Starting Reception - can't wipe own bottom

[MrsHathaway]

DC1 started school having ticked all the boxes for what was required such as being able to dress himself and recognise his own name etc etc etc.

DC2 ticks every box but one - he cannot wipe after a poo. He pt at 2.4 and was dry at night by 3 but this has been a sticking point.

We realised recently that he can't quite reach round to do it. We knew his arms were too short to reach round the side, but he can't reach through his legs either. He has always been around the 50th centile, sometimes dipping towards 25th for weight and 75th for height. He has otherwise no problems with coordination - plays football well and can write his name and copy other words and drawings.

Obviously there's a couple of months to go yet but I wonder if anyone has any insights to offer.

Thanks in advance.

[Muskey]

Tbh I would be surprised if all the dc in your ds class could wipe their bums properly. But pp is right to say mention it to the school.

[hazeyjane]

I think a lot of children started school, still struggling to wipe their bottom properly.

Dd2 would give it a good go, but usually struggled to do a good enough job for quite a long way into yr1 reception year, and I know talking to friends that their dcs were similar.

I used to put a little make up bag in her school bag, which had a spare pair of pants and some flushable wipes.

I am now at a preschool and there are a few going up to school in September that need a fair bit more practice before they are doing it properly.

[BarbarianMum]

Can he manage if he gets down off the toilet? Sometimes they find it easier if they are not trying to balance and hang on with the other hand.

I would say being able to wipe it badly is pretty common.

[hazeyjane]

Oh, and for a while when she started it was worse, because she would be trying to do it quickly, and it was a strange loo.

[TheMotherOfAllDilemmas]

Health visitor? If there are no medical problems, I would say that you need to have an intensive wipe your own bottom course over the summer or, if he is too young, delay school start until January.

You obviously can expect that the teacher or teaching assistant do their best but to be honest, with so many children in class, it is not practical and a bit unrealistic.

[GraceGrape]

My dd wasn't very good at wiping at the beginning of reception but actually having to do it herself has made her a lot better at it. If she's done a poo at school, she gets me to check her when she gets in. Could you send him in with some of those toilet wipes that are easier to use?

[hazeyjane]

Really?! Isn't that a bit drastic (delaying)?

Honestly, loads of them make a right mess trying to wipe their bottoms. Unless there are specific needs (with a care plan) the TA or teacher isn't going to help anyway.

Hence, the kit in dd2's bag.

[BarbarianMum]

Another thing that may help are wet wipes (but make sure you get flushable ones).

[MrsHathaway]

Thanks all for your comments.

it isn't that he doesn't know what to do with the paper - and actually his digestion is good so there's rarely anything challenging to do.

It's that his fingertips don't reach his anus. He needs a Roman-style sponge on a stick don't ask.

I'll e-mail his teacher and see what she'd like us to do over the summer.

[buntingbingo]

My DD is starting in September too. She has a bash at wiping but she's not very good. Some days I end up chucking her pants they are so manky. My DD 6 still has some bum wiping skills to perfect too. I wouldn't worry too much. Just help him practice over the summer.

[LemonYellowSun]

My son is starting in September too and it is a concern. His poos are always a bit messy to deal with (even for us) , so it is hard for him to clean it well. Usually ends up wiping it all over his bum

I just hoping he does most of them at home instead

[MovingToAlnwick]

I'm worried about this too. My dd starts reception 5 days after turning 4 and really struggles with this. Sorry I can't give any advice, just wanted to let you know your DS isn't the ony one.

[AllPizzasGreatAndSmall]

Well my son claimed never to have done a poo at school ever, he's 18!

Physically it's unlikely that his arms don't reach, unless he is not in proportion in which case surely he will always have a problem as his arms won't suddenly grow more than the rest of him.
Can you get him to practice reaching/twisting when he hasn't done a poo, so that he can work out the right way to position himself, as another poster said has he tried standing?

[bobajob]

Maybe try to get him into a routine of doing a poo first thing in the morning/before bed and he won't need to do it at school.

[SkodaLabia]

Did couldn't reach until I told her to stick her tum right out so her back arched. She was trying to reach her bum by bending forward, which of course was never going to work!

[MrsHathaway]

bobajob how do you choose when to poo?!

He's relatively regular usually crack of sparrowsfart but not clockwork.

Thanks for ideas about contortion

[mrz]

A quarter of our September intake are still in nappies so supporting a child to wipe after is no big deal.

[AllPizzasGreatAndSmall]

Wow mrz that seems an awful lot! I don't work in Reception but am sure it's very unusual in my school except in children with additional needs.

[MrsHathaway]

mrz do I remember that your school is in a fairly deprived area? I think I've seen you talking about phonics challenges with illiterate parents, etc.

Yes, compared to nappies he's going to be very easy. And with any luck he'll follow his brother and avoid pooing at school anyway.

I emailed the teacher. I am such a psb bellend

[bonzo77]

You might find he doesn't poo at school. Too many distractions, unfamiliar toilet. Ds1 is at the end or reception and has only once or twice pooed at school.

[HowDoesThatWork]

MrsHathaway,

Can your son reach if he wipes from the front rather than reaching around the back?