There's been such a massive jump from Reception class to Yr1 in terms of the teaching, expectations, punishments and communication ...
And I don't want to be That Parent but I'm pretty sure some of this isnt ok, but I want to make sure I deal with it correctly rather than being dismissed as being unrealistic/ demanding etc.
So... 3 different but over lapping situations happening, but I'll share 1 as been trying to post for ages & not finishing the OP!
So
- DS is very deaf though hearing fluctuates. School knows this, was told new teacher was briefed thoroughly. I have reminded her and also he's gone to ENT appointments in school time which the teacher has approved herself. He now has to have an operation, which maybe gives me a reason to bring it up yet again?
So near beginning of term DS kept getting upset as teacher would tell him off for not doing things and although that seems to have stopped I'm not sure she actually helps him or checks he's heard, I think DS has stopped trying to please her instead :(
He's turned his attention to friendships instead and is best friends with one boy who just never listens, and when they're together DS (who tbh is very up for following others) and the boy are terrible together. It's so easy for DS to stop listening as its really hard work for him to follow what's going on, and I see how tired DS gets at home trying to concentrate and keep up. So DS loves getting absorbed in playing with his friend, and he knows he shouldn't be, but having seen them together, it appears that DS friend knows he's ignoring people enough to stop doing it after being warned, but as DS can't hear a sodding thing anyone says unless they're directly in front of him, he carries on way after when it's acceptable, and it's gone from DS being withdrawn and not following the class (& his friend being renowned for not listening), to DS being the 'naughty one' who gets in trouble all the time but as he gets something out of being silly and loud (friendship) but as he still gets told off even when he's trying to be good, and he seems to accept there's nothing he can do to please his teacher...
So, I don't want to be dismissed or ignored by being the parent excusing her little darling from being a right pain,.. But I am bloody angry about this having written it down - why has no one thought to relate this to his significant hearing loss?!
So he's now getting into trouble for it on a regular basis... Not that they've bothered to tell me or raise it as an issue, but my child has now been punished by really 'grown up punishments' which scare him a lot, Yet the friend although I'm not excusing his behavior, gets away with it as he can hear when to stop in time to avoid getting into trouble - Obviously I don't think I should say anything about the friend to the teacher - unless I suggest separating them at trouble spots? But then if nothing else changes DS just lost the only thing he enjoys about school...
By grown up punishments I mean he's gone from moving down to the cloud etc, to no minor punishments at all, and having to stand by the wall for lunchtime in front of the other classes, DS was scared he wasn't allowed to go back into his classroom and would be trapped outside alone, as no one explained what would happen (or he didn't hear). And this was after another boy got into trouble and had the same punishment for 'pushing DS over deliberately' and DS was too scared to tell the teachers they misunderstood what had happened, and made it worse by crying because it was so unfair and it was his fault so the teachers penalized the other boy even more for 'making DS cry'... Ffs.
And the final straw for me is in an after school club he's been told that if he 'doesn't listen' one more time he'll be sent to the head teacher. He's asked to give up the activity as he knows he cant stop it happening again, and he's terrified of being sent to the head (who's in a completely different building, and only really bad incidents end in going to the ht office, like punching another child or adult etc).
So what the hell do I do?
And to avoid drip dripping...
Other issues:
- I'm disabled and so can't drop off / pick up very much, and am missing out on loads of communication as its so chaotic eg notes get put in some bags but not all, yet even when I realize we've not had one the teacher will not just give me the letter, and will need asking every drop off and pick up for days and days (until after closing date for trips etc). Then some communication comes by email / parent mail, some on a white board outside the classroom door, some with random paper notes... Basically it's a mess and I can't do anything to ensure DS keeps up as she's not communicating in a way that's compatible with me being disabled (or working parents etc too, & I'm both disabled & working). I asked for her email and she gave two different ones... And I don't know what I'd say in a mail either as I don't want the first communication I manage to have with her to be a massive complaint / accusation. To make all this more frustrating, there was a formal handover which specifically said that I need them to be consistent in the way they communicate because it's so difficult for me to get there/ keep up with short notice stuff.
- Constant admin and communication errors which never get acknowledged like DS doesn't have his reading books changed for weeks though others are getting regular changed books - then WE get told off for not doing school reading books etc etc, or homework not taken in though it's given into school on the correct day, and DS gets marked down as failing to complete homework... it's something like that every single week and I'm getting the impression DS is being overlooked and marked down because of it.
- I suspected he's been coasting for ages this term, he's completely disengaged from class work as he gets no encouragement or praise, and expectation are clearly low. He's on a very low reading band, in spite of reading loads at home, and tells me he's 'bad at Maths' which I've been rather surprised at as leaving reception he was praised for his advanced Maths (?!). School signed up to athletics on Friday, and each child was set at their level, and having done some with him, no wonder he's disengaged, he's so bored... So I encouraged him to get through the too easy stuff so he can get to more interesting stuff, and without my doing more than reminding him to press the submit button, he sped through it and got 1600 points in 3 short sessions over 2 days (they get a certificate if they get 1000 points in a week). it was a bit of a shock for me as I've been trusting the school know what they're doing, except they don't do they?
Reading this looooong post makes me realize - this isn't right is it?