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Send your child to school where you teach?

(65 Posts)
linzimummy Sat 24-Oct-15 12:07:55

I'm currently applying for primary school for my daughter. I had viewed all the local schools and picked 4 but I've just found out I can send her to the school where I teach ( have taught there for the last 10 years) and I'm unsure about whether to go down this option or not. It's only a 10-15 minute drive so it's not far but we would be out of the 0.3mile catchment area otherwise.

I'm not sure whether I'm just being selfish thinking that it's perfect for school runs/childcare and it means I get to see her (& then her little brother too) participating in assemblies etc. Although it's not necessarily an outstanding school in ofsted terms, I love it and the pastoral care is brilliant.

I worry that it's not in her best interests because she doesn't get that freedom of being away from me (although I would never actually teach her) and she won't make friends in the local area. I'm also unsure how socialising with her friends out of school will work when I'm a teacher e.g her birthday parties.

Any opinions or experience of this most welcome!! Thank you

Keeptrudging Sat 24-Oct-15 12:12:41

I did it, it was great, never had problems with bullying because of it. Saw all her shows/assemblies/sports days, used to love seeing her in the passing, nice getting a sneaky hug smile!

anothernumberone Sat 24-Oct-15 12:14:33

I would do it. Especially if it is a bigger school where you can avoid teaching them although I have been in class with a parent and child many times over the years.

linzimummy Sat 24-Oct-15 13:33:28

Thank you, that's really helpful. It's a tough school to work at, the children have a variety of needs. I love the idea that my children experience this diversity. I think my main concern is the social aspect when they're out-of-school. I think the parents will always see me as a teacher rather than parent and I'm just not sure how that would work.

But then, my children already have a lot of family friends for out of school. Would they socialise often with school friends? Am I just worrying unnecessarily?

AbbeyRoadCrossing Sat 24-Oct-15 13:42:27

My Dad was a teacher and from my point of view I wouldn't. It wasn't awful, so if it's unavoidable it'll be OK but it wasn't great as a pupil.
E.g. if he had to tell someone off kids would complain to me.
I also couldn't win with homework, tests etc. If I'd done well it was assumed he'd helped me. If not then why hadn't I done well as my Dad teaches it? That was from other teachers by the way.

Like I say, not awful but I would've preferred to be at different schools

WildStallions Sat 24-Oct-15 13:49:09

I think if you do you'll significantly miss out on what it's like to be a parent of a primary school.

Ie you won't be able to make friends with other mums. You won't be able to discuss her education with anyone. Won't be able to go to parents eve.

I think she'll miss out on loads of social stuff.

And hanging round before and after school will be a pain for both of you.

mrz Sat 24-Oct-15 13:55:53

I wouldn't from brief experience of doing supply in my child's school and accounts from adult friends who attended schools where there parents taught.

linzimummy Sat 24-Oct-15 16:14:36

Thank you for all the replies. I really appreciate hearing both sides. I'm totally undecided!

MrsCampbellBlack Sat 24-Oct-15 16:18:22

We have lots of staff whose children go to the same school that they teach in.

My observation is that it is problematic. If you have tricksy child it is very hard indeed as parents feel it is very hard to complain about a teacher's child - have seen this all go very wrong recently.

Also the teachers do seem to be quite removed from the other parents - however his is perhaps not a bad thing wink

WildStallions Sat 24-Oct-15 16:27:04

They only do an hour a week of cooking / textiles / RM etc. if you and her are unhappy about her dropping subjects like that it's pretty easy to do them out of school.

I wouldn't let this be the deciding factor when choosing between 2 schools.

WildStallions Sat 24-Oct-15 16:30:05

2 thing I would choose on are:

1. What Subjects are they allowed to take for GCSEs. (Some schools put you in pathways. Some don't. Some allow you to take triple science / 2 MFLs / 2 humanities. Some don't)

2. Do they stream? For what subjects? Fully or partial?

Those would be my tie-breaking criteria.

WildStallions Sat 24-Oct-15 16:30:48

Sorry! Posted on wrong thread.

BackforGood Sat 24-Oct-15 16:41:10

I would certainly avoid it if there were viable options elsewhere.

