Reception friendship issues(6 Posts)
My late August born DS has had a surprisingly good reception year. He's been happy, made friends and seemed to be progressing reasonably well. However in the last few weeks it's all started going a bit wrong. There's a particular boy who's at the older end of the year, is much bigger and more assertive. According to my DS he keeps bossing him around, making him play games he doesn't want to play, calling him a baby etc. None of it sounds terrible but it's clearly really upset him because now when we see the boy outside of school DS hides and gets very physically stressed/upset. I've told the teacher who's lovely and very sensible. She said that although she can imagine what I'm describing based on their personalities she hasn't seen anything particularly untoward. She said they would keep a much closer eye on it over the next week and then we could talk about it again. What can I say to him or teach him to help him learn to deal with this kind of behaviour?
I'm glad the teacher is taking it seriously but it can be difficult to spot things if the children are being discrete.
Make sure your ds knows he can tell you all about it (which he obviously does) and that he can tell the teacher. However I think one of the better things that brings it to the attention of staff without it turning into a tell tale situation and also makes the child feel more empowered, it to verbally highlight it.
So if other boy calls your ds a baby, your ds says (loudly but not shouting) 'please don't call me a baby, I don't like it'. If boy tries to make him play a game 'I don't want to play that, don't make me, I don't like it'.
This brings to behaviour to the attention of the staff without your ds having to tell which puts him more in control as he has told the child he doesn't like their behaviour. It also makes it harder for staff to miss.
It can be harder in the playground though. That's usually a tell the teacher straight off.
You'll find that no form of bullying will be witnessed by school staff. Hope it works out for your son.
soapboxqueen - that's really helpful, thank you. I suspect he currently says something but inaudibly.
The same thing happened to my DS this year. Same words everything. I've told him to ignore him( the same way as he ignores me when I ask him to do something he doesn't want to.)
So I tell him that whenever the other boy calls him a name to sing into himself his favourite song and block out the other boys voice)( not very mature but it seems to work as he feels back in control!)
I forgot to say DS walks away at the same time. The other kid now wants to be his friend as DS is one of the few kids who does not worship the bully.
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