Daughter's first parents night

[Specialsnowflake1]

Hi

My DD started P1 in August and her first parents night is on Thursday. What should I expect from it? What questions should I ask?

I will be going by myself as her father (separated) lives abroad and is unable to attend and my DP doesn't think its appropriate from him to attend as I didn't attend his DS's one for the same reason. I'm sure the teacher will be judging away.

Thanks

[saltlakecity]

Why would the teacher be judging? You do realise nearly half of all marriages fail and hundreds of thousands of kids are growing up in homes with step parents or a parent's partner. At the schools I've taught at I've been more surprised when two parents come to parents eve together to be honest.

[Specialsnowflake1]

It's a private school and I have been told by another mum that I am the only single parent in the class.

[titchy]

IME it's usually only when parents are separate that both attend. Together parents tend to just have one of them attend. Not sure why you think otherwise tbh - mostly one parent has to stay at home to look after other kids, or they're at work.

[titchy]

By the time they've left that school you'll be one of many.... Separation isn't a class or money thing you know, otherwise Royal marriages would last...

[TimonAndPumbaa]

Ah don't worry. I'm married but never take my husband as he's always in work. I had dd's first parent's eve last week and I saw two separate grandmas attend as parents were in work. Every family is different and I'm sure they won't be judging.

Enjoy the meeting for what it is: to find out about how your dd is getting on in school/what she enjoys/ what she might be struggling with. At my session they talked about what the children were learning and how they were going about teaching it and gave me guidelines for how I could help at home. She talked abut how dd has settled in and how she has a lovely little friendship group and the sort of things she enjoys playing. It was lovely, honestly. Don't be worried.

[Specialsnowflake1]

Thanks, Do you have any advice on what to expect from a P1 (Scottish) parents night?

[Specialsnowflake1]

Thanks T&P what questions did you ask if any? if you dont mind me asking.

[Jhm9rhs]

I doubt they'd even notice, let alone judge.

My very limited experience which is of one state school is that, unless there's a truly glaring problem, if you don't ask very specific questions you'll be told 'DC is doing fine ' and that's about it. What questions you ask depends what is most important to you, I tend to ask about friendships, behaviour, any other concerns such as handwriting which is our big one, and what I can do to support the kids' targets.
At our most recent parent's evening, my DS' teacher didn't raise any concerns, but when I asked her directly if she thought d's might need speech therapy, she said yes, and she arranged it through the school the next day. It is worth raising any concerns.

[BackforGood]

Agree with everyone else - they won't even notice, let alone draw any conclusions from it.
Loads of families have one parent still at work or one parent looking after the dc. IME, it's the minority that have 2 at a parents' evening.

However, back to your question......

Generally it will be for the teacher to give you information about how they are getting on at school. Obviously, ask away if you have any concerns or worries, or if you are a bit puzzled by something or unsure of something, but there's no need to create a list of questions if there isn't anything worrying you

[Madcats]

I can't imagine they would bat an eyelid! I think my husband made it to one 4-7 year old school thing.

I think P1 is about 5 or 6 (so still getting the hang of reading and writing and sharing stuff).

DD seemed to have a big issue about going to the loo in 1st term (too scared to ask, maybe) and then worried about filling water bottles later on. Silly things, but quite important.

I also asked:

Who are her friends? (Did it stack up with what I thought?)
How does she play? (Does she argue? Can she play alone? etc)
What topics will she be doing this year? (just in case you are near a museum or pop into the library to choose some books)
Is she happy or does she look bored/tired in class?
Should I be worried that she might be dyslexic (DD had a habit of reversing written and spoken words until she was nearly 8...was told not to fret and she nailed it when she was about 8)
What authors would be good to read/let her read?

At the end of the day you need to work with a teacher to ensure that your child loves learning.

[itsmeohlord]

I think DH attended about one parents evening for my kids - he was always away. Didn't occur to me I would be judged, I am sure I was not.

[Specialsnowflake1]

Thanks for the feed back. I know I won't be judged really but I can't help thinking i will be silly i know

[Lonecatwithkitten]

As a single parent with a child in an independent school what I would be really wary of is the parent who by the first half of term knows every families circumstances and feels it necessary to tell you that you are the only single parent.

[Specialsnowflake1]

Thanks Lonecat

[queenofthepirates]

I'm a single mum and the number of my married friends who privately wish they weren't having to negotiate a marriage and kids is quite high!

[mercifulTehlu]

Don't fret about thinking up questions to ask, unless you have any burning ones! Either you will have questions which arise from what the teacher says, or you won't (because they are pretty used to what parents want to know). The teacher won't judge you for not arriving with a load of questions to ask. Just go with the flow! (Teacher here).