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Daughter's first parents night

(18 Posts)
Specialsnowflake1 Wed 04-Nov-15 18:05:02

Hi

My DD started P1 in August and her first parents night is on Thursday. What should I expect from it? What questions should I ask?

I will be going by myself as her father (separated) lives abroad and is unable to attend and my DP doesn't think its appropriate from him to attend as I didn't attend his DS's one for the same reason. I'm sure the teacher will be judging away.

Thanks

saltlakecity Wed 04-Nov-15 18:12:15

Why would the teacher be judging? You do realise nearly half of all marriages fail and hundreds of thousands of kids are growing up in homes with step parents or a parent's partner. At the schools I've taught at I've been more surprised when two parents come to parents eve together to be honest.

Specialsnowflake1 Wed 04-Nov-15 18:15:11

It's a private school and I have been told by another mum that I am the only single parent in the class.

titchy Wed 04-Nov-15 18:15:14

IME it's usually only when parents are separate that both attend. Together parents tend to just have one of them attend. Not sure why you think otherwise tbh - mostly one parent has to stay at home to look after other kids, or they're at work. confused

titchy Wed 04-Nov-15 18:16:22

By the time they've left that school you'll be one of many.... Separation isn't a class or money thing you know, otherwise Royal marriages would last...

TimonAndPumbaa Wed 04-Nov-15 18:18:25

Ah don't worry. I'm married but never take my husband as he's always in work. I had dd's first parent's eve last week and I saw two separate grandmas attend as parents were in work. Every family is different and I'm sure they won't be judging.

Enjoy the meeting for what it is: to find out about how your dd is getting on in school/what she enjoys/ what she might be struggling with. At my session they talked about what the children were learning and how they were going about teaching it and gave me guidelines for how I could help at home. She talked abut how dd has settled in and how she has a lovely little friendship group and the sort of things she enjoys playing. It was lovely, honestly. Don't be worried.

Specialsnowflake1 Wed 04-Nov-15 18:19:04

Thanks, Do you have any advice on what to expect from a P1 (Scottish) parents night?

Specialsnowflake1 Wed 04-Nov-15 18:20:09

Thanks T&P what questions did you ask if any? if you dont mind me asking.

Jhm9rhs Wed 04-Nov-15 18:28:06

I doubt they'd even notice, let alone judge.

My very limited experience which is of one state school is that, unless there's a truly glaring problem, if you don't ask very specific questions you'll be told 'DC is doing fine ' and that's about it. What questions you ask depends what is most important to you, I tend to ask about friendships, behaviour, any other concerns such as handwriting which is our big one, and what I can do to support the kids' targets.
At our most recent parent's evening, my DS' teacher didn't raise any concerns, but when I asked her directly if she thought d's might need speech therapy, she said yes, and she arranged it through the school the next day. It is worth raising any concerns.

MiaowTheCat Wed 04-Nov-15 19:08:53

I used to teach in both the state and independent sector and I honestly can say that, unless it's one of these situations where you need to have separated parents leaving out of different school doors or they'll go Jeremy Kyle on you - no eyebrows will be raised at all! By the end of parents evening most teachers are too knackered and talked out to raise anything other than a wine glass! Plus lots of couples will have one parent staying at home to watch the kids... and you also get these families for whom it seems like a family outing akin to a trip to A+E where grandparents and all sorts come along as well!

As for what to ask - what do you want to know? Some parents like to know the levels and assessments of everything, some just want to know their kids are settled in and behaving, some have specific things they want to follow up.

BackforGood Wed 04-Nov-15 20:38:43

Agree with everyone else - they won't even notice, let alone draw any conclusions from it.
Loads of families have one parent still at work or one parent looking after the dc. IME, it's the minority that have 2 at a parents' evening.

However, back to your question......

Generally it will be for the teacher to give you information about how they are getting on at school. Obviously, ask away if you have any concerns or worries, or if you are a bit puzzled by something or unsure of something, but there's no need to create a list of questions if there isn't anything worrying you smile

Madcats Wed 04-Nov-15 20:42:58

I can't imagine they would bat an eyelid! I think my husband made it to one 4-7 year old school thing.

I think P1 is about 5 or 6 (so still getting the hang of reading and writing and sharing stuff).

DD seemed to have a big issue about going to the loo in 1st term (too scared to ask, maybe) and then worried about filling water bottles later on. Silly things, but quite important.

I also asked:

Who are her friends? (Did it stack up with what I thought?)
How does she play? (Does she argue? Can she play alone? etc)
What topics will she be doing this year? (just in case you are near a museum or pop into the library to choose some books)
Is she happy or does she look bored/tired in class?
Should I be worried that she might be dyslexic (DD had a habit of reversing written and spoken words until she was nearly 8...was told not to fret and she nailed it when she was about 8)
What authors would be good to read/let her read?

At the end of the day you need to work with a teacher to ensure that your child loves learning.

itsmeohlord Wed 04-Nov-15 20:46:11

I think DH attended about one parents evening for my kids - he was always away. Didn't occur to me I would be judged, I am sure I was not.

Specialsnowflake1 Thu 05-Nov-15 07:55:34

Thanks for the feed back. I know I won't be judged really but I can't help thinking i will be silly i know

Lonecatwithkitten Thu 05-Nov-15 09:28:54

As a single parent with a child in an independent school what I would be really wary of is the parent who by the first half of term knows every families circumstances and feels it necessary to tell you that you are the only single parent.

Specialsnowflake1 Thu 05-Nov-15 13:00:19

Thanks Lonecat

queenofthepirates Thu 05-Nov-15 13:05:55

I'm a single mum and the number of my married friends who privately wish they weren't having to negotiate a marriage and kids is quite high!

mercifulTehlu Thu 05-Nov-15 13:11:13

Don't fret about thinking up questions to ask, unless you have any burning ones! Either you will have questions which arise from what the teacher says, or you won't (because they are pretty used to what parents want to know). The teacher won't judge you for not arriving with a load of questions to ask. Just go with the flow! (Teacher here).

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