-15 08:19:27

The teacher will have higher expectations, she has seen them perform better. Its really preasured.
Shes human and lost her rag.
That said its over and pointless telling them off.

BackInTheRealWorld Tue 15-Dec-15 08:24:44

Who told you she said all that?

Greengrass1982 Tue 15-Dec-15 08:43:05

Can you find out what was exactly wrong with their behaviour for the teacher to react like this?

yakari Tue 15-Dec-15 08:57:01

Hmm that does sound like there may be more to it. Maybe something happened backstage, maybe a lot of poking and prodding on stage the audience couldn't see? Who knows but before I judged I'd want to ask the teacher for some clarification. Yes, it's awful that she crushed the kid's celebrations after the show but really make sure you get the whole story - what happened and exactly what was said.

Whatthefreakinwhatnow Tue 15-Dec-15 08:58:46

Did you actually hear her say this, or did your 5 yo tell you??

NoahVale Tue 15-Dec-15 08:59:24

was it the 12 kids that didnt turn up that she had words with by any chance?

PurpleDaisies Tue 15-Dec-15 09:00:58

Were you backstage during the performance? Do you know how the kids were behaving? How do you know what the teacher said?

irvine101 Tue 15-Dec-15 09:02:28

I find this really sad. Children can get over excited due to tiredness, unusual circumstance etc.
Teacher must be exhausted after long day and all the pressure, but they are adult.
Ruining something fun and memorable for little children like this is not very nice.

Sweetsecret Tue 15-Dec-15 09:32:27

My dd told me the story,then heard the stories that other parents had been told by their children and they all said the same story.
I spoke to the head this morning and asked for clarification and she said they were not upto their standard of behaviour and they have now banned them from part of the Xmas party tomorrow.
All I saw was they were excited and a few were turning round and talking a few times, but nothing that would Warrant them being given such a dressing down, and being told they were "bad" like pp said seems silly telling them after the play, now they are punishing them two days after the fact.
The head was quite rude to me and said that their behaviour was disgusting, believe me I have high standards of good behaviour and they were a group of children who were enjoying every minute of doing their performance it's such a shame.
I understand that teachers are knackered towards the end of term and may have got stressed, but so do the kids. They are 5 and 6 years old.

NoahVale Tue 15-Dec-15 09:34:56

good for you for talking to school, perhaps they will relent

Whatthefreakinwhatnow Tue 15-Dec-15 09:41:33

I'm sorry*OP*, but at 5 and 6 they are not babies and should know how to behave themselves. I would be very disappointed in my DD if she misbehaved during the school play, the teachers and the Bilston have worked really hard to put it together, to them much about is not on.

DonkeyOaty Tue 15-Dec-15 09:42:42

I wonder if there were cumulative behind the scenes shenanigans?

VocationalGoat Tue 15-Dec-15 09:45:46

I can only imagine there must be some really, really, really big behaviour issues among the kids that you're unaware of. It's so OTT, the outburst, that I am looking for a reason to justify it.
I'm sorry, we're all knackered, overly stressed, over-worked and underpaid. So what? It's now totally kosher to run roughshod over tiny kids, let alone one another?
Sounds like a very negative environment for kids.

VocationalGoat Tue 15-Dec-15 09:50:45

Unless of course there is just bigger stuff you're unaware of... sorry I am continuing.
My son went to a school with a bunch of unruly brats for tots and they were 5-6 at the time. They needed so much shouting all the time. It was awful. As a parent, I wasn't always privy to it, but a couple of my friends worked at the school and the stories I sometimes heard made the mind boggle.

We don't really know what kids can be like. We're not on the front line. Sometimes the worst ones know when to 'pack it in' when they're on stage, but behind the scenes they might be chasing teachers around with a pair of 'lefty' scissors. That's one of the stories I heard.
You never know.
But it's so soul destroying for the nice kids. I took my son out of that school because I got so fed up of the negative, stressed out staff (excellent teachers they were, too! But just overwhelmed by kids who were taught no values at home) and the rugrats who just got worse with age.