I speak as a teacher (who feels absolutely it was the right decision for us for our dc to go elsewhere) and as the child of a teacher who had her Mum at the same school and hated it.
I think it's best for your dc if they get to be their own person in their own space, not 'MrsX's dc'

linzimummy Sat 24-Oct-15 16:48:24

Thank you everyone, that has really helped. I'm actually on the fringe of the catchment for all 4 schools I like so there's a chance I might not get into any of them and then end up with the council giving us our nearest school which I absolutely will not send her to! So I think I'll put down three I like and then my school as a fourth choice last resort to avoid just being given a school I don't want.
Thank you for all the advice

twolittleboysonetiredmum Sat 24-Oct-15 16:54:35

I'm having exactly the same debate at the moment in incredibly similar circumstances. Our local wraparound is quite poor whereas at my school it would be fine. It's a challenging catchment of chn at my school but great pastoral and I love the thought of not missing out on anything. But I do worry it's the selfish choice as its far far easier for us logistically than local schools.

Sallyhasleftthebuilding Sat 24-Oct-15 16:55:22

My friend works in a school with her DD, she runs to mom at every chance, never needs to think for herself, as mom knows whats happening, she has difficult friendships, and causes problems. Another friend with a DS who is badly behaved struggles to cope as Ds thinks he can get away with things because of who mom is, and probably does.

twolittleboysonetiredmum Sat 24-Oct-15 16:55:51

My main worry, like you, is the social side for them. Colleagues have their chn in and it seems a lovely thing to do. Their kids are all happy and settled and no bullying issues. I wouldn't do it for secondary, but is it a massive Issue at primary? I don't know!

thunderbird69 Sat 24-Oct-15 17:03:35

I think it is a bad idea, unless the school is so big that you won't have any contact with them.

My kids had classmates who had a parent working at the school - they were always mentioning the favouritism that took place. I think it would be like working somewhere where your parent was the boss.

Marshy Sat 24-Oct-15 17:05:36

There's nothing wrong with being selfish re the logistics. That just makes life easier for everyone which has to be a good thing.

The social side of primary is well over rated in terms of later school life. I'm sure your dc will still get invited to parties etc and they will be making their own friends in secondary with much less influence from you.

I'd say go for it.

linzimummy Sat 24-Oct-15 17:50:09

Thank you twolittleboysonetiredmum - it's always nice to know there's someone in the same position. I'd be interested to know what you decide. I think, if I gave her the choice, my daughter would rather go to a school of her own rather than mine. But it'd be so much easier for childcare! Their dad works shifts and we don't really have supportive family to help out. It's a big decision!

twolittleboysonetiredmum Sat 24-Oct-15 18:07:55

Same here re family. We've 3 chn to consider so logistics features highly! I know my chn would be nurtured and feel secure at my school, I'm not sure academically it's the best choice but I don't think that's so important at primary level as we can fill in the gaps. I know for eg should I be late doing pick up that a colleague would care for them. That's a big deal for me. Would that sort of thing help you too? I just have this nagging voice that I shouldn't be prioritising our needs over theirs but then it should be a balance right?! What's your deadline for applying?

Muskey Sat 24-Oct-15 18:16:31

Having been on the flip side of this. Dd was badly bullied in school by three girls one of whom was a teachers daughter who in the eyes of everyone could do no wrong. I removed my dd from the school because the school refused to do anything about it. The teacher mum actually taught all of her three dc (one set intake). I actually think it's unethical for a teacher to teach their own dc and I don't think it does anything for the parent child bond but as I say I and dd was on the receiving end.

anothernumberone Sat 24-Oct-15 18:19:08

I don't know though, each person's experience is different. I am from a big teaching family my grandfather taught all of his children (9 of them) and they loved and didn't love it in equal measures but still regale us with the tales of it. My cousins had one parent as headteacher and the second as a class teacher in a fairly small school and were taught by both over the years, again they have good and bad memories and some of my cousins have said they will definitely send their kids to their own school and others not. I think it is not one that can be answered on others experiences, you need to go with your gut and what is right for you.

As an aside I am friends with another parent in dd's school who is now a teacher there having retrained. We don't discuss school because I would rather not be bitching about her colleagues, not that I really would be this year but we have plenty of other things in common.

twolittleboysonetiredmum Sat 24-Oct-15 18:19:51

That's hard muskey. I've not experienced teachers dc receiving special treatment in my school but can imagine it happening. Your poor dd sad it's likely I'd end up teaching one of mine at least. I think it'd be ok

MrsCampbellBlack Sat 24-Oct-15 18:20:55

I do think it is hard for the child of a teacher - if they get to play Mary for example in the nativity - other parents mutter it is because of their parent. However if they're naughty or have any problems they are judged very harshly because they are a teacher's child.

Also I'm not massively keen on going to speak to a teacher and finding her child in the classroom so you can't have a private conversation - but that may be unique to some schools.

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