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Lessons at the tutors home - advice please?

(11 Posts)
honestmum Mon 02-Nov-15 20:59:12

Hi all, my daughter (Yr3) has SpLD and we have been looking for tutors to boost confidence and learn techniques. We have found a tutor online and I would be grateful for advice or thoughts on whether to leave her at the session (which is at the tutors house) she has never met or visited before but when I suggested I may stay - tutor who appears to have an established record in schools as senco suggested it may be a distraction to stay and I should drop and collect after the session.

We haven't had any personal recommendations but have spoken via email and phone (briefly) and I just wanted to see what others would do - thank-you for reading.

I think she would stay if I said I was comfortable with it but I am not entirely sure.


goingmadinthecountry Mon 02-Nov-15 21:06:31

When I tutored I always liked to do it in my home ( everything to hand) but would offer parents choice to stay in sitting room with cup of tea during 1st session then call them in at the end. To be honest, I have mainly only tutored children I know/know of but I wouldn't expect a child that age just to be dropped off without having met the tutor beforehand. If you're not happy, don't leave her. At least have a meet and chat session first - I would expect all decent tutors to offer this for no charge.

Nearlycaughtawoozle Mon 02-Nov-15 21:10:26

I am a tutor and would not want a parent to leave their child on their own.

I go to people's homes generally. I am always astounded that no-one to date has asked to see DBS, proof of identity or qualifications - maybe I have an honest face.

When my DC had tutors, I always asked to see the above. A tutor should also have appropriate insurance IMO. I never left DC unaccompanied until they were older and I was certain that they felt comfortable with the person and situation.

CloudsAway Mon 02-Nov-15 22:10:59

I tutor children at my home, and I prefer the parents not to be here for the first session - I meet them to start with, make sure the child is comfortable, and then suggest they go to a nearby cafe or something for half an hour or so, then come back early and have a look at what the child has done, discuss things wit me, etc. I don't have anywhere the parents can wait other than in the same room, and to be honest, it is a total distraction when the parents are there, both for me and for the child, and I get a really different view of what the child is like and is capable of when their parent isn't sitting there. I get most of my pupils from word of mouth recommendations, which helps; I can also provide references for those who are new. But the majority of parents have been fine with it. Some of them have wanted to stay for the start of the lesson, and I do let them if they really prefer it, though try to discourage it if possible as it really does change the dynamic. Most children get on fine once they are left to it, as I try to start with games and things and get to know them, and they get over any nervousness very quickly.

honestmum Mon 02-Nov-15 22:14:51

Thank-you for your comments on this - I just expected to be able to stay not necessarily in the same room but near by rather than been told there is a local supermarket and coffee shop near. I just think it is quite an expectation for her to just be just dropped off and feel comfortable. As I say I have never even met the tutor. Any advice on how I can approach it as I know she was saying that is how she teaches. Thanks so much in advance

Nearlycaughtawoozle Mon 02-Nov-15 23:15:40

Can I ask where you got the tutor? I have never found having parents in the room to be a problem at all. If your daughter has dyslexia, I would strongly recommend getting a tutor from the British Dyslexia Association website.

I would not want such a young child to go in to an unknown person's house. 1:1 teaching is really positive but also quite intense so the child needs to feel comfortable.

honestmum Mon 02-Nov-15 23:47:50

Thanks for your response, I contacted a tutor from an approved website who said he was full but could recommend a colleague (not on the website but has recently registered and soon will be??). I am desperate to get this extra help for her, and found it very very difficult to secure a place as demand seems to out weigh supply - so many said they were full. However, I am not comfortable whatsoever in dropping off when this is expected and I feel awkward in seeming too overprotective, overinvolved - I would be happy to read my book outside but feel I should be onsite. She is very anxious to new experiences, I haven't checked anything in regards to safeguarding only taken word for experience etc which CV seems impressive. Thanks again

cingolimama Tue 03-Nov-15 11:46:42

OP, it's important for your DD and the tutor to form their own independent relationship - one that has nothing to do with you. Also, it absolutely is a distraction to have the parent in the room (or within listening distance) - it changes the dynamic and affects the teaching. So I think it's a good thing (and very normal) and shows the teacher is experienced and competent.

However, if you have doubts about the teacher, then get a personal recommendation or two. No professional tutor will mind you requesting to be put in touch with a parent of a past or present pupil. This might reassure you.

Good Luck.

whojamaflip Tue 03-Nov-15 11:55:19

When ds had a tutor for maths, I went and sat in on his first visit then as he was comfortable he went on his own after that. It maybe helped that the tutor was a teacher at the local high school and I sort of knew her through a friend of a friend.

I have done tutoring myself in the past and I certainly wouldn't have a problem with parents staying provided they didn't try to interfere with the lesson - one mum used to love having an hour curled up on the sofa with a good book grin

namechangedtoday15 Tue 03-Nov-15 12:26:59

Do you know anyone else who has used him? If not, given that you've not met him before, I would want to stay for a little while, even suggest the tutor does not use it as a teaching session, maybe have a half session (you start 'proper' sessions the following week), maybe take examples of your DD's work that she can show the tutor. Maybe just use it as a "drink and biscuit" session for your DD, the tutor can show her the room where she'll be, the materials they'll use etc. Then you're all more comfortable with the scenario when the sessions start properly.

And I would want to see the DBS and other certification (qualified etc) if he's not on the website.

alejandramartinez Tue 17-Nov-15 11:30:17

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

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