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Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

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Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

Primary education

School pressurising us to remove DS

29 replies

SharksDontBrush · 29/06/2015 16:19

DS coming to end of YR. Once in spring term and once this term we have spoken to class teacher regarding DS reporting he has been injured/hit by others. He comes home with visible injuries and damaged uniform. DS very mild, gentle child. Class teacher always refers us to Head, so have met with Head too on both occasions we reported it. School refuse to acknowledge anything untoward happens on their premises. We have in the end fingers crossed resolved matters ourselves by speaking to parents of children involved. School now telling us we obviously don't trust the school and pressuring us to move him. Can they do this? Is it lawful? What response can we give? I don't want to accept nothing has happened as I am sure it has and also what if it all flares up again in September?

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thehumanjam · 29/06/2015 16:22

I would write to the governors as this is unacceptable.

The school sound appalling it is their job to ensure that your child is safe and yet they don't seem to care at all.

SunnyBaudelaire · 29/06/2015 16:22

how are they pressuring you to move him? What are they saying?
Is it private or state?

SharksDontBrush · 29/06/2015 16:50

State. At last meeting they repeatedly asked why we had chosen the school if we are not happy. It's a faith school so the answer should be pretty obvious. Now they've written to us asking us to confirm in writing we have no issues with the school and nothing has gone on or to remove DS. We know two former governors who questioned the Head in the past and were then pressured into resigning.

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ItsNotAsPerfectAsItSeems · 29/06/2015 16:57

They've written asking you to put in writing that you have no issue???? Wtf??? You need to write to the governors. I would also be sending ofsted a copy of the letter. Totally and utterly unacceptable.
Two questions: Do they have ofsted on the horizon? Does your DS show any signs of having mild to moderate SN?
As a teacher, I'm ashamed to admit I have see schools pressurise parents to move their child when both those questions apply.

SharksDontBrush · 29/06/2015 17:04

DS is bright. No SEN. No one (not teacher/Head) ever suggested he has behaved badly.

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sunnydayinmay · 29/06/2015 17:14

Blimey, not good. At the least, I would reply by confirming in writing exactly what happened, and copying in the Head of Governors.

If you are planning to stay at the school, I would leave it at that.

Alternatively, check the school's complaints procedure and follow it to the letter.

SharksDontBrush · 29/06/2015 17:20

Thank you all of you for replies. I had no idea that speaking to the class teacher would lead to this. I perhaps naively thought that if something goes wrong at school you just mention it to the teacher and it gets sorted out. We have been considering moving him, but no idea how feasible that is. We are now in impossible position as can't approach the school should anything arise again, so really how can he now stay?

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SharksDontBrush · 29/06/2015 17:22

I am totally unclear about Ofsted. Last inspection many years ago, but school changed status and is now deemed to be a new legal entity so no idea how long that takes ofsted to inspect.

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Millymollymama · 29/06/2015 18:35

Sounds like an academy that's flexing its muscles. Illegally. They cannot suggest this even if they are their own admitting authority. You have a place and it's yours unless your child is excluded, permanently, which obviously won't happen. Stand your ground! Complain.

SharksDontBrush · 29/06/2015 19:19

Yes it is an academy. I'm thinking of seeing a solicitor for advice although don't want to fuel the fire.

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Woooooohoooooo · 29/06/2015 19:28

I would see a solicitor too and write to the governors

I'd state that DS is remaining at the school and as the school is 'loco parentis' in your absence, you expect them to deal constructively with any issues that arise while he attends.

TeenAndTween · 29/06/2015 19:28

This seems terrible.

On the other hand, why do you want to stay there if this is their attitude?

Woooooohoooooo · 29/06/2015 19:28

Describe the incidents

Woooooohoooooo · 29/06/2015 19:32

In your letter to the govenors I would outline that the head has asked you to state you have no problems or leave. Then explain to the governors that this isn't a normal letter a head would send and normal practice would be to look into parental concerns, then resolve issues that arise in a constructive manner.

SharksDontBrush · 29/06/2015 19:50

I think longterm we will want to move him, but part of it is that he should not be pushed out. He has done nothing wrong. Even if the Head can't stand us/we are being unreasonable or anything else, it's not his fault. Why should he have to move schools because he has been for want of a better word beaten up?

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Heyho111 · 29/06/2015 19:51

Is it possible that a parent that you spoke to about your child has approached the school complaining about you going to them about what you think happened. It's just their gripe seems to be with you not your S. They could have felt your actions were inappropriate as they believe there wasn't an issue. They may be covering themselves. It's odd for a school to react so strongly to a minor issue.

NynaevesSister · 29/06/2015 19:53

You can apply to the LA for a transfer. You do this as an in year admissions.

I would write to the chair of governors outlining all this with a copy of the letter you were sent, I would also write to Ofsted, doing the same, your local MP, the head of the academy chain and also the education head at your local authority. In the meantime I would look at nearby schools - you can call them and ask if they have places. And if I could I would take hime out if this school and home educate until a place came up at another school.

mysteryfairy · 29/06/2015 19:54

You've spoken to the parents of other YR children alleging that their DC have injured your DS? It does sound like your relationship with the school has broken down a bit.

Have the other parents complained about you to the school as a result of your conversation? They may not have perceived it quite as you seem to have done.

Millymollymama · 29/06/2015 20:37

Even if other parents have complained, a parent cannot be asked to remove a child because of their views. It is the child who must have committed the misdemeanor, not the parent! The school cannot do this. However, who would want to stay at a school like this???

fleurdelacourt · 30/06/2015 10:33

The school is being completely out of order IMO? Although I hear what you are saying about not wanting to fan the flames. Can you and your partner go in and see the headteacher?

Personally I don't see why talking to the other parents would be perceived badly?

It's up to you I guess? If you are happy to move him and can get the place you want for September then go for it. If not, stand your ground.

AllergyMums · 30/06/2015 12:06

I'd put it all in writing too. I suppose the main issue is that if they are incapable of dealing with bullying then what will future years look like...a bit grim I suspect.

Afraid I'd detail it all to governors, send a copy to Ofsted and start looking for a new school.

whereismagic · 30/06/2015 12:11

If it's a faith school presumably there is overseeing of pastoral care by some sort of religious organisation. If governors are not responding or are intimidated by the head I would write a letter there. It's a general advice in any bullying situation to keep a record of all communications with dates and brief summary. To be honest, I would start preparing for exit. Mostly because of school reaction to your concerns not because of children's behaviour. You need to talk to local schools about transferring your son.

proudmama2772 · 30/06/2015 15:00

I don't think you are alone in being a parent bullied by a school. I do think its true that sometimes SEN parents are treated differently.

I know your son isn't SEN but it is still scary that some schools think its ok to speak to parents this way.

At the end of the day, it's a child being affected by the behaviour of adults. Changing schools is unsettling and should only be necessary if circumstances require it. The school head should be made to apologize.

Supervet · 30/06/2015 15:08

Write to the governor's but make sure you make it clear it's been ccd to Ofsted and local MP.

I've been in a similar situation in which I was bollocked because my dd then age four told another child she was scared of a teacher , I was told all 150 other parents were happy with the school and I should leave if I wasn't.
The other parents actually had a petition at the time to get rid of her and she was gone within a year.

SharksDontBrush · 30/06/2015 15:40

Thanks all. I don't think any other parents have complained about us. No one took offence when we explained what had happened. They all seem very nice and we all get on well. We have a plan of action for now and will probably move schools longer term but not until we have time to explore all the options and where has good pastoral care. Not going to be forced into a knee jerk reaction and cause disruption for DS who is innocent in all of this. Thanks again everyone for you good ideas.

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