Sweetsecret Tue 15-Dec-15 09:51:11

Argh, I typed out a reply and then deleted it. Start again! 😁I listened to what my DD said and then got a load of messages from parents saying what their children had told them and they all added up, they were all saying the same story.
I spoke to the head this morning as saw her in passing and she said she was very disappointed in the children as they behaved really badly. All I saw was that they needed to be hushed a few times when they got a bit chatty, other than that they were just enjoying it all.
I have a high standard of behaviour so I get what is expected and they were not behaving that bad they were just a bit over excited.
Another mum who was the videographer text me and said that she has watched it back and the kids were fine.
I understand that teachers are knackered and it's a stressful time but so are the kids they have been hyping them up doing Xmas stuff and they were excited.
Hopefully the kids will just remember the fun they had and not being told how bad they were afterwards.

Sweetsecret Tue 15-Dec-15 09:51:54

Oh it did post! Bloody hell I think I need more coffee! Ha.

wheelofapps Tue 15-Dec-15 10:08:34

This sounds very negative from School.

What chance do the kids have to 'improve' and earn their Party back again? None.

It's odd that 12 kids 'didn't turn up' too?

VocationalGoat Tue 15-Dec-15 10:11:18

It's such a shame... their burnout is just not an excuse for shouting at such small kids. And honestly, the kids are so, so young. Yes, they ought to know right from wrong and good behaviour from bad, but I look back at my eldest (who is almost 14) and sometimes my expectations of him when he was 5 years old were well over the top.
I just admire the kids for being able to stay still and recall all of the words for an hour's worth of song and lines! I couldn't do it at my age. grin Poor mites.

Sorry I went off on a tangent about my son's old school. I think I was just trying to find a reason for teachers being so harsh at your DC's nativity. If it's of any comfort, mt son hardly remembers being the donkey (I cried, they sang such a moving song!). DD cried throughout her nativity this year and just wanted to go home... didn't want to be there. So after about the 5th parent asking me, "What's wrong with her?" I thought, "The pristine, coiffed, well-slept armchair psychologists will be having a field day over coffees in Cafe Nero." blush
Hopefully your DC won't recall this sad 'blip' down the road. sad flowers
It hurts to see our kids' most joyful days as infants overshadowed by the stress of overworked, undervalued (by the government, not parents) teachers.

ghostspirit Tue 15-Dec-15 10:12:19

ita hard to know the full situation with little ones. but it does seem a bit harsh when they have had such a long day. they were probably tired as well... but anyway if they were naughty. missing out on xmas activitys all week is a bit ott. punishing 5 year olds for a week. is a bit much.

hopefully the teacher was sounding off/tired herself. and the rest of the week will be fine.

Sweetsecret Tue 15-Dec-15 10:13:00

But that's the point from what I saw they weren't behaving badly they were singing all their songs well and doing all the actions etc, let's not forget this is a kids nativity not RSC, my Dd was just sat and did her part I saw her turning round a few times. There were some boys getting a bit over excited. They said only six children behaved themselves out of 60! (Two classes) if that was the case their would've been absolute carnage, which their wasn't. Anyway, it's just a shame that it has put a cloud over the whole thing. They are such lovely kids all of them. I have helped out in the class many times and they are really a good bunch.

RamblingRedRose Tue 15-Dec-15 10:16:56

Wow, before my daughter's school play they made an announcement that they are still only little so may fidget or forget lines etc

It's just a school play not bloody RADA.

StoptheRavelry Tue 15-Dec-15 10:19:34

I agree with you OP - I think it's appalling when teachers do this. They are five year olds FFS sad

I would be maintaining that I was extremely disappointed in the school's attitude to this and telling them that my child would no longer be taking part in out-of-hours performances if this was how the children were going to be treated.

Not much you can do about it in school hours sadly - except consider moving schools, but that depends on the wider picture.

I hope you have managed to reassure your dd that the teacher was just tired and being a complete cow (in age appropriate terms), and that she did really well and you loved the play.

purplepandas Tue 15-Dec-15 10:24:11

Bloody hell, that is terrible. I would be livid with the school. The head's response is not good either. Seriously, the children are so tired and they are only little still.

hufflebottom Tue 15-Dec-15 10:27:37

They're 5 years old it's the last week of what's been a bloody long term and it finished at 7pm.

The teachers need to get a grip. I appreciate they are shattered but I fail to see how 6 out of 60 behaved and the rest didn't. If a lot of the parents are saying it was good I don't see how nearly 50 odd kids misbehaved.

